like a fool

examination? what exam?

2012-03-06T03:25:00.001+08:00

"Don't let a single examination ru(i)n your life."

That's a quote I recall from a note written by an encouraging teacher addressed to his students receiving their results the next day.

I've never believed in examinations, but accepts them as part of the process in grading. As much as we all want to get rid of exams, unfortunately, there's no better alternative to assess students. It's plain stupid to ask someone to 'prepare' for an examination, jail him for 2,3 hours and force answers out of his poor brain. You know why? Because even after a year of studying, probably 99% is lost within days or barely hours after the exam. The only thing that remains is called an impression.

I'm not anti-studying. But I don't believe in studying things that you will never get to apply. Yes, they may 'shape' your mind, train 'critical-thinking skills', or they may simply torture the brain and send it into a state of taking mental photos and attempting to reproduce at a certain time. In life, you don't have to store every thing in that confined space between your hair and eyes. There's something called a library which is defined as a collection of books and periodicals in a room or building. Or there's such thing as the Internet which has become indispensible, ubiquitous and the closest thing to what we label as our soul. There's no qualms that basic knowledge is required to be at the fingertips, but sometimes, academic syllabi are scarier than Frankenstein. The requirements and expectations are beyond belief.

Why the need for grading in the first place? Competition.

Haven't you realised we have been just fighting amongst ourselves? The perfect deception of friendships and schoolmates masking the ugliness of competition and making the overall outlook more humanly. Unfortunately yet again, that's life.

It's all about competition. In the ecological chain, or perhaps things closer to our hearts - money, success, careers, material goods, even mating partners. Competition is part of nature's selection process, but humans brought it to a whole new level. Complexity brought next to competition and we have a formula for insanity.

You may not have memorised all or even 50% of the facts in that 200 slides of lecture notes or 500 page textbook. You may not have practised enough questions of the ten year series for your pen-holding-hand to be raring to go instinctively at a similar question. You may not have mastered the skill of writing 3000 words legibly in 3600 seconds. Or you may not have the luck, stomach, energy to survive the unbelievable stress or the preceding meal that accidentally contained chilli padi.

In short, you may not have done well for an exam. Don't be discouraged, because if you have gave it your all, it just meant that you have not mastered the art of taking examinations. It doesn't necessarily mean that you lack the knowledge, wisdom or intellect to match up to others. It simply means, your score wasn't as high in this exam. There might not be a second shot at it. But it doesn't mean that there's no 'second' shot at life. It doesn't end here. It might not have opened as many doors or any door at all. However, there are always alternative routes to take and you might just end up at the same destination. All that is required is perseverance and the immense courage to stand up again after falling from what seems to be like a skyscraper. Be brave.

Or you may have gotten straight As. It MIGHT be due to your freakish intelligence level. Or it might just be because you've memorised the answer scheme. Or perhaps it was plain hardwork that got you where you deserve to be.

But please spare a thought to those who might not have done as well, be it up to individual, peer, family or societal expectations. Instead of boasting about the distinctions, scholarships, celebrations and bright futures. Maybe you can prove that you aren't just a competitor, but a true friend who's there to lend a shoulder, an ear, a helping hand and a mere presence to those in need.

I've been through obstacles and understand how it feels. Sometimes I don't regret having to go through the hard way. Because it makes me appreciate, learn from my mistakes, and ultimately a better, and stronger person.

Up and on.

emotions

2012-02-27T14:52:00.001+08:00

I'm obliged to type something here.

I don't know why, but as of late, I've been sensing lots of 'feelings', not within myself, but within people around me. Be it positive or negative, I have this weird intuition that seems to be telling me to read into things. Or maybe it's just a conjuncture of many happenings.

I've been having a relatively neutral to fairly upbeat mood. Been the ever happy-go-lucky dude. So things have been pretty mundane. I was just doing the routine.

But it seems that some of my friends have not been having a good time. Some dealing with insecurities, parting, perpetual race against time, fatigue and even accidents. There again, there were joys of celebrations, parties, nights out, surprises, and the winning feeling.

Not only friends, the family shows signs of animosity, or probably should be down played appropriately to petty dislike or disagreement, to sense of longing, unspoken disgruntledness, boredom, loneliness, sympathy and 'oppression'.

There are too many things happening at the same time. It's like conducting a wedding and a funeral simultaneously. Sometimes I get confused whether to feel happy or sad as a result of these happenings.

And there are 2 things I really need to get done. It's been quite intriguing but I'm doing it nothing more than to ascertain everything's in order. The other, just to get it off my chest because someone's really really deviating from normal human behaviour, it's beyond insanity.

Come to think of it, I do have a depot of trains carrying thoughts at the moment. Just that I do not own the liberty to publish, nor bandwidth to document everything. However I must mention that I just rewatched Slumdog Millionaire and Up on tv and still find both as fascinating as ever. Both very well produced and scripted. But more importantly, both movies tingle with something humanly called emotions.

Overall, it has been a fascinating past 2 weeks. To cap it off, Liverpool won the league cup and I was literally shouting together with the uncles at the coffeeshop. No orchestra conductor could ever, ever better direct the harmony of voices that come together when the ball crosses the goal line. It's natural. It's a ... GOAL!!!

we were once young

2012-02-15T02:10:00.003+08:00

i was looking through some photos and was feeling kinda nostalgic. it's amazing how far we've come and the changes we've gone through, be it for the better or for the worse. it's saddening to realize that the same feelings, same treatments would never be experienced again.

there's a speech vividly etched in my mind which was made by a successful man at a graduation ceremony, telling the graduates that their best times of their lives is over and everything would be going downhill from here. he urged them to stop studying and working and enjoy what they love while they still have the chance.

what he said was somewhat true. we've spent the peak of our youth in schools, slogging it out, memorizing formulas, facts, theories, essays, assumptions and dragging fatigued bodies and minds home everyday. we are probably looking the best we would ever look, be the smartest we would ever be, be the fittest we would ever be and the sharpest we would ever be in our lives. it's downhill from here. i would leave this topic here, because i know there's no point agreeing with him and start touring the world, spending all my assets and just die. it's impractical, and life's that unfair.

instead, i would like to talk about how it is still possible to relive memories and create new ones. i wouldn't say the night 2 days ago was the best night i had in years. because it wasn't. however, it was a night which my now very rational, very practical and overly matured mind would never have thought of spending it that way. to stay up, play console games, have a guitar session, driving out to hunt for thrills yet getting more bites than creeps, having prata in the wee hours, and finally getting a shuteye at 7am before embarking on an 8-hour long lecture. it's pretty crazy isn't it. i'm thankful for the company i had, and more importantly, the memories that were created. it's nights like these that digs deep within the close bonds we have for one another. whoever said "bromance" ain't healthy?

i appreciate that i'm not the only one making the effort to hold on to this bunch of close friends. everyone plays their part. definitely there would be signs of people wanting to break away, or just being distracted, but ultimately, when we all sit down and laugh about good old times, there ain't no strangers. these are good guys. as the crowd dispersed, you see who stayed, and who left.

as for another group, i have this feeling of it reaching breaking point. the jester, entertainer, intellect, extrovert is leaving. the vocalist, contributor, enthusiast, spark has evolved and grew wings. the politician, artist, flamboyant, introvert has become more than ever, interested in the non-mainstream. the bubbly, cool, extravagant has always been the most difficult to accommodate and still is. the nucleus, governess, sociologist is starting to lose interest and patience. the balance will cease to exist the moment witty comments and entertaining arguments are short in supply. it's even more saddening to see this happening. sometimes i feel tired being the one maintaining normal functions. even though there have been attempts to take over the reigns, nothing really succeeded. i don't mind being in this role because i would merely be playing my part to maintain the balance. however, the see-saw is tilting too much now. i have no idea how this will eventually turn out, but i hope for the best. i'm sure there would be comments like i'm exaggerating things etc. my answer to that would be to just sit back, flip through the albums, and think - isn't it happening?

happy valentine's folks

2012-02-14T02:55:00.002+08:00

i can't make up my mind.

sometimes i'm glad for being single or just being left alone, doing my own things at my own time as it is so carefree, no restrictions, no limitations, no considerations, no burden, no expectations, no worries.

but at times, i feel solidarity, emptiness, purposeless, the lack of a dependent, confident and a true friend.

i really enjoy being alone in general. the idea of fending for yourself, the idea of planning your own schedule, managing your time and your life, the idea of being independent. the sweetness of freedom. sometimes i really wish to pop a champagne to celebrate the fun i'm enjoying by myself. from the times in ns, i've been caring solely for myself. it's easy. tidy and clean your own items, washing your own laundry, settling your own meals, copying for your own notes and reference, running like mad after the bus without worrying about others lagging etc. it's so easy. you don't have to give a shit about anything else except for yourself.

i genuinely love being alone. i love to plan my time such that i don't waste time doing unnecessary waiting, meaning being ON time instead of arriving early to wait. and sometimes the thrill of racing for time, knowing that your legs are the only variable mode of transport, meaning i've been running at the most unusual times and places. i love to stroll into class and walk straight to the back row at the corner of the room so that i have a complete view and knowing that there's no other pair of eyes watching you than the lecturer. i love to have the option of choosing when to listen intently and when to stare into space for no reason without anyone questioning. I love to walk in a general direction and start making convenient detours to settle my meals in cheap and good fashion, without caring about a second opinion what to eat. IN SHORT, i'm weird. Hooray!

Yep, those are some of the things that i like to do. But there are times when all of those don't matter and i just feel like turning to my right in class and start copying notes from someone else, or walking into class with an accomplice feeling less embarrassed when you are late, or having the spontaneous meal at the roadside coffeeshop drinking tea and sweating it out, or having a conversation about the scenery while i drive along the coast during sunset.

i have this horrible irony almost everyday of my life. to be alone or not? sometimes i pray my phone doesn't make a noise because i'm really too lazy to reply. but sometimes i wish someone would say hi and talk about the weather.

sometimes, i wish that i could finally stop blogging all these semi-fictional yet impulsive truthful crap and start telling someone what i'm really thinking about.

afk

2012-02-08T22:20:00.001+08:00

Hi all. The mood for typing something here just struck me. It has been pretty awesome for the past 3 weeks. Yet, I still feel kinda weird. Hmm let's analyse.

The build up to CNY was hectic. I was helping with all kinds of chores at home, from helping to repair washing machines to air con units to window blinds to the coffee table. And normal housework like hanging the curtains and mopping the floor. Not to forget running random errands, buying groceries, flowers, pussy willows etc. It's all part of the CNY mood. I remember one of my friends telling me about how his family enjoy spring cleaning because the whole family will be assigned to mop certain part of the house and they do it altogether, inwards and ultimately they will meet at one tile. That is where they will sit down and enjoy a pizza together. How cool is that?

Even on the eve, we were still cleaning. Busy but worth it. And as per norm, reunion dinner with my grandma who's 97, have a perfect set of upper row teeth but none on the bottom. She's critical but owns an infectious smile.

We didn't go visiting this year so just camped at my grandma's place for day 1 and 2, playing cards and being quite lucky this year. Went for lectures as usual and I really look forward to attending some. Good lecturers are hard to come by, but I know one when I see one. Grateful to have them.

Spent a friday at sentosa last week to see some flower exhibition and simply to tour RWS. Had the feeling of holidaying. Then there's the shopping element at vivo after that. In short, a good day out with the family.

And then the supposed dreaded journey to the north. Had to miss the class reunion because of that. But it didn't turn out that bad either. I rather enjoyed myself bringing a positive mindset. The journey felt so much shorter with a cheerful discussion about our futures. And was pleasantly surprised by the newly refurbished hotel room that we always frequent back there. The dinner wasn't that bad, it was at a decent chinese restaurant near the hotel. And following that, I managed to catch Kuyt scoring the winning goal against Man U. So, I was over the moon. The holiday feel was there again. We spent the next morning shopping and had the long lost A & W for lunch before heading home. It was a good break in my opinion.

Cage after 2 weeks was somehow not competitive despite a clash of heads and owning a resultant bump. Irony isn't it. Accidents happen.

Had a great meet up with the soon-to-be-ang-moh-accented-singaporean. It was stress-free and lighthearted yet a knowledge imparting session. There's a bigger world out there.

Today marks the start of 6 months without my elder sister. Will definitely miss her but I guess we are of the age to finally spread our wings? The house will be feeling emptier now. I can already feel it. But letting go when necessary is a skill we must all master eventually.

nice?

2012-01-16T00:23:00.002+08:00

let's see, i've spent my past week either

1. lectures

2. chores and maintenance

3. baking

4. counting cars

5. sleeping

brilliant.

apart from a bruised ankle from the match earlier, everything went pretty well. even an 8 hour long lecture on fri.

counting cars aka traffic survey was interesting. it's amazing how time flies when you are counting. it's as if you are counting sheep to sleep. anyway, it was for the quick buck, but good experience.

the cny mood is here! the spring breeze, the supermarket craze, the deco all over the house, the songs etc. but, as usual, i might have to spend it on foreign land once more. subject to confirmation of date. sigh.

sometimes i wonder, how is it possible to be so obsessed with oneself. is the world that small such that it can only be viewed through just a single lens? everyone else's opinion is wrong, irrelevant or insignificant. because the world is just about 'me'.

must i always give in? or can i finally be the one who's being disliked? it is said that being liked is so much easier than being hated, because if you are hated, at least you stood up for something in life. i don't know about that.

but i know that sometimes, somehow, probably i should just introduce myself as "Hi, my name is Mr. NOT-SO-NICE GUY. Scram."

your love is a song

2012-01-08T00:50:00.000+08:00

it's been some time since i've been able to find a song worthy to be on repeat mode.

it isn't new, but a new discovery.

teo heng was fun as usual, followed by a stuffing xlb buffet at holland v which i downed 30 small dragon buns. far cry from my record but due to some attempts at stomach reduction, it is forgivable. had a couple of cage sessions, which was coincidentally followed by ANOTHER xlb buffet which i had probably 20 more. cage has been pretty good, i feel like i'm probably 75% of my peak fitness now. although it is impossible to hit 100% unless i go through another ns, i would be happy to remain at this level or even increase it to 80%.

sherlock holmes was great. missed the beginning though. stardust was even better. hahah for probably the 11th time.

classes had just begun, started quite well. managed to stay on pace most of the time. and had a pretty shocking moment upon chancing an old friend.

i feel tired. to be always trying to live up to expectations.

can't i just be like everyone else? am i too old for my age or are they too immature for theirs?

2011 Annual Report

2011-12-31T21:46:00.003+08:00

By convention, i should be sitting here, typing away furiously and reflecting about the past 364 days. And, i think i should stick to convention, albeit keeping it short since I've covered most of the major events in detail in my weekly posts.

Overview

2011 was quite an interesting year. It has been a year of steep learning. The second year of NS was supposedly an application of the skills we acquired during training, especially since we commissioned in Jan, we had the whole year to play with. I picked up valuable administrative, social, time management, organization and small personal life skills. I definitely became more disciplined, but still have the pinch of procrastination as usual. I learnt the value of money and developed habits to align to the saving culture. However, I would still spend when i see the need to.

Achievements

I achieved a fair bit this year despite being in full time NS. Passed my manual driving and clocked a significant amount of mileage, completed the basics of accounting equivalent to a diploma, brushed up financial management knowledge, completed my NS, went on a vacation to Taiwan, had a go at various jobs associated to different industries, played lots of soccer, and had fun too.

2011 was interesting because i knew it would be a year that i will never have the chance to have a similar year. I was surprised how much freedom I had despite being in NS. My job scope was the main reason for that. I was okay with duties because I knew someone had to do it, and was glad and lucky to avoid doing on important dates. There weren't many significant public holiday during my stint so in a way I was lucky. Here's a salute to all doing duties over this festive period.

Highlights

The highlight of the year would be my birthday because it was the most difficult period this year. I was so troubled and was all alone. I was just glad that I had such a brilliant boss, and now a brilliant friend.

Audit lines up second as it was quite challenging too. Through that, I learnt how organisations or even companies work. The experience was valuable. It was an introduction to office politics and questionable work processes. Being in the middle tier of management, I coincidentally managed to see how things work on either side. It was an eye opener.

Social

I didn't make many new friends this year. I was just glad life was more bearable seeing my course mates day in day out. There were lots of politics going on, but I tried my best to stay out of it and mitigated when necessary. I still kept in touch with my good old friends be it through birthdays or random meetings or soccer or lan or movies. And of course since I haven't been making new friends, there hasn't been much attraction or repulsion. Just waiting for the right one. However, it's amazing how we have moved to this phase of life, watching videos of marriage proposals, talking about who's gonna be the best men, bridesmaids, or even talking about friends and friends ringing the wedding bells. Are we that old?

Decided to spend the countdown to 2012 at home with my family for a change. Traditionally, I should be in town with friends, especially at the Esplanade Bridge (3 years?) but realized it's really quite lame to do that. For the atmosphere probably, but it's really quite disgusting to spend the start of every new year squeezing with sweaty bodies and fretting about transport home. Is this part of growing up and maturing? Or is this just being practical yet boring?

Looking forward

i'm almost a full time student for the first half of 2012, continuing the night classes almost every weekday night. But my day times are still free for work or leisure. And that's about how i'm gonna spend my 6 months. Maybe i'll stick to my list of items and skills to pick up before entering uni to value add before another 4 years of studying commences. Sigh, that's life.

Or, will the world really end in 2012?

Either way, Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012!

May it be a jolly good year for all. :)

a thousand years

2011-12-23T00:26:00.003+08:00

life has been good these couple of weeks.

exams over, hopefully results ain't bad.

a couple of kickabout sessions, less cancelled matches due to inclement weather.

yet, brilliant weather when there ain't matches.

an enjoyable stayover with good ol' friends.

some family time in a movie theatre after a long while.

an occasional working experience.

i don't know what else to ask for. in fact, life has been great.

begging vs forgiveness.

2011-12-07T23:08:00.004+08:00

I know perhaps by putting this online, it could make matters worse, complicate things, and be just a stupid move at a bad time.

I remember an incident that happened maybe 5 years ago? I probably blogged about it as well. One of my closest friends said something horrible to me. And the worst part was that he didn't even know the damage he had inflicted. I was destroyed completely and even teared in front of the monitor screen. For that few days, I felt terrible. I never imagined to be hurt so badly by a friend and especially a close friend. I was distraught and became cold towards everyone. But then, he realised how damaging his words were and apologized to me. He was remorseful. Without hesitation, I accepted his apology and we remained as close buddies, if not, even closer.

This may be a story similar to a fairy tale, with a fairy tale ending, but it has stuck with me all these years. Not for its happy ending, but for its portrayal of true friendship.

As human beings, we all make mistakes. It's okay to make mistakes, but more importantly to own up and learn from them. It is then to the mercy of others whether forgiveness is granted.

I have never been in a position whereby forgiveness has to be rethought. It may be tough when perhaps someone took away a loved one's life, or even breaking something as simple as a promise. It may be tough, but I don't believe it's not worth considering forgiveness at all, or even declaring a death sentence without even reviewing the story.

This may be way too far fetched from the problem I'm facing. Because I have no idea how a simple wrong turn could cause such a gigantic issue. Yes, it could be a matter of basic courtesy, or even respect. But as friends, as supposed close friends, there ain't no room for error? There ain't no room for forgiveness? There ain't no room for listening? There ain't no room for returning the courtesy and respect that was the root cause of the problem?

I'm sorry, but I'm disappointed.

That's how I'm feeling and I ain't hiding it, no more, because i'm way too affected by it.

oscar. romeo. delta. over.

2011-12-06T12:52:00.000+08:00

while everyone's exclaiming how they've finally left, finally found freedom and that pink document. i took a step back to have a look at the situation.

like all phases in life, there is bound to call for the curtains and mark the end of a chapter. undoubtedly, celebrations are called for, and thoroughly deserved. however, there is something i know for sure when the curtain falls, and when we all move forward in life, there is definitely reminiscence.

the word is often related to good or positive times. however, there are occasions whereby an initial judgement was negative, but upon looking back, you realise perhaps everything wasn't so bad afterall. (having said that, there are some things i'll definitely not miss. those experiences of immense displeasure and disgruntlement, i will never forget, nor take back my words, but they 'll remain as good learning experiences)

forget about the bad. but the good. or just the plain routines. they will be missed.

i went through tough times in bmt. but somehow, i still miss the ferry, the heavy weight on my shoulders, the songs, when the cold wind blows, the intense physical training, the 'communal' living conditions, the looking out for one another, the smell of mud, the stupidness in rushing to wait, and waiting to rush, the sweetness of booking out, the preciousness of book out hours, the yearning for loved ones and the shaved head. honestly, i enjoyed bmt. it's harsh in a way, but it's something you will never ever get elsewhere. recruits have a life filled with anxiety and fear, but it's also nice sometimes to rid of all responsibilities and follow instructions. i can do that, and i did that well. but apparently, they wanted me to give instructions, so..

ocs. was scary. the building itself is intimidating enough. i didn't enjoy the start of ocs as much. there were so much more fear and expectations. i was afraid of putting one step wrong and get kicked out. it was tough as well especially since i've met some weird people at the beginning. it was strange. i never felt at home. i started to come into contact with people of extreme personlities and was quite lonely at that time. i felt i was fighting all by myself. despite all that, i'll miss jurong point. hahaha. i'll miss going there for dinner with my family just before book in in my 'penguin' attire, the white shirt and black pants. the long walk or march in to wingline was so peaceful yet eerie.

then came aftc. i was glad to have normal people with me. finally after 3 months, i felt a sense of belonging. a bunch of good guys with a similar goal and mentality as trainees. i will miss the thai officer i took care of for 7 months (maybe not so much, but a good encounter), the chicken cutlet w fried rice (omg, it's god-like legendary), the happy hours,the freedom we had after 6pm, the first parades, the somewhat useless but useful 5bx (5 basic exercises plus run) every 5.55am, our classroom 2-11, our hangar, my signal sets!, the cookhouse, the insane pull up regime, the ridiculous soc, the stabbing incident which was how i got my 'slicer' callsign, the pre-summex, summex, all the exhaust we breathed in, the times trapped in awkward positions in our vehicles when it was raining, the manpacks which i was always the one with a 60kg load, the rooftops we slept on, the extreme sleep deprivation, the extreme fasting fiesta, the extreme bonding we've achieved. people laughed at us, despised us and said air force doesn't go through shit. i can safely say, i went through shit, deserving of the commisioning on 15 jan 11. and that wasn't enough, heavens cried on our batch. we stood firm in the downpour, couldn't throw our peak caps, but commisioned successfully.

posted to unit and was in for a culture shock. it was nothing like our training. to make things worse, we had even more to learn. additional operations, duties, appointments, taskings. there is one thing i'll definitely miss: my bunk. it was like my personal retreat haven, so comfortable and memorable. i remember first walking into it as if walking into a jungle. i spent the build up to cny cleaning the room all by myself with the company of cny songs. i will miss chong pang market. it's like a mini chinatown during cny and on any other day it's an escapade from military life. i will miss the sambal fried rice, the chicken cutlet bee hoon, the teh, the flexibility of my job, my desk, the freedom of my job, northpoint nights out, 2lt nights, chong pang nasi lemak, haha even audit period. i'll somehow miss duties, because it'll be when you realise tv is your best friend. but more importantly, i will miss the people, not all, but certain people. my boss, my guys, even the cleaning auntie. i had a preview of office jobs, and i have to say i kinda enjoyed it, and will miss it. but not 8hr long meetings definitely!

people might comment how ns is a waste of time, stupid, useless etc. however, there are those who really benefitted from it. i'm one. i've learnt so much within this 2 years, and sometimes i wish everyone had this opportunity to go through what i went through, to learn what i learnt, to become a better person than before. perhaps suffering isn't that bad, because you get to appreciate every other joy you had. when you complain about not having shoes, think about those without legs. we lead lives of comfort and convenience, we sometimes forget those in misery and suffering. we might not be able to help them, but the least we can do is appreciate what we have and not live in anger and hatred.

ok i know that's abit off the topic, but i did indeed learn to appreciate every small thing. my bed, clean water, sufficient food, availability of transport, companionship even shelter and clean air. it has been a valuable 1 year 10 months, and yesterday marks the end of it. to sum things up, ns was tough but very rewarding, if i were given a choice to turn back time and choose whether to do it again, i would.

what's wrong with the world, mama?

2011-11-29T21:26:00.002+08:00

what has the world come to?

20 year old guys screaming after girl bands??

has planet earth decided to spin the other way round???

so, whatcha wanna be?

2011-11-27T04:37:00.002+08:00

don't label me as crazy for posting at this unearthly hour. i'm just inspired.

sometimes i wonder what's our purpose in life?

to aid or be aided?

to serve or be served?

to dream or be dreamt of?

to fight or be fought for?

when i said 'our', i referred to us, this batch of sg kiddos. this manufactured batch of goods to be despatched to the final destination to carry out its function.

like really, what's our purpose? this manufacturing process that i just came to realisation is kinda scary. the education system that is. the one which we all went through and are still going through.

i've seen some of the best of this batch. known them personally. and i've got into contact with some of the 'worst'. notice, mere contact. before i stray further off point, i'd better stop beating around the bush.

perhaps it isn't obvious. obviously it hasn't been obvious enough for me. the stark difference between the widening gap of the two extreme ends of social classes. the system we are in, is biased to pick out the best, groom them, to fill the very top positions. we all know that. but what happens to the rest? i haven't given much thought on that because personally, i'm pretty much resigned to the fact i'm just the average joe, like many of us. it isn't in our daily conversations and of any concern to discuss about what's happening to others not within our circle. in fact it's least of our concerns.

all we care about is what's presented on our plates. we are all tamed by this system, no rebellion, no protests. and that is because we are always pacified and satisfied which we are taught to be. we are too content to look at others. when you are safely in the embrace of people of your class, people whom the system has streamed you into your surroundings. you just take shape. in fact, not requiring any apparent effort to make you mallaeble. you simply fit in.

no one wants to be the the sore thumb. if you are, you are taken out.

i am without doubt in the class of targetted working professionals, like majority of my peers. and being in this band, i've 'unfortunately' seen the chosen ones. the ones who are welcomed to a bigger stage, playing a different ball game altogether.

by nature, i have no complaints whatsoever with the life i have or predestined 'fate'. but it's seeing how cruel this society is that has broaden my vision. i wouldn't elaborate much on this cruelty. but it can be easily inferred.

i'm daunted by this challenge of being able to connect with people outside my comfort zone. you know the system hasn't got this capability to prepare you for that. it's difficult because the mindsets' different, the topics' different, even the language's different.

perhaps, there's one more thing society wants you to learn. nature's selection process? adaptability? i'd say more so of learning to be a chameleon.

work hard folks!

fuel vs luxury

2011-11-24T17:02:00.003+08:00

this week is called medical week.

extracted 2 of my wisdom teeth on mon and was in some agony since then. i stared at the 2 healthy teeth and wondered why did i make such a retarded decision to pluck them. they looked so strong with such long roots, and very well taken care of . just because one of it was angled slightly outwards, i went for it. sigh sigh sigh no point regretting, it's irreversible. on the bright side, perhaps it's good to pull them out in case they really cause me trouble in future. whatever.

and of all times, i fell ill this week. i knew it was coming. as usual, sore throat struck first. drew first blood on sat, then sun there were signs of flu, mon cough, tue full blast, wed recovery, today recovery. feeling a lot better today.

but it's this week that i finally appreciate the things i put in my mouth. i don't have much restriction on my normal diet. but because of the scope i'm going for tml, i'm fasting, restrciting, torturing. there's hardly anything that i can eat. no dairy products and i'm pretty much screwed. no red meat, no vegetables, no fruits. what the hell's left?! so i practically fasted for the past 2 days and am a very angry man. a hungry man is an angry man. and i'm a very hungry man. :(

taiwan

2011-11-21T00:04:00.001+08:00

I miss Taiwan!! The smell of a hotel and the need for a different culture. The feeling of living smack right in the heart of a major shopping district.

Ok I shall confess. I have been too lazy to blog. But here I am finally, typing something. It isn't just something, it's the somewhat secret 10 day trip to Taiwan. Everyone was saying I just disappeared quietly and reappeared suddenly. I take that as a compliment.

Apparently the photo stats stand at 3000 ++ for the entire trip with an average file size of 6MB each thanks to my friend's borrowed Canon DSLR just for the trip. Alright let's start the long journey of mostly words and the few accompanying photos.

DAY 1 - 16 Sep 11 Fri

Took a 4hr long SQ flight to Tao Yuan International Airport and was kinda lost upon touch down. Watched Source Code and X-Men Origins on the plane and was pretty awed by the former. It's somewhat Deja Vu but a bit cooler.

Anyway we managed to get a bus ticket to Taipei. It's more like an inter city coach where you stuff your luggage in the bottom compartment of the bus after tagging. Gotta admit I was impressed by their system as I didn't expect for a not exactly glamorous bus to actually account for luggages. But kinda pitied the driver as he had to come down at every stop and ensure people don't take the wrong bag.

So it was about 6 in the evening and it was dark already with a pretty comfortable temperature of 26 and we arrived at Taipei Che Zhan which is like an interchange between railway and metro. That's beside the point because we took a cab from there to Xi Men Ding where our hotel was. And I swore I would blog about the traffic in Taiwan. Yes their traffic is horrendous. After being to Thailand, and being able to say that speaks volumes. The drivers are impatient, the scooter riders swarm the roads and there seem to be no traffic rules. The cab ride was kinda scary but somehow I trusted the driver. Even though he was driving against traffic, being centimetres apart from the adjacent vehicle, stopping and starting every few seconds, honking away, visibly pissed off, he was undeniably skillful. By the end of the trip I was convinced 99% of the drivers are that skillful. They somehow know their ranking on the road, who's big and who's small. In the end someone would give way. Throughout the trip I only encountered 1 accident and that's really quite amazing. Back to Xi Men Ding, we had to drag our bags all the way in from the main road as the small roads are closed at night for shoppers to roam freely. It's like a gigantic Bugis Street, only better, yet like an Orchard Road offering cheap stuff. And so we checked into Rainbow Hotel which is really right smack in the middle of XMD. It's located at one of the major cross junctions which allows us to just wake up and step into shopping immediately everyday. We had the first taste of shopping in Taiwan on Day 1 night and did a rough survey of the prices to aid us in the buying decision making in the subsequent days.

Ah Zhong Mian Xian. Brilliant dinner.

DAY 2 - 17 Sep 11 Sat

Day 2 started off with us having a quick breakfast at one of the small shops selling noodles and rice. The speciality seemed to be the fish balls which had meat wrapped by a big fish ball. After that, we travelled to Long Shan Temple for some blessings.

According to my mum, the predictions from there are pretty accurate. And so each of us went to qiu qian and according to the qian I got, it was referring to my love life, which assured me that my marriage would be good, fulfilling and the first born would be a girl. As for now, patience is advised and I could even have met the person. Oh and also very unfortunately I would have pretty bad social networking and interactions, and ultimately, result in lack of wealth.. That's damn sad.

However, life still as to go on and we visited the quite famous memorial. Honestly I wasn't too concerned about the history and stuff but more of being there and taking some photos to show we've been there.

And I guess the highlight of the day finally came! We walked many many streets to finally find the Din Tai Fung outlet that was nearby.

As a rule for all foodies, always try the food where it originated and we weren't let down in this case. The food was splendid. And I have to give special mention to the service because it was pretty outstanding. They were extremely polite and always ensured they are the ones to end off with a thank you.

Sun Xie Zhi from 5566 promoting some show at XMD.

We went back to the hotel for a short rest before touring travelling to Shi Da Night Market.

DAY 3 - 18 Sep 11 Sun

Lunch at Zhong Xiao area, which is like the higher end shopping district ie. departmental stores.

The day's objective was simple. Shop, shop and shop. Wu Fen Pu, the commerical district that's well known for its cheap and wide variety of clothing. So basically we spent the whole day there and shopped till we drop.

Had snacks for dinner and adjourned to Taipei 101, the observatory tower and also the tallest building in Taipei. Yea if you've been to any similar tower, it's the same. And we weren't too smart to go at night. It was almost pitch black. The theme of the tower is the damper system which has this gigantic spherical structure at the centre of the building for stabilization since it's the tallest building and also tw is prone to earthquakes. Don't quote me on this, I was focusing on taking photos of the Damper Babies, their mascots. Hahaha.

Damper babies.

DAY 4 - 19 Sep 11 Mon

Dan Shui is this quiet place at the end of the MRT line. Pleasant place to just stroll through the streets where they sell food and mostly bags or toys. The main attraction of Dan Shui is the Fisherman's Wharf aka Yu Ren Ma Tou where there's this iconic bridge that lovers always frequent.

Tang Hoon wrapped in Tofu. It's really not bad, very tasty.

Stopped by along the way at Fort San Dominigo which is this museum like place just outside a university.

Walked all the way from Dan Shui Street to the harbour which is really quite far. Please be advised to take the bus if you happen to go.

One of my favourite photos for this trip.

DAY 5 - 20 Sep 11 Tue

Mao Kong isn't Mao3 Kong3 like when i first thought it might be. It's Mao1 Kong1 directly translated to Cat Sky. Mao Kong is situated in the hills next to the Taipei Zoo. There ain't Pandas or Cats but just a cosy lazy countryside hilly area where one is required to take the Gondola aka cable car up the hill.

Had our lunch at the eatery near the station up there and has a small quest to search for the tea plantations.

Ultimately, we had tea but the plantation wasn't opened to public on that day. Took lots of pictures especially against the sunset where there's this small lake with animal statues that mimics a countryside kind of life. There are really 'kampung-like' houses where animals are reared and people just sit in their houses and watch time fly by. With the nice cooling weather, it was an enjoyable trip up to the hills.

Took the train back to the Zhong Xiao area where the big departmental stores are for dinner. Perhaps it's under the influence of the Japanese departmental stores, even their food courts don't look like food courts.

DAY 6 - 21 Sep 11 Wed

Alas, we got kicked out of Xi Men Ding and moved to Jian Tan for the remainder of the trip. Sis had a room at Jian Tan Youth Activity Centre which is something like a hostel yet hotel standard.

Couldn't check in and we decided not to waste time and visited Di Hua Street where it is supposed to be overflowing with dried goods. Went there and bought 80% of NON-dried goods and came back. Oh and this is the part where i have to exclaim i love the Ji Dan Gao. I think it was the third time i bought a packet to munch on at Di Hua.

Trained back to check in before walking to Shih Lin Night Market for a sumptuous snacks dinner!

The famous chicken cutlet, humongous taiwan sausages, pau, squid etc. The chicken cutlet queue was insanely long. But i queued anyhow. I wouldnt say the cutlet's out of this world, it's just a very big piece of chicken cutlet and the drawback is that there's bones in it.

The famous chicken cutlet that got the tourists swarming from the tour bus and queuing. Heard it's coming to sg!

Crossed the road to Shih Lin Shopping District where it's another market selling mainly clothes and shoes. Bought a decent amount of clothing and shoes from there.

DAY 7 - 22 Sep 11 Thu

Hmm, Jiu Fen's an interesting one.

We had to take a railway train from Taipei Che Zhan to Rui Fang Station and take a bus to Jiu Fen which is like a village among the mountains.

The bian tang or lunchbox sold on the railway trains. Cheap and good.

The story of how the name came about is quite interesting. Long long ago, there were nine families who lived in that area. As the roads weren't developed yet, everything had to be shipped to the nearby harbour and a representative sent by the nine families would run down to the harbour to collect the supplies. He would say "Jiu Fen" every time to the sellers meaning Nine Portions for the nine families. And after some time, the area became known as Jiu Fen. As the years go by, someone discovered gold buried underground and more families migrated to exploit the land and eventually the place became more and more commercialized.

It's quite chilly up in the mountains especially when you are in the open. But as the shops are all built adjacent to one another in a long alley, it's quite cosy and nice. And here i am again, emphasizing the driving skills of the drivers, this time bus drivers. The road up to the top is very narrow and buses are travelling non-stop up and down the hill. Manual buses. Along the side of the mountain. One wrong turn or loss of concentration will result in an expressway down the side. Amazing rollercoster ride.

Took the railway train back to Taipei Che Zhan and had dinner above the underground station. The mall's concept's quite interesting. There are different sections of food courts. One section will have maybe 8 stalls selling curry dishes, another section will have 7 stalls selling ramen, another will have 9 stalls selling japanese food. And they'll all have this counter above their shop that counts the number of customers they had for the day. It's like a competition, but i'm not sure how exactly it's carried out. And just happened, that we were craving for some.. beef noodles!!

We tried a couple of stalls and they were equally good. The broth's nice, beef tender, noodles springy. Competition benefits society.

How can you miss karaoke in Taiwan? Cheap and insane quality. It's definitely extremely worth it if you go during weekdays before the sun goes down.

The price list for PartyWorld at Xi Men Ding.

A personal toilet.

I can draw some similarities between some newer Kbox outlets in Singapore compared to Taiwan's PartyWorld. But the disparity is still obvious. The service was top drawer, the facilities new and clean. Only original songs were in the selection list, meaning no pirated, no concerts only original MTVs. And it was only then that i realised i haven't been listening to new Chinese songs. It's a totally different chart list over there. Something special about their k is that instead of forcing you to pay some somewhat rights and cover charge, they make you pay (if i remember correctly) about S$30 to ensure you order anything worth that value in the menu. You have to pay more if you order more, but for that money, some real good food can be consumed. We had herbal chicken, fried chicken wings and wedges while singing at the same time. It's like a five star karaoke experience.

Day 8 - 23 Sep 11 Fri

It was time for some mall shopping and we visited this area which was like a Japanese mall district. There were 3 or 4 major Japanese shopping malls within close proximity of each other. Eg. Takashimaya and Shin something something, Xin Guang Shan Yue in Chinese.

Had lunch at a small restaurant in Xin Guang Shan Yue, and almost an immediate tea session at another tea restaurant.

Shopped at Taka for awhile but the prices weren't appealing. Bought some snacks and drinks from the supermarket and cabbed back to the hotel.

Sis had something on at night and we went to Shih Lin again for another round of shopping. We practically combed the entire night market.

Ji Dan Gao!!!! My new found favourite Taiwan snack.

Some promotion event for another drama serial.

Day 9 - 24 Sep 11 Sat

Last day!! Honestly, i wasn't that sad to leave. Because we kinda ran out of places to go. We actually had time to sit in the hotel to watch tv! But their channels are crazy. Almost 100 channels and it's 50% variety shows and 25% news throughout the day. It's a haven for people who are in love with their shows. I observed they are really very good at talking. They can talk non-stop for one topic and make a big fuss out of small issues. Their news can report things like someone's toilet bowl very dirty, someone fall off a motorbike, someone had a public argument etc etc. However, their shows are really quite entertaining. Those showing here are really just a handful of straws in a haystack.

The entrance of Jian Tan Youth Activity Centre aka our hotel, with the Grand Palace Hotel in the backdrop.

Anyways, on the final day, we went to this promising place called the National Palace Museum. It's like a must go for tourists where it showcases the artifacts that were shipped from China for safekeeping when China went to war. Somehow down the line, Taiwan decided not to return the artifacts and bought most of it and now displayed.

No cameras allowed and this was the only shot outside. I was bored to tears staring at random pieces of antique. That's one place that's a no no for me ever again.

Left the museum in glee in search for lunch at Shih Lin Station. And I finally found the renowned Yong He Dou Jiang Da Wang.

Haha another story. Yong He's a place in Taiwan and there used to be a family living there who started to sell snacks, pastries and of course soya bean milk. There were just trying to make ends meet by setting up a small shop then and for the convenience of the working class, they operated from early in the morning till the wee hours. They were famous for the quality snacks but eventually closed down. Since then, a smart guy started using the name and reputation to create a franchise all across Taiwan. There are many branches all over Taipei.

As recommended, the fan tuan, dan bing and dou jiang. It's quite dry to eat all of those at one go. But the dan bing's not bad. Oh but i prefer the road side cong bing, like roti prata! haha.

Next up and the final destination, Grand Palace Hotel. It's an iconic hotel in Taipei and i don't think i'll ever be able to afford the stay. It's surrounded by a park and it's on a hill with a great view of Taipei.

Day 10 Sun 25 Sep

AND WE LEFT. At least for my mum and me. Sis stayed one more day for competition. We ridiculously booked cab at 3.30am to Tao Yuan Airport when the flight's at 7 plus. Reached at 4am and sat around for 3hours plus before finally boarding.

Window shopped in the transit.

Home sweet home.

Alrighty, here's the round up. I had an eye opener in Taiwan, Taipei. I didn't explore much but their culture in general is different and unique in their own way. Somehow, they are clean in general. Ironically they have very few rubbish bins, you can't find any along the streets, there'll probably be only ONE central big bin in a night market but if you patronise the stalls and shops, their service people will gladly clear the rubbish for you. The Taiwanese will hold their rubbish in the pockets, bags and clear at the MRT stations or when they see a bin.

Speaking of bins, Taiwan has a very very distinct toilet culture. In every toilet cubicle, there will be a bin. It ain't for making up for the small numbers in public, but to contain only one type of rubbish - toilet paper. You don't flush the toilet paper when you are done using it. You throw it into the bin. Yes, the one with the brown stuff on it. And not all bins come with a cover and not all bins are cleared promptly. Imagine. And that explains why the toilet can look so clean but smell extraordinarily. Before you say ewwww, the explanation for this practice is that the sewage system cannot support the tough fibrous tissue especially when it's soaked up with water. If you are a good tourist, you'll follow that practice. If not, you know when some day the sewage plant explodes, or toilet bowls start overflowing in Taiwan, i played a part. hahaha. (Come to think of it, maybe they really ran out of bins to put on the streets because all of them are in the toilets.)

The people there. Generally, the handphone culture ain't that advanced. People are still using non-colour phones, but most are using the nokia/ sony ericsson candy phones. You hardly see any blackberries or iphones. At least for the average dude on the street, not sure about the business class.

The young guys are mostly thin, despite the night market snack culture. Thin as in skinny. They do not have much emphasis on physical fitness in schools compared to sg. But definitely, basketball's the more hip sport there. The older guys are still generally thin with signs of typical male aging ie beer belly etc. I don't see many elderly dudes around in the streets. Perhaps it's Taipei.

The young girls are generally pretty. They love makeup, perhaps due to the influence of Japanese trends, they doll up when going up and look good but sometimes overdressed in my perspective. Like all girls in developing or developed countries now, they are obsessed with eye make up or just to make their eyes look gigantic. Having said that, even without make up, the school girls look pretty in general. They have this distinctive Taiwanese look which i believe, compared to Singaporeans who have this kinda failed hybrid look, are more visually appealing especially with sharper features and better skin. And also, 95% of the girls have long hair. Maybe there's a taboo regarding short hair? The women look good for their age especially the working class. And the 'aunties' are nice maciks, who seem to be the type that will take care of you.

I didn't notice carefully but there's an active smoking culture in Taiwan. There seems to be more smokers and i was kinda immune to the second hand smoke during my short stay.

Service standards as mentioned above are sky high. Almost every shop you enter, the sales girls would shout out "Huan Ying Guang Ling!!!" and they will have this trademark phrase if you are in a clothes or shoe shop. It goes something like this "man man kan wo, xi huan de hua ke yi na qi lai kan wo! ke yi shi chuan wo!" They will speak so fast, and in the high pitch sa jiao voice over and over again. Very passionate. Usually the street stalls won't let you try on, but the bigger shops allow. Instead of the lahs and lors, they have their version of wo, ma and the cutesy interjections. It's pleasingly sweet, but your hair will stand after hearing it non-stop.

Lastly, and perhaps the most important take away point. My Chinese definitely improved. After speaking mandarin for 10 days, i had the best oral preparation in my entire life. Visiting Taiwan just before your Chinese oral will definitely help you leaps and bounds. I was stunned to see how ugly my chinese characters were after writing some information for the receptionist. That shows how much i've been using my mother tongue.

I've put in lots of effort into typing this post, especially uploading the stubborn photos. But it's all worth it, for a place so pleasant and so missed. It's definitely somewhere I can live, with the seasons, with the culture (less toilet), and the entertainment! It's only Taipei but i've thoroughly enjoyed Taiwan. Will definitely be back to explore the rest!

extraordinary

2011-11-16T03:06:00.000+08:00

This guy's got some real courage and talent. Check it out!

He deserves something seriously. All the best dude!

tech spoof

2011-11-15T01:34:00.004+08:00

I happened to be browsing through some blogs, some defunct, some active, some totally gone.

I read through the old posts, the tags and I was kinda puzzled. Were we really like that 2, 3 years ago? Or rather, who's who? Is the person's character and personality really as portrayed in the post?

Or am I to believe what I see now? Or perhaps it's true, people change. And quite drastically too.

Maybe it's just me, but I think many things can be deduced from one's blog. From the maintenance, the type of entries, and especially something which I for once have an opinion- the number of blogs. The frequency the user changes his or her blog.

Yea, maybe it's just me. But to me, a blog is like a record book. You don't just keep changing record books unless for a good reason. It's something to refer to in future and by closing one down, it's as good as destroying a hard disk of memory. Yea I wouldn't rule out the many possible reasons for changing or closing blogs. But I believe when you start something like this, don't just end it with no apparent reason. The lack of time has often been the excuse. It's acceptable and I use it sometimes too but it's admirable to see people who actually set aside time daily to do a personal reflection. The discipline, the willpower, the character is truly respectable.

With the everchanging technological scene, it is very easy for something to be a hit one day and a miss the next. Take iphone as an example. I remember the craze when iphone 1 came out. The craze was even more intense with 2 and then 3. You will hardly find anyone using an iphone 1 anymore. The turnover rate is insanely high. It just promotes wastage and encourages desire and greed. And that is why I admire a down to earth, practical, disciplined person who will standby his values. I'm not discouraging advancement and improvement. One can always stay current by not being directly involved in the unnecessary craze. You don't have to be a user to advance.

However, if you do become one, don't jump ship so quickly. Or abandon ship. Look at msn messenger, does anyone still log in regularly? It used to be the first thing everyone would do when the computer is switched on. People complained how artificial the interaction was but I think it's so much more personal and useful than facebook messenger. The emo-icons, remember the games?, the file sharing and even video conferencing. People spent hours on it. My record was more than 12 hours. And now, a hi bye on fb usually doesn't last an hour. I don't know, the feel just isn't there.

Anyway, my point here isn't to discredit fb, but to put up a reminder: like the first generation bots in i-robot, PERHAPS, the older generation deserve more of our time. And perhaps they served only a good cause, unlike a superficial unnecessary new generation of products which encourages more undesirable values.

around a ball, before a screen

2011-11-12T01:35:00.002+08:00

Oh look! The pigs are flying! The sun's rising from the west! And the cows finally came home!

And yes, the rare pokemon's here to update this space.

Honestly speaking, I haven't done anything productive for the past 2 weeks. I've spent more time organising cages and matches than anything else. Having said that, spent quite a bit of time analysing the beautiful game as well. Weekend nights are usually spent on the couch at home watching 22 men chasing a ball. Ok, in short my weekdays were spent preparing for soccer while my weekends are just soccer. To sum it up, my life is back revolving around a ball.

Perhaps not. Watched quite a handful of movies too. Footloose, Paranormal Activity 3 and The Ides of March. And on mio, Mars Needs Moms, Ip Man 2 (again) and Take Me Home Tonight. Hmm could have missed out a few others but whatever.

Footloose. Was expecting more from it. It was more plot telling than action dancing. Step Up's probably better in my opinion.

My immediate thoughts on PA3 was that it was hilarious. The moment I stepped out of the theatre, I couldn't stop laughing. Cheap thrill. Gotta admit was given a shock a couple of times throughout but that's it. Maybe I haven't been watching too many horror films to appreciate this one. It is actually quite well filmed compared to those chinese ghost flicks. The scaremeter is more of sudden movements and loud sounds which is different from the bloody and gruesome scenes of similar genre screenings. Haha but if you can't get the images out of your mind after the movie, then good luck to you at night when the lights are gone.

Ides of March started off slow. It's about what goes behind the scenes in American politics. The main concept is interesting, the script well written, actors delivered smooth. However, I don't think it's worth focussing the entire film on one idea. It isn't as fun watching a guy solve a 3x3 rubik's cube compared to one solving 10x10.

Mars Needs Moms just taught me to love my mom even more. A kids show, period.

Ok enough of movie reviews. Been watching local drama serials too. It sucks because when you start on one, you gotta end it and find out what happens.

Hmm what else? Rotting at home I guess. Feeling tired by doing nothing. Alright, better do something useful now. Till then!

for the first time

2011-10-27T01:36:00.002+08:00

This has gotta be one of the best covers on youtube, together with their cover for just the way you are. It's addictive.

Life has been great. Can't ask for more. Ok technically I can but I'm someone who's very easily contented. And just being at home or spending time with my family is good enough. Spent a couple of days out in town with my mum, having a good lunch and a walkabout when the malls are empty. The carefree days somehow looms. Haha. What a bad way to put it.

I realised I 'wasted' a lot of time on the couch watching everything that pops out on the black screen. From local drama serials to taiwanese variety programmes (oh crap how I miss taiwan) to encore matches to the very well produced xfactor usa and even news. And just when you are about to label me as a pig, ah, I moved my limbs at the gym too.

To make things even better, had a brilliant cage session at punggol today. 3hrs was da bomb. Ok maybe I had more fun because my team was in it most of the time, but I think I matched up well in terms of fitness and performance. Played well and made a new friend. Good day.

Speaking of friends, I really enjoy the company of this dear friend who has fought with me from bmt through ocs and now unit. Somehow we are always on the same wavelength and our conversations always end up with some random witty conclusion or a raised eyebrow. Spent 3 good nights ranging from a coffee shop, starbucks and mcdonald's with him just talking nonsense. Sometimes we engage in some really intellectual discussion which I'm really grateful for the enlightenment that would result. And infamously, we are the longstanding exco members of the lonely hearts club which has the ultimate objective of having zero members in the end. Such a self sacrificial club. Hahaha. Nice one raven warrior.

Oh and I watched Real Steel last fri. That was hellavu movie. Great stuff. There was so much meaning behind each scene. So many lessons to learn, so many values we can pick up. It's the real deal.

Speaking of movies, watched Source Code on the plane to taiwan and it was a master stroke of genius. I was very very tempted to give 5 stars, but the medium in which I was watching probably killed it. Haha.

In short, the past week has been absolutely outstanding. I might not have touched the books, but I wouldn't say I have 'wasted' the week away because I thoroughly enjoyed and learnt through whatever unconventional methods there might be.

the lazy song

2011-10-16T21:37:00.003+08:00

Hi all. I'm here to confess I'm just too lazy to blog.

Life has been interestingly weird for the past 3 weeks ever since I returned from Taiwan. Yea I went for a week of hols with my mum and sis for a timely getaway. But since I came back, life hasn't been that peaceful. My poor phone has been ringing and vibrating non-stop and poor me will always be in a dilemma whether to answer. It isn't that I don't want to heed a SOS call, but people must really learn to survive without me. Soon, I wouldn't even be around to help and what would they do? I'm really sick and tired of how this whole thing turned out. The demands are crazy. And it isn't about the organisation, but the people, especially the management. It's extremely unsustainable. But that's it, I'm leaving my legacy. Call me mister.

As usual, I will have my long long post holiday blogpost but it's still under construction. When you have to do such a thing on your smartphone when you are sitting in the bus or train then you know you are either insanely busy or just too lazy to switch on the desktop. Ok, I'm both.

But seriously, the past 3 weeks have really made me hate my phone. Especially when a call comes in. It has reached a stage that even when close friends call, I will hesistate to answer. My smses will usually be 3 hours late and one sentence long. For those who are abstaining from contacting me it's a good choice, because all I want to do now is lie in bed and do nothing or at least do my own stuff like studying.

Despite this strange behaviour of mine now, I know I will want to start hanging out soon. Everyone has been wanting a piece of me, but soon I will want a piece of everyone. Ok not everyone, but those that I see a purpose and meaning in spending time with.

Yea maybe you.

this I promise you

2011-09-15T22:57:00.002+08:00

Post dated sunday.

I'm smiling now because I had a brilliant day.

As usual, I began the sunday with the routine family time at civil service club and had a pretty intense yet slack workout. I didn't feel that I put in much but I still felt satisfied and tired. That was followed with a nice lunch at a coffeeshop nearby. Everything just fell in nicely, the weather was great, with a cool breeze and the ambience was comfortable. With the chinese pop music quietly thumping in the background and the cosy and homely feeling the coffeeshop provided, together with good dimsum, a soft boiled egg and tehpeng, it gave the resort-sy yet singaporean feel.

I went home, packed up and carried my bookin stuff to bugis. There I met my brudder reuben and a familiar face. Yea, a familiar face, but unrecognisable torso. I knew it was belmond but I was shocked to see how much he has changed. My jaw literally dropped. He lost an astounding 67kg since the last time I saw him. That was the end of last year. I shallnt elaborate on the details but will just comment that he is really blessed.

Visited this coffeeshop that literally means coffee shop as it sells only freshly brewed coffee. The design and concept of the shop is really unique. It is quite a small shophouse and had tables and chairs at random locations. Their payment concept is comparable to a religious outfit. Ok how it works is that you order the coffee, they find a seat or if you can diy even better, they deliver, you drink, and you decide whether you want to or how much cash you want to drop into the container at the door. The coffee aint that great but you can taste the freshness of the beans and the sincerity of the one making it. They really put in much effort in brewing their coffee.

Next up was to marina square where we watched Suck Seed. I'll give it 4 stars. Funny yet sweet at the same time. There were times in the movie when I really felt connected. I mean you don't get the type of feeling when you watch movies like captain america, or even the last harry potter installment. These are the scenes where you don't even have the time to go awww because it isn't cheesy or deliberately included to have that effect. It's down to the acting and chemistry of the cast. Or perhaps, the intent was to connect with viewers of similar sentiments or experiences. In that case they succeeded as I believe any teenager or post adolescent being would have gone through some sort of relationship complications or issues.

Whatever it is, it is a good movie.

I was at total ease with the company I had, and I'm glad and grateful for that. I don't think anyone else got the opportunity to see that because somehow the personalities within various groups doesn't balance out. Sometimes it's just so fake, forcing out a conversation, or having a one-sided conversation where questions only come from one party, or being totally uncomfortable and awkward. I believe a group would achieve the ultimate balance and understanding when everyone can feel comfortable with silence. Of course, there must be words flowing, but when it's time to shut up, there are no qualms.

Despite saying all that, I wouldn't want people to change how they are when around me. Every relationship should always be special and unique in its own way. I appreciate that fact.

After the movie, we went for a quick bite and decided to walkabout at esplanade where we chanced upon the moonfest performances. The night was particularly beautiful despite the slight haze. A clear melodious voice piercing the nightsky, with the distinct city skyline as a backdrop and the ceaseless breeze in my face, I realised what I've been missing by staying in camp and home all day long. Or maybe I'm just lacking someone to share these with.

Taiwan coming up on friday! Finally a real break. Till then, ciao!

rights

2011-09-04T17:21:00.000+08:00

I'm really disappointed with how things have turned out. Disappointed with the so-called 'management', the supposed wiser leaders. Even for someone I used to hold high regard for, the true colours couldn't hide ultimately.

Somehow, I felt like a domestic worker for the past 2 weeks. Only worse. It's really crazy. For the first time in my life, every minute was fully utilized. In 24hours, 2 x 10min meals, or even optional, 20min spent in the loo, 3hours sleep, the rest work. That equates to approximately 20hours of solid work time a day, consecutive for approx 2 weeks. No weekends. No breaks. Just a slave.

Of course, inevitably the black hawk went down. The bugs attacked. I shouted mayday but still kept working. Until I decided I needed a break and took one day off stating mc, but all I did was sleep for one whole day. The flu subsided, the throat soothed, the fever cooled. I was kinda proud of myself though, for I actually recovered fully in 2 days with the help of only 2 flu pills.

The purpose of this post isn't about how I fell sick and recovered. It is about the reason why I fell sick. I've learnt so much how people give an organisation its shape. I've learnt the importance of good leadership, imposing strong and robust internal systems, a solid foundation. I've learnt how the quality of the manpower can make such a difference and how different education backgrounds affect the standard. I've learnt that respect is earned and not given. I've learnt that there's a bigger world out there for me to explore. I've learnt that I hate the combination of incompetence, stubbornness and authoritativeness, because it's the perfect composition for doomsday. I've learnt that there are easy yet stupid methods to earn your pay, and difficult yet brilliant and constructive methods for the same target. I choose the latter.

I realised the importance of freedom and the right to choose what you want to do every single day. It isn't about politics, it's just plain basic human rights.

Haven't been really replying msges and bothered with social life thanks to the past 2 and coming week. But like I said, it's like an exam and it's ending soon. Real soon.

you take the left, I take the right

2011-08-27T00:47:00.003+08:00

"Each year China graduates seven million English speaking students from its universities"

How scary is that?
Do you feel threatened?

I think that's the reason why the world ends in 2012.

Anyway, I just can't wait for these 2 weeks to be over. It's like the crazy exam period in school. Where you stay up late to cram stuff into your head and in the end still go into the exam hall light-headed. And the best part, you screw up. Tada!

Had a pretty good break after a crazy week in camp. You see everyone running around rushing to get things done in the day, and by night, they are still rushing albeit at a slower rate, and by 3am, you see zombies along the corridors. And after a few hours of sleep, they start all over again. Seriously, it's like the game pac man. The circular thing goes around eating all the food, and he goes round and round with a snapping aligator mouth. Ah whatever, it's just chaotic and sometimes I wonder what the hell are they doing this for? A BIG SIGH.

Like now, I can't sleep because my clock has been reset to bed time at 3 and reveile at 8 and wake up to a mess, have a takeaway breakfast at 10, lunch at 4, dinner at 10. Or something like that.

I need a life, a normal one please.

first time

2011-08-14T22:46:00.000+08:00

Had an eventful week as usual.

Even though I always complain about how busy I am week in week out, I realised I kinda like my job. Compared to other roles people are taking up, I have a pretty special role that no one would have the chance to experience in these 2 years, and probably 30 years.

Anyway, had a good saturday with the 5. Finally managed to squeeze everyone into a date. Despite some glitches, overall, it was still an enjoyable session. And yes, we need a new system to facilitate the small details.

It was yong pin's 20th birthday and I was reminded again of the big two zero. We have all come a long way.

I was reminded of all the small steps and first times I had that built up to today.

The first time I was left alone at a shopping centre and got lost.
The first time I was alone with strangers in a classroom.
The first time I danced with a girl.
The first time I spent the first cent and bought my own food.
The first ever friend I made.
The first time I was entrusted with the house key.
The first time I walked home myself.
The first time I took public transport alone.
The first time I reached home past midnight.
The first time I had a crush.
The first time I ran a race.
The first time I scored a goal.
The first time I failed an exam.
The first time I topped the class.
The first time I attended a camp.
The first time I went out of the country with friends.
The first time I was looked up to.
The first time I wore a tie.
The first time I sprained my ankle.
The first time I shot a bullet.
The first time I threw a grenade.
The first time I was thrown into a jungle alone.
The first time I got a job and got paid.
The first time I drove a car.
The first time I drove alone.
The first time I was saluted.
The first time I punished my men.
And the list goes on.

Many many more first times and many more to come. It's pretty interesting how things have turned out after these baby steps, and to see how things will turn out in a few years to come.

skyscraper

2011-08-07T18:59:00.004+08:00

ok here it goes.

i am simply too lazy to come to this page, log in and type.

yea but somehow i ended up here.

anyways, been watching movies, new ones, old ones, good ones, bad ones. managed to catch bridesmaids (most of it i believe, despite being late for a record breaking 40 min). it was a hallmark of an excellent movie. a good script, plot and cast was sufficient. it's interesting to watch especially for clueless males as it offers an insight to women's greatest insecurities and thoughts which often results in illogical actions. hahaha. it's true. anyway, shallnt disclose any spoilers for those who havent watched.

captain america was crap. come on, i know it's base on a comic, but the depiction is way too far fetched. certain stuff were way too ridiculous. 1941, a supersonic jet? or laser guns? we don't even have such guns in the present. i was only glad that i watched it on a weekday with a $6.50 entrance tic and a discounted popcorn combo.

127hours, i really have no idea what to say. let's say, brilliantly acted and directed? everything seems so real. it showcased the true will and determination of a man fighting for his own survival. to what extent would one go to for passion and survival. the thoughts of a dying man. the ability to improvise. the wonders of the human mind. and the priorities in life. simply fantastic.

ok i shallnt rate the old movies i watched, because it's time for dinner soon.(stomach growling heh)

it has been a pretty hectic week, rushing out reports, printing them on agonizingly slow desktops and screwed up formatting. yea, experienced unnecessary stress and irritation.

however, a weekend that included a marche dinner, good kickabout session at cage and family sunday just about defined a good work life balance.

tonight

2011-07-24T22:09:00.000+08:00

Hello one and all.

I think this is becoming a norm. To be blogging on a long trip home. Had a good hawker dinner at Bukit Timah with the guys after a disappointing cage session. Had a below par performance due to an ingenious idea to wake up early and go for a swim with the family. It wasn't that intense but I guess whenever it comes to sports, I can't control how much I exert because it's just me to always let it all out and conserve none. So, I used up somewhat most of my ATP and hence less energy!

Anyway, I can't really remember what I was busy with such that I had no time to post. However, I do remember that I was on duty, caught a HP7 movie, went for the sunday routine and that's about it and booked in all over again. It was a pretty interesting week, with an array of activities happening. From being able to go to places never been before, to firing rounds, to sitting in the office. The week seemed extended but at least the routine was broken and everyday was made less mundane.

I kinda like the sat that just passed. I attended my sister's PTM and the feeling of returning to a sort of alma mater is kinda comforting. Things have changed yet every location will bring back those precious moments. PAE was a good time. Never had a better work life balance in my life. And after that, we went furniture hunting! I still remember about 10 years ago, when we first moved house, we were so excited to go try the display sets of beds, sofas, and just running around the shop and giving the kiddish two cents worth as to which furniture to buy. As for now, we are just looking to replace the worn out sofa set.

That was followed by an interesting road trip to a really nice place with a nice view for dinner. The only drawback is that only a car can take you there. Nevertheless, it's a potential spot.

Alrighty, shall end here. I think my posts are getting more boring but whatever. That's life now. And perhaps life for many years to come, sadly.

a good week

2011-07-10T22:38:00.000+08:00

Alrighty, time to utilize time. On the train back home.

Hmm I'm pretty happy this week, despite having to go back to camp for duty on a friday when the whole unit's having a stand down. I was elated winning the soccer match during the games day, contributing significantly to the team. However, I believe I could have played better and should have prevented the 2nd goal we conceded. I should have anticipated that my centreback would miss the cross and should have reacted better to head it away. Damn. Anyway what's important is that we did our part, won the match and scored points for the overall victory.

To build onto that satisfaction, I had a halfday and went home for a great afternoon nap. Haven't had one for a long time. Moreover, I managed to log onto msn messenger and had a really interesting conversation. Good for you.

As mentioned, booked in for duty on fri, booked out on sat morning and had a good breakfast talk with my mum again. Basically spent my sat slacking away.

Sun, cage in the afternoon followed lan with the usual dudes and a splendid dinner at sizzler's suntec. Bumped into diana ho along the way, small world indeed. It's been awhile since we all had the time to sit down on the same table and talked, rubbish topics or ns topics, it was a jolly good time. Especially with the big ass joker around, it was pure fun. Sadly now, I'll be booking in and looking forward only to another friday duty and a mountain of work to clear. It has been a good week, and a good day today because for once, I walk into the open without breaking a sweat! Great weather today.

wish you were here

2011-07-03T15:44:00.003+08:00

It has been a pretty interesting week.

For the first time this year, i walked into my bunk having nothing to do. The feeling was really good. I guess that's the reason why i would want a job that starts at 9 and ends at 5. Sharp. I really like the idea of working hard in the day and just letting loose for the rest of the evening. But life ain't like that, and it's gonna be another hectic 6 months all over again starting next week.

I spent my closing week listening to people and somehow really enjoyed the process. It's interesting to hear about others' thoughts and happenings. I may have a boring life but by listening to such stories, it's as if i have been through such things myself.

The weekend was brilliant. And the best part is that it hasn't ended yet. Technically, the weekend IS brilliant.

laisse-faire

2011-06-27T00:41:00.002+08:00

Hello one and all. I promised myself I would post something today, so here I am.

The previous post isn't a good post to leave as the latest post. I had another read recently and I questioned myself, did I really feel so shitty for that week? I mean how bad can life be right? It's amazing how different I feel right now as compared to 2 weeks ago. Call it quick to bounce back from tough times, or just can't be bothered to be affected, I have no idea how i managed to overcome that period.

Looking back, yea again, lessons learnt. Ok but enough of that week. It has passed, and I was fighting more fire the following week. As usual. Ok to put it in proper simple English, it is handling or seeing to urgent impromptu stuff that suddenly pops out of nowhere. And these crap usually attack big.

Anyway, apart from those forest fires, I practically reverted back to a full time student for the week. It's scary, the familiar stress and tension studying and facing examinations. It isn't easy being a student and it isn't easy working either. Life sucks man. Haha.

After all the shit that happened, I finally sat back, rested and had a great Sunday with my family. Dimsum brunch at the old Fortunate Restaurant at Toa Payoh, now named swatow or something. And followed by grocery shopping at Giant, a good swim and a great dinner at Civil Service Club Changi. Somehow the conversations were simple and stress free, talking about everything under the sun, laughing at the lousiest of jokes. Great time.

My mum described me when I was a baby and it was quite amusing. She said I was really just a chubby fat baby who would grab a bottle of juice, shut up, lie down and drink in the cot. With my legs dangling out, occasionally making small kicks and basically just taking life easy, relaxing. Hahah I guess it's really in-built into my DNA. I see no point in being bothered, being uptight about small little things for a long time. Even if it's a major thing, I would try to settle as calmly as possible and move on. My mum said I was really different from other kids who would run around, scream and cry for no apparent reason. I and my sisters would just hold hands, walk down the street and people watch. Just observe silently and ask politely when necessary. Is that even possible? I have no idea why we were and are like that! How can we be born obedient and mature? It's seriously scary! Haha but that's me I guess.

Aha, watched lion city cup and was totally impressed and inspired by the kids. They got my legs itchy all over again. Meanwhile, it's time to sleep! Dead tired.

Have a great week ahead! (I definitely would!)

Always look on the bright side of life. :D
(Lol that's coming from me, wow. Hahaha!)

happy birthday to me

2011-06-12T01:49:00.004+08:00

I probably had the worst birthday of my life.

I just feel so miserable. So much for gritting teeth, fighting on with perseverance and determination. All the talk of enduring through the toughest times, it might be all bullshit afterall. Yes it's true, I'm still hanging on, putting up a straight face even though I really feel like breaking down, hide in some corner and just run away from this world. I can't even hide how drained I am. So tired and stressed out.

I just feel so helpless. All the talk about being independent and facing shit myself. Yea facing shit myself is true, I won't drag anyone down with me. I won't even breathe a word. But I'm feeling equally shitty. The pillar is cracking, falling apart and about to collapse. I am looking around, looking for someone to talk to, someone I can confide in, someone who can be my very own pillar of strength when I need a boost. I feel so lonely. A couple of my bros gave me some encouragement. But i realised there's someone who I would want to talk to at this point of time. I don't know why but it's just this feeling. Having said that, I really can't think of anyone who can fully connect with me. Or is it this thing called ego that's stopping me? Or is it truly independence? I have no idea.

And I think they finally realised how I am feeling. They probably noticed the blankness in my gaze and my world of black and white. The weariness of my face and the frequent daydreaming. In case you are wondering if I am sick or crazy I can assure you I'm not. But at the rate I'm working I probably will.

My wish came true. The first time came and hell I learnt so much. If you are a regular here, you might be sick of reading my lessons learnt everyday. This experience will be engraved in my mind for life. It's painful, but I just want it resolved. Sometimes, there are more important things in life. And someone reminded me,that life is well, the most important thing in life. Something even worse could have happenbed but it didn't and I should be thankful.

And thankful I am. For I had a 20th birthday I will never forget.

The build up to 11 june was unbelievable. I wondered why my usual bo chup self was so easily affected. I was truly demoralised. Upon having the chance to have a glimpse of what happens out of my own cubicle, my morale just hit rock bottom. Whatever I said about life being unfair and to suck it up became an irony. Something struck me. Seriously, why am I working so damn hard when everyone else who's involved just don't give a shit. Why am I covering up for people? Why did I work so hard for? What ever happened to the ultimate goal of being among the top, the privileges, the honour, prestige and authority? What's gold on your shoulders when you are no difference from anyone else apart from being a stupid capable workhorse who others sometimes come by to exchange a hypocritical word of respect or to seek help? What happened to all the promises, hopes and expectations?

I slumped back into my office chair and just sat there not wanting to do anything. And when I finally opened my inbox, I read an email from a colleague that was a direct attack on me. I was extremely offended. Accusation from someone who does NOTHING. However, I just took a deep breath and ended it just there. Some people are just two faced hypocrites and I can't do anything about it. And so be it. Ultimately, if they don't change for the better, they are the ones to suffer.

Ok mood's kinda better and shall end here to do some thing productive.

somehow

2011-06-10T23:55:00.000+08:00

You'll Never Walk Alone.

dying flame

2011-06-04T20:01:00.003+08:00

i'm pretty drained this week. it's the type of week when you wake up every single day tired all over again. even with an attempted 10 hour sleep, it wasnt enough for compensation.

sometimes i wonder, why are we so hyped up about what others think of you. what would they judge when you do certain things. why should we bother? i have a simple stand on this. just do anything to the best of you ability, do it your way, do it with style or do it with no nonsense. they can think what they want, but i still live my life. there's no point trying to change their minds when they don't see how things are presenting themselves. they have their opinion, so be it. everyone's entitled to one, don't bother.

the other day, we were all called up for a 'feedback' session. when asked for honest feedback, those who complained day in day out just kept their mouths shut. none had the balls to say it. instead, they came up with lame distractors that just caused more story telling and rebuttal. i had no complains, because i know what i am here for. i know life's never fair, some do more, some do less but we get the same rewards. i know we are doing jobs that it is impossible to find willing and capable people to do, but someone has to do the job, for now. it isnt that long, so just grind your teeth and bite your tongue or swallow it if need be, suck it up and just do it.

on a happier note, i had a timely reminder from that feedback session. short term goals. they do wonders. had a great time on thursday, and spent time with family on friday. it is ok to let loose and be a retard once in a while, because sometimes, life's just worth it. however, i think this shouldnt be a norm and regular pastime. we should find alternatives, and perhaps, healthier ones. afterall, someone will always be left out and that's inequity.

hardly a soul out there knows my one and only fear. yet, i almost encountered it that day. however, that same day, i learnt how strong the mind is. it breaks your physical limits. i knew i had to hold out and hell i held on. i did everything i had to do before i know it's safe to let go. call it kiasi or scaredy cat, but it's more of responsibility. when you know you are the pillar, or when you know you have a duty to fulfill, you cant just let go. hahah i guess i'll make a pretty good lingering spirit always having unfulfilled tasks.

watched kungfu panda 2 with mum and sis. it wasnt good in my opinion, but $30 was worth it to exchange for some good laughters from my dear mum. i went for a run the other day and realised my stamina was back to ground zero after just 1 week of no exercise. it's demoralising.

today, i went in the direction of a SOS flare and wasted my whole saturday. sji sports fiesta or carnival wasnt that good. at least for me. lack of playing time, played badly, horrifying mud pitch, untimely downpour, team disqualified and more importantly, the whole day gone. went for a quick lunch at mos and reached home at 5 only to spend almost 2 hours washing my mud filled clothes. 10 minutes on the pitch, 2 hours in the toilet.

ok i shall end here, gotta study and SLEEP. when i can.

i sound like a retard

2011-05-28T23:38:00.004+08:00

i've been kinda carefree and exceptionally easy going for the past 2 weeks. just letting the free spirited side of me overtake my sanity. i've learnt to take it easy, easier than normal. perhaps it's true, the flame is dying. burnout. music's been influential of my mood.

ok cut the crap. i wouldnt be here if i havent had anything to say. yes, i played a match last week, and we lost. there were some issues raised. and it seems to be in the forward direction. even though it relies heavily on me again to make things happen, i'm taking a step back and let others contribute more. haha maybe it's the trend of stepping down to distribute the power and rights to the next generation, and only step in when needed. it's kinda weird, coz everyone's a leader, but a leader in different fields. but it's good everyone knows when to step up when needed.

i just read an interesting post, and it finally fed me with the reason and explanation for the sudden change in behaviour. it might not be sudden, but drastic enough for me to notice. i was thinking of it for a period of time, but i couldnt deduce and conclude i was spot on. i totally understand the feeling, but i can't do anything to help, only to make myself sound stupid and pretend i didnt know.

ok i think that's enough, it's movie time.

weird

2011-05-17T18:31:00.002+08:00

Hi all. I'm finally forcing myself to type something here. I've been too lazy to do so. There has been quite a number of things I wanted to blog about, but just too lazy to switch on the com, and type. And great, I'm doing it on a bb again.

Anyway, life's been weird. I have no idea what kind of lifestyle I'm leading. I've been eating like a glutton for the past 2 weeks. Zhi char which always came with crabs, hell lot of them, a Carousel buffet, which adds on to my snaking list of conquered hotel buffets, chinese restaurants for meals and weird timings or people call them brunch and high tea, a return to Outback Steakhouse after probably a decade of absteinance and many more. And I have to declare I didn't have much output, but yet I remain hovering between 64 and 65.

And now, I'm training up for a crunch tie, a comeback to field soccer this weekend. The sore muscles and the feeling of puking after pushing hard for a mad run reminded me of good old days.

Then there's the guitar making a comeback. Suddenly realised I've been playing instrumental since we stopped jamming. No lyrics. So music started to come with word for me.

Despite all these, I'm slotting in studying whenever I feel like and have the time. And not to forget, the countless duties I have.

The feeling is just weird. I've been juggling so much, but I don't really feel stressed up at the moment. Perhaps it's the long weekends and the good company ie. Family and friends that make life so much easier.

Yesterday I had another weird dream. It's those type that just pops out of nowhere. I have no idea why would someone just appear in my unconcious thought process when I haven't even been thinking of the person. It's just weird.

happy

2011-05-02T22:48:00.000+08:00

All I can say is, it was a fantastic long weekend. Period.

purple light

2011-04-23T00:42:00.003+08:00

As i was lying in bed in camp, trying to sleep off the medicine effects, I heard some familiar tunes, ringing from the first level. Army songs.

They may not be songs on the billboards, or songs that we sing any other day. But they are songs they unite and give strength. Every other singaporean man knows the lyrics, and they sing in harmony.

However, there's this particular song that's a prequel to the traditional Purple Light, and it goes like this:

I ask my girl,
To take a walk,
To take a walk,
Down Orchard Road,
Bypass Mandarin,
To Centrepoint,
Where we had lunch,
At McDonald's.

We had fillet,
And apple pie,
We shared a cup,
Of lemon lime,
Holding to her hands,
Looking to her eyes,
I asked my girl,
To be my Valentine.

There was one night,
There was no light,
There was no light,
So we used torchlight,
Torchlight not bright,
So we used moonlight,
Moonlight not bright,
So we used Purple Light.

And Purple Light will begin. It's my favourite army song. Whenever we go on route marches, when the going gets tough, the bagpack weighing down on your shoulders, sweat soaked through your vest and pouring down your face. Your legs feel sore, the blisters bite, the abrasions sting, and you are panting with every step. You feel like giving up, then someone starts the song. And we all sing along.

My mind forgets about the pain, and I visualize exactly as what the lyrics say. My Sergeant used to say, it's a very sad song, especially for bachelors. Haha. Yea it's true, especially when we first enlisted and 14 Feb was just a week later. The lyrics might just be words, but they probably helped thousands of guys to push through those tough times..

falling

2011-04-16T15:10:00.000+08:00

sick.

again.

and again.

screwed up

2011-04-08T23:18:00.000+08:00

And yes I'm blogging on my bb once more. I'm not crazy. I just want to note down my exact thoughts and feelings at this moment.

In short, I've never had such strong negative feelings for a long long while. I'm extremely furious. I'm just puzzled and shocked how some incompetent idiots can rise up to the top when they know nothing. When they make the wrong decisions ALL the time. When they are meant to be treated as trash.

You. Lemme tell you, I rather hug and tell the auntie who cleans the entire block how much I respect her and appreciate the things that she does day in day out quietly than to freaking strike a conversation with you.

You have lost ALL respect I have of you previously, even though it hardly existed in the first place.

Every single day, I do to the best of my ability to do my job, learn new stuff, help others whenever I can, DO THE RIGHT THING. Tirelessly, I slog, I work overtime, I compromise my personal time even when everyone else has gone home, to put in the best quality work. To change things, make the wrong things right. Organised the entire department. Learnt every single shit on my own, the hard way, from scratch.

Never I thought of receiving recognition or fame. I just wanted to do my stuff nicely, be of service, and just remain free from the limelight be it for the good or bad. Serve and get lost. Simple as that.

But, instead of you retards up there coming to say,"hey thank you, I really appreciate what you've done to make my job so much easier. " Or just shut up and let me live in peace. YOU come and dig for me and try to find fault in what I do. And is on the verge of heavily punishing me when I did NOTHING WRONG. When some other guy is the one who made the BIG mistake, but I get punished BIG TIME. Get your frigging facts right. And use your brain. Ok wait, did you even have one to begin with? Seriously, do you even have any IQ or EQ at all? Just leeching and thriving on others.

Please, go to the ground. Look around. See who are the ones working so hard, for you. Just be aware, who are those, just sitting around doing nothing. You don't have to punish the bad guys, but please, don't kill the good guys.

bb

2011-04-03T03:35:00.005+08:00

Ok, this is interesting. I'm blogging on my bb and at this unearthly hour! Anyways, I'm really loving this phone. My life's just been made easier and more organised. Every thing that appears in my mind for a split second will be recorded. Just hearing some interesting lyrics, or random passing thoughts, I just type it down. In a way, I become more efficient, complete more, and not get frustrated over forgetting minor things.

Anyway, as I was walking to the mrt station today,I was extremely amused to see a chinese family - father, mother, son, daughter and aunty (I assume), crowding around a bin, smoking!!! I couldn't stop staring as I walked pass. The sighting was rare yet eye opening.

Which leads me to another point about ns. Yes the same old boring topic all girls are just sick of now. Last week, when I was in Cathay, I saw 2 botaks walking pass, both very dynamic, animated and engrossed discussing about ns. And following the same path a metre behind, are 2 girls looking all gloomy and bored. Hahaha! What can I say man? Yall go ahead and comment.

On a similar note, i walked past restaurants, cafes, ice cream shops, and I see botak heads sticking out of groups of teenagers all happily talking and laughing. And there are those loving couples holding hands, cherishing the only time they have for the whole week. Class outings, meetups and catchups sessions. Some how, I just reflected and recalled exactly 1 year ago, I was doing the exact same thing. And if you click on my archive last year, you'll just be reading about how happy I was to bookout and have a nice meal or meetup with my classmates or close friends. Suddenly I feel so old. So much has come and gone, my time just passed with a snap, and now I'm just looking forward to 5 dec the day of freedom. However, I'll be reflecting on how much I've learnt in this entire experience when the day arrives.

I just realised how I've been a frog in a well, or put it in a different way, a chick behind a mother hen for 20 years. I've been so well protected and shielded that I've never come into contact with anything or anyone that could potentially create havoc or threaten to deviate my structured route of ideal advancement. Until now.

In ns, I see all kind of people. From tatooed to rebellious to dropouts to criminal and to manly females. Haha. I dun wanna talk so much about it because you already know what I'm talking about. But few realise that with the hierachiecal structure and nature of the system, the entire male population has already been ranked so nicely for all to see at a glance. It might not be very detailed, but I feel that it is fairly accurate. The best climb to the top. There are the unfit ones who go in early but still have hope, the obese ones who go in even earlier and might even be exempted. There are the sick chickens, which by right I was suppose to be one,who often become clerks. And there are those who are perfectly fine but just give up without putting up a fight and just waste their 2 years away, doing nothing. Wimps. You even see guys in the mrt in chic clothing with mascara on! Anyway,my point was, the calibre of the males in sg can be seen just by looking at ns. Of course I'm not saying I'm damn good, but at least I push myself even with medical limitations, haha and perhaps intellectual limitations.

Just keep pushing and pushing, one fine day, you'll see the trees on the summit. They are all bearing fruits, fruits of YOUR labour.

highlights

2011-03-27T18:11:00.003+08:00

ok this shall be a quick one, i hope.

i watched probably 10 movies in the past 2 weeks. going the distance, unstoppable, prestige (again and again), black swan, expendables, world invasion, sucker punch and a hell lot more i can't remember at this point of time. MOVIES, somehow just transport you to another world. if it's a good movie, it can be just like alcohol. it makes you forget all your troubles, pressing issues, and all the daily stress.

similar to last week, i hardly had time to breathe, but i guess it's been slightly better as i start to learn to delegate. it's so hard to tell people to do things, because you don't know whether they are on the same boat, gasping for air, drowning in the mountainous pile of work. but i guess, we have to be vicious sometimes, just to save our own poor souls.

met up with ying lun, shawn and reuben recently. it's just great to see some familiar faces and talk with ease. went to eat some pancakes and it was great. somehow i was transported back in time when we could have the kiddish laughter and lame talks. hahaha reuben especially. we can talk crap and understand each other perfectly, the telepathy and inference ability, we just hit off. it's like we can be talking about something, and we both know immediately where the topic will be heading to, and we reach there the same time. it's amazing, 8 years. he actually know my hp no. and email address by heart. i think we are gay. LOL!

something interesting happened during class a few days back. Introducing a new topic, my lecturer called my name out of the blue and popped this question, "Daryl, how do you know if a girl likes you?" i just stoned there for a good 20 seconds, waiting for an answer to appear in my head. Unfortunately, nothing came. So i replied,"No idea. It's a mystery." Immediately, the 2 females in front turned back and smiled while another on my right just stared at me. And my lecturer just laughed, hinting a great deal of similar sentiments, but still, he had to link to the topic of Communication and just moved on.

Communication? If only it's that simple that a girl will just say it.
Nah, it doesnt happen like that, Sir.

Today, i went to Ikea. It has beeen quite some time. And as usual, i gives me the same old homely feel. However it's not the feeling that caught my attention. It was the prices of the items. It's unreasonably cheap! You can buy a table at $9.90, a bed at $70 and a clock at $1.50! It's scary. Even with inflation, you are able to acquire furniture at such prices. But look across the area, to the restaurant. The meatballs are $8!!!!! A meal almost costs more than a table! Go ahead, take a seat. The food comes. The chair you are sitting on costs more than the food! It struck me that is it true that food is more scarce than furniture? Cooks and dishwashers are earning more than craftsmen and wood manufacturers? I was just amazed how much the TEN DOLLAR NOTE can bring you. So it's true, the service industry is indeed the tertiary industry. It's really difficult to picture how washing dishes are more skilful than making a table. Of course, you don't see people physically washing dishes, but simply putting it into the machine. And OF COURSE you don't see an old man squatting at the corner hammering a nail into the wood, but a gigantic machine converting pulp into solid wood. The point i'm driving at is, the working environment plays the biggest difference in the amount one earns.

As long as you show your face, or accidentally show your face to the public, YOU GET THE DEAL! I have learnt, it's a superficial world. Everything's about presentation and packaging. You might not have the content, but as long as you are able to present yourself, and work with people, convince or influence decisions, the pay cheque rises. Technical skills arent as prestigious as soft skills.

Ok enough of ranting. i guess it's enough for the week. time to book in.....

MAX-ed

2011-03-19T18:29:00.002+08:00

I promised i'll make time to post something this week, no matter how busy i am.

I was simply filled to the brim for the past week. When you become a one-man department, you realise the importance of delegation of tasks. I was yearning for work to do when i first took seat. And now, i'm drowning within the influx. It's true what they say, shit always happens. Office politics. I'm not stressed, i'm just too damn busy. i can cope, but it just results in 5 min meals and disrupted sleep.

But looking back, i see the achievement. Upon clearing the whole list of stuff, i just heaved a sigh of relief and thought: I worked hard enough to earn my leisure this week.

You might find it strange that i'm gonna blog about a movie despite complaining about a packed week. But don't ask me about it.

Black Swan, brilliant. Able to match the standard of Inception.

I learnt that meals are just fuel for me to keep on moving. I've been eating while walking. It isn't that bad if you are holding a burger. But people just stare when you hold a packet of rice, scoop and walk through the CBD. It's amazing how much time i saved just by doing that.

I learnt that i can't work in a military. I will probably kill myself or get myself killed. It isnt the culture or what, it's the people. When the authority is simply screwed up, and you can't say NO, you can't disobey, you can't leave, you just suck it up and be extremely pissed off. I'm good at controlling my temper, I'm good at not being angry because i don't see a point in being angry at little petty things. But there are things which are simply beyond the limit. You can just strangle the fella you are talking to.

SIGHHH. Welcome to life.

What Are Words

2011-03-19T18:19:00.000+08:00

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I'm meant to be where I am
And I'm gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight
And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel close

a change perhaps.

2011-03-05T12:47:00.002+08:00

i think i might have to change my URL.

<--- dunno what's wrong with these people.

or maybe i should just shut this down once and for all? all good things have to come to an end someday, somehow anyway...

life lessons

2011-02-20T15:44:00.002+08:00

today, i spent 3 hours flipping the papers.

T-H-R-E-E.

i scanned through the headings of every page i flipped, HOPING that page would contain articles of irrelevant information. but every page i flipped, there was information that cannot be missed. it's either too interesting, OR, too useful be it now or in future.

the point i'm driving at is that there's too much information in this world. the book of knowledge has no boundaries. i may have read those articles, but whether i digest it, remember it, and APPLY it, that's another story. the modern world revolves around knowledge. the more you know, the more valuable you are, the more you are paid. sometimes i wonder why someone who just sit on top, and talk and talk can draw that amount of money, compared to someone who is so skilful with his hands, creating products, constructing buildings, putting materials together to manufacture that very chair the Talking Guy sits works so hard but earns so little.

the past week introduced to me the office concept. i finally understood WHY that fella on top earns so much. it might not be fully justified, but the amount of stress on the mind even though he is just sitting at the desk, clicking away on the computer, attending 5 hour long meetings, it is just as tiring. The skilful worker on the ground completes his job at 5pm, goes home happily to his family, worry-free. The talking guy sits in the office till 7pm and tears his hair off. He goes home, brain drained, still thinking about the presentation the next day.

last week, i organised the class gathering. and it was that day that i realised there is something i havent been able to possess even after 20 years. i lack experience. yes, i might have the theoretical knowledge, i might have seen people do it before, i might even have done it before, albeit of a smaller scale. but the point is, i havent done this before. i'm not exposed to such complications and situations. and i would have died on the spot if not for mr peh's help.

2 weeks back, my sister who just got her driving license was driving the family home. at a zebra crossing, she stalled. and great, the taxi driver behind came crashing into our backside. she just stunned. i just stunned. WHAT WOULD I HAVE DONE, SHOULD I BE THE ONE DRIVING? my sister just sat there, while my old man dad went down with oomph to thrash out with the taxi driver. i seized the opportunity to learn, and went down to see how things were done. it seemed so easy, but when it really happens to me, will i be able to do it as smoothly as my dad?

experience teaches lessons. valuable lessons you will remember for life. once bitten, twice shy.

as much as i want to declare that i'm ready to face the world, i dun think i am. i'm still learning every single day, from the teeny gritty stuff to the man's job, i'm still learning.

the day i can handle everything by myself, i can safely say i'm ready.

KNOWLEDGE and EXPERIENCE. i have yet to grasp, but i'm working hard on it.

pretty pretty please

2011-02-11T22:57:00.002+08:00

Pink - Perfect

Made a wrong turn
Once or twice
Dug my way out
Blood and fire
Bad decisions
That’s alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss “no way it’s all good”
It didn’t slow me down
Mistaken
Always second guessing
Underestimated
Look, I’m still around…

Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
Less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You are perfect to me

You’re so mean
When you talk
About yourself
You are wrong
Change the voices
In your head
Make them like you
Instead
So complicated
Look how big you’ll make it
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game
It’s enough
I’ve done all i can think of
Chased down all my demons
see you same

Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
Less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You are perfect to me

The world stares while i swallow the fear
The only thing i should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in lying and I tried tried
But we try too hard, it’s a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cuz they’re everywhere
They don’t like my genes, they don’t get my hair
Stringe ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that?
Why do I do that?
Why do I do that?

Yeah,
Ooh, oh, pretty pretty pretty,
Pretty pretty please don’t you ever ever feel
Like you’re less then, less than perfect
Pretty pretty please if you ever ever feel
Like you’re nothing you are perfect, to me
You’re perfect
You’re perfect
Pretty, pretty please don’t you ever ever feel like you’re less then, less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please if you ever ever feel like you’re nothing you are perfect to me

cny 11

2011-02-06T15:29:00.002+08:00

haha it's scary.

i clicked on Stats on my blogger's dashboard and got 29 hits yesterday at 8am. my guess is someone was really bored and read my entire history of posts OR someone was actively refreshing the page, which makes no sense. anyway, it made me explore the Stats function and i realised how random people have been reading this space. people just google a phrase and it leads to here. whether they want to visit or not, my hiding space has been discovered!! oh no.

ok whatever, i dun disclose much anyway.

cny has been pretty interesting. the atmosphere hasnt been outstanding this year, but the feel will always be there during Spring time. the songs, the decorations, the flowers, the scent, the goodies, the handshakes, the ang pows, the gatherings at the table, the loud voices, the laughter. the build up to cny was the usual chinatown visiting, the flower shopping at thomson road, the spring cleaning, the blasting of cny songs and just enjoying the mood.

did some visiting and some meet ups which were really good. everything else just faded into the background. perhaps, this just proves the point that what s most important in life is just the company of family and friends. the joy of togetherness is simply, overwhelming.

cny has been great. and i m glad it isnt just 1 day, but 15!! enjoy while you can folks!

crazy, crazy, crazy.

2011-01-30T21:28:00.002+08:00

if i appear to be out of sorts this few days, forgive me. i m going a bit cranky now.

many many things going on at the same time, and i m a bit stretched at the moment. personal stuff, family stuff, ns stuff, friends stuff and just all kinds of stuff. it's good in a way such that i m training and learning to juggle and cope which i ve always had problems. i m a typical guy who cant multi task. ok i can, just that i ll be pretty stressed out. ESPECIALLY, when i lack resources to complete my taskings. i have to constantly improvise which is really tiring. you know this when i start looking around, as if looking for something i ve lost in the woods. the lack of internet in camp, the lack of a proper organiser, the lack of personnel support, the lack of another ME.

anyway, at least i feel that i m making full use of every second. perhaps, i should take a breather this week. starting from wednesday!! i need a movie soon.

it s been raining non stop for days, is mother nature going equally cranky as well?

behind the scenes: never seen before images

2011-01-23T10:55:00.017+08:00

National Service. Enhanced Leadership batch, 1 year 10 months.

I've spent almost 1 year training. And it's been really eventful. But i guess it's the takeaway learning points that make this past 1 year more meaningful than i ever thought it would be. And so, i've decided to spent some time to post about how unforgetable the training phase of NS has been for me.

I enlisted on 6 February 2010 into BMTC School 3, Raven coy.

those were the days when locks were overflowing. honestly, i was just trying to save money and get a $2 haircut at tekong! there was no point shaving before going in as we dun know the standard they want. anyway, the truth is, they just wanna earn the $2 la.

ok, the last meal.

and there, we supposedly meet people from all walks of life. in fact, just to my left and right, i already knew them. there was colin from sa and sji, elian from sji, wilson from sa, leon from sa and just a hell lot of people i knew. gone were the days where we encounter ah bengs and sengs, hokkien pengs and jia kan tang atas people. everyone are of similar status.

we were very lucky to be able to book out after just 1 week due to chinese new year. i was really pushed to the limits in the first week. partly because my company, raven, was really quite xiong. i really learnt to appreciate the comfort of home since then.

after merely 1 week, i noticed changes in myself. we spent the whole day out in the sun for a week and i've become chao ta. we spent so much time doing physical activities, doing pushups for no reason, chin ups, weights and my arms just expanded naturally. we hardly have time to down our meals, sometimes just taking the food and eating on the way to the bin. i've seen food wastage at it's best. my stomach was never full and i've learnt to appreciate the food on the table, the time we have to enjoy the meal.

we hardly had time to do our own admin stuff at night. 5 min for an entire platoon of 64 men to shower in 8 cubicles. it's scary. some people just said "forget it" and just went to sleep. sleep was precious. i had to wake up early to hand wash my clothes and that was when i saw the gross side of people who actually REWEAR their used underwear. they just cant be bothered to be hygenic. sigh. at the end of each day, our bodies were aching, our hearts were aching, yearning to see our loved ones. i never failed to call home every night in bmt.

times at pasir ris interchange was memorable. dinner at white sands, then queued up for the bus to come. book outs were the most precious thing in bmt and in fact, ns. raven always book out on saturdays and book in on sundays. the 30 plus hours out was golden.

however, everything has to come to an end. no matter how tough training was, i made it.

Passing out parade aka POP after a gruelling 24km route march with probably 30kg load.

my first buddy. adriel tan. he hails from mj and applied for accoutancy at ntu. he s a smart guy. but quite blur. not blaming him since he was from squash and not a uniform group. a man u fan and a pretty skilful footballer, he's a good buddy. we had good talks and always looked out for each other. undeniably, i had to take care of him more often than not. taught him stuff i learnt from ncc, helped him with his fitness since his runnning wasnt good, always reminded him to bring his stuff, equipment check as we call it. haha he s always forgetting stuff.

in ns, i realised the importance of music. it was the only thing that i could bring into camp that's dynamic enough to remind me of the outside world. it lifts my spirits and every song associates itself with somebody.

in bmt,

Bad Romance - Lady Gaga
Down - Jay Sean
Officially Missing You - Tamia
Through It All - Hillsongs

bad romance was just a hit at that time. through it all reminded me of all the time in sa, chapel, and the last day in school. the other 2 were just syafiq and bing hong's favourites and they just kept singing.

as i said for the billionth time, i believe it was my section mates who got me into OCS. they thought highly of me and ranked me one of the top. my platoon sergeant didnt even know my name.

the parade square that i yearned to march on 9 months from that day.

view from the safti tower.

my buddy for Common Leadership Module aka CLM which was the first 3 weeks of OCS, was wong wei. a big muscular guy from nyjc. a hardcore canoeist, he's a soft spoken fella but loves 987fm. he's the one who got me into listening to radio everyday in camp. for him, i didn't have to take care of him much, since he was pretty independent. he's a chiongster who's always on the ball. the garang soldier who we term UP THERE. i wasnt surprised to meet people like him at ocs, in fact i thought everybody should be like him. my biggest regret was not able to take a photo with him as promised after comms parade. he went to armour while i was posted to air force. 3 weeks confined with him was pretty cool, because for once, i was the one talking more than the other party!

the pics were taken during OCS family day which was at the end of 2 weeks into ocs. we were confined for 3 weeks to supposedly adjust to the new environment.

air wing.

You Found Me - The Fray
Two Is Better Than One - Boys Like Girls
When I Look at You - Miley Cyrus
Already Gone - Kelly Clarkson
Parachute - Cheryl Cole
Need You Now - Lady Antebellum
This Aint a Love Song - Scouting For Girls
Airplanes - B.o.B
Alenjandro - Lady Gaga
Tik Tok - Kesha
Breakeven - The Script
Use Somebody - Kings of Leon

i think there are still more! but these are the songs i listened to day in day out for 7 weeks in air wing. they kept me company when i was at my utmost bored state.

my third buddy. adrian chua. 26 year old mec eng grad of ntu who signed on the new MDES scheme after completing his uni studies. he's more chinese orientated, VERY matured, does area cleaning whenever possible, believes in consistent work, believes in being selfless, sometimes even washing the entire toilet on his own (he was the toilet ic). ok when he left after 5 weeks, automatically, i took over as toilet ic and in the end, i was the one washing the toilet all by myself.

i saw myself in him. ok apart from the fact that he s more chinese and he uses vulgarities now and then. i have no idea why guys must use vulgarities in 1 out of 5 sentences they string. what effect does it pose? all i know is that it degrades you. it shows that you are not disciplined enough to control what you say, always expressing aggressiveness and anger. anyway, back to the point. he's someone i can really live with for a long long time, too bad it was only 5 weeks.

social night. i promised myself that i mustnt get someone who s attached or may have some complicated relationship out there to be my date. because i figured out it isnt nice to borrow someone's girlfriend for a night. i popped the SOS flare and hui hui saved me from confinement by asking xunqi to help out. as long as you are with me, you know you wont be starved of welfare. me being a stingy fella, i still splurged on that night and made sure everything went well. after spending so much time with a bunch of irritating males, i've learnt to appreciate the fairer sex more, and treat them better. hmm, but i dunno why my sisters still ill treat me!

anyway, this is the part where i dun have pictures. it's just training, out in the field, where i get down and dirty. learn to roll in mud, be dirty, starve, work under fatigue and stress, and still thrive. i learnt a lot about guys. i see guys (actually only ONE fella) who are the real deal, matured, clean, hardworking, focussed, independent. and i see guys which are actually the rest, who are lazy, unhygienic, overly dependent, childish and never think. some who spend every cent in the bank acct whenever it s the 10th of the month, go clubbing, drinking, smoking, cabbing everywhere, buying branded goods, unneccessary stuff and sucking up to girls. sometimes, i m just utterly disgusted. i'm disappointed how these people who have poor knowledge, no skills, can actually get a qualification and a job and earn more than hardworking cleaners, or construction workers who actually have much more useful skills. WHY are they paid to just sit around in the office, contribute nothing, go for tea breaks, and wait to knock off at 5pm? they are more concerned about how to enjoy themselve than to build on their knowledge and skills. is this the 3rd generation?

at aftc, i had another buddy. wong zi heng. from tj and ncc sea previously, his habits are almost similar to mine. we dun believe in waiting and always report just ON time. our lights out timing always changes. and we believe in neat organisation. his stuff are always in place, as he terms SWEE SWEE. sadly, we had to split as we were posted to different weapons.

after tough training, comes great rewards. the sword all officers get at RCGC.

my last buddy. koo zheng xuan. very very smart guy. gifted program since young, RI, RJ, 8As. gonna be a lawyer. talented in soccer, great artist. possesses great social skills, a quick thinker and an avid reader. i m grateful to him, for volunteering to move out of his old bunk and move with me when i had to leave zi heng. nobody else wanted me! no matter how good someone is, there are some down falls. he s still quite a mama s boy haha. very dependent, and lazy in terms of personal equipping. cant do housework for nuts, doesnt really care about cleanliness. (i had to clean the entire bunk myself!) but he takes care of me. sometimes he s like my bodyguard, standing up for me. i ll always remember the reaction he had at zoukout when i was separated from the rest. he was damn worried. i m glad someone actually cares about me. big guy tough on the outside, but soft on the inside. biggest weakness is FOOD! and i have to control him for his own good! if not, no more IPPT gold!!

songs in aftc playing on repeat every single day:

Just the Way you Are - Bruno Mars

Animal - Neon Trees

Love the Way you Lie pt 1 and 2 - Rihanna

The Time - Black Eyed Peas

Club Can't Handle Me - Flo Rida

Dynamite - Taio Cruz

Firework - Katy Perry

commissioning parade. the birth of an officer after 9 months in the ocs womb.

we stood firm in the storm. unwavered as the president inspected us on the ceromonial landrover you see in ndp. we did everything right despite water in our boots, the chilly wind against our skin.

the 3 weeks of rehearsals helped us achieve this standard. happy we may be, but i will always have the regret of not being able to throw the peak cap. the rain made the parade truncated and the rest was carried out in the dining hall.

my dad putting on the left empulatte - 2nd Lieutenant.

as promised, we commissioned together. ming had a torrid service term. ying lun went through shit to earn those badges and the prestigious red beret. and for myself, i cant say i went though the same amount of shit, but tough times i've never ever been through for my entire 19 years.

no school teaches better than Officer Cadet School. the life skills i've learnt can perhaps, save the rest of my life.

dropping rain

2011-01-09T17:14:00.002+08:00

1 more week to the day i've been training for for 9 months.

however, i'm extremely worried. i have been on the verge of falling ill since wednesday. the feeling and the symptoms. the bad throat and the occasional sneeze hint at something. if i do fall, and miss the rehearsals, that's it. there goes the event i've been looking forward to for 9 months. and so, i've been popping actifed, panadol, danzen and downing expectorant ever since. i'm not sure how these medications work, but i'm hoping that they will somehow disrupt the replication process and prevent the virus from infecting my dear cells. i have to recover by tomorrow!!!

please please please.

despite feeling shitty, i still went for my first acca lesson during the friday nights out. it was a mad rush and i only managed to attend half of it, but i think it's worth it. i learnt a lot in the hour plus. but the most crucial lesson learnt is: there is a hell lot of things out there i don't know. and that reminded me i'm no where, nobody. i have to work hard.

the next day i received news that i might not be staring at stores or vehicles afterall. instead, i'll be in charge of almost 30 men. it's kinda weird. but i guess, this is what we are trained for ultimately right. to lead, to excel, to overcome. it's time to take charge, make the decisions, instruct, do the right thing. i've learnt to take care of myself, and now, it's time to take care of others. the bar gives authority i've never dreamt of. but with great power, comes great responsibility.

had driving straight after a saturday bookout and it was good. getting used to the controls pretty well. it was my younger sister's birthday and we went to tung lok at east coast for dinner. it was extremely fulfilling since it was an ala carte buffet. the food was good and so was the environment.

everyone's growing old. i found it hard to believe that she's 17 already. and me, i'm gonna be 20. TWO ZERO. not a teen anymore. it's like, wow. 2 decades just passed like that. i'd better get things done, instead of always waiting and waiting and waiting. sometimes, certain things can't wait. and once you miss it, you can never get it back.

youth is one, no doubt.

2010 annual report

2010-12-31T16:10:00.001+08:00

Hi all! To whoever still bothers to read this pathetic space that only update once a week.

It’s the last day of the year and so, here’s an annual end of the year ‘reflection’ again! Ok, it’s more of a summary of what happened this year, as usual. I had the idea of uploading photos to mark certain significant events, but I’m too lazy to do so and I’m kinda in a rush to get out of the house. So, here it goes, a quick one I hope.

I kick started the year with an outrageous trip to Bintan, aka the Scam Island. The nasi goreng was ultimate hilarious. I really enjoyed the trip. Just a bunch of guys, childish, yet matured enough to take care of themselves, and their brothers in arms. Somehow, i hope i can go on another trip with them. We might have changed a significant lot by the end of this year, but i think the core, the character of the person will never change. If he is funny, he is funny. If he is a leader, he will always be one. And 4 of those who went are deemed leaders of this country. These are the people i can trust my life with.

And after enough fooling around in scam island, i resided in another island for 9 weeks. The island of pulau tekong. It was tough, tougher than i thought, but i survived it and was elated during the Passing out Parade. Honoured to be in the drill squad, which came in 2nd, and as such, was in the front row of the parade. It wasn’t grand, but i guess it’s enough to mark this significant milestone of my life. Loved my section, and i’m sure my section loved me. They thought so highly of me, and i think they are the ones who got me a ticket to a ride of my lifetime. And so, i was posted to Officer Cadet School after the pop. I was all geared up and ready for the tough infantry training, the jungle confidence course in brunei, the unlimted route marches, the crazy field camps and tough mental challenges to go through. I was posted to an unusual Wing. Sierra. There were a billion regulars, mostly air force and navy sign ons. And i was kinda out of place. The 3 weeks there was quite ok, just getting used to life in Safti. However, i was tempted to sign on. I thought hard about my future during those 3 weeks, after the a level results were released. There was sort of a plan. But i consulted my parents and they said, ‘wait, don’t be hasty.’ I guess those were the wisest words i heard for a long time. I was young and naive, easily influenced, and didn’t know i was playing with probably my whole life. So i thought, yea, ok i shall listen. We’ll wait. And i waited.

On the last day in Sierra, i received the news that i was going to Air Wing. The plane has come to save my soul from torture. I was jumping for joy and telling the whole world the news. I was one lucky idiot out of how many others to be able to go to Ground Based Air Defence. And so i served my service term of 7 weeks in Air Wing OCS. I met a 26 year old uncle who talked sense and gave me precious advice. He ‘s a Mechanical Engineering grad of NTU and told me about his life, his decisions, his WRONG decisions, his regrets and mistakes. He didn’t want me to make the same mistakes and we spent one whole night talking. I probably grew 3 years older after the session. He left the Wing early since he was a non combatant and required 2 weeks less training. So i lived alone in my room for 2 weeks, settling unconventional stuff like getting a Social Night date and figuring out what to wear that won’t get me confined. The 7 weeks was bad enough with politics and stuff, i didn’t want any more crap. I realised I had so few female friends to ask and even had to turn to my motherly ‘sister’ for help. That was how desperate i was when the date drew near. And so, that s how i met a saviour in xunqi to help me out. The build up to the event was kinda hectic, but i guess everything paid off. It was expensive, but somehow worth it. Part of officership training is handling this kind of events, knowing what to do, and of course, having fun ultimately. And perhaps, it’s training to grow up, be a gentleman, and make more female friends before i start seeing guys as attractive. Social Night was a significant day of 2010.

After the 7 weeks in Safti, i left for Air Force Training Command in Paya Lebar. I can’t disclose much about training, but all i can say is that it’s tough in some ways, relax in others. 26 weeks. It wasn’t easy. But yet i pulled through again. Yes, without my knees giving way or me doing stupid things. It was a rather smooth sailing 6 months. I made a bunch of great buddies, who i believe, will be of definite help to me in future. As they call us – the scholar batch. All except me of course. The RSAF Combined Graduation Ceremony went all well, i received the sword all officers receive, got my wings to signify the Air Warfare Officer vocation, wore the No.2 ‘suit’ for the fine dining. And after all that training, i’m back in Safti, rehearsing for the finale. The commissioning parade on 15 January 2011.

That was about the entire NS life i had so far.

In between, i started to learn driving, manual, and will be taking the test on 1st March 2011. I also decided to diversify my qualifications and signed up for ACCA, of which night lessons begin next week so that i can fully utilize my time now. I guess this should be the path i’m taking afterall. Yup, it was a great year of ups and downs (as always) and this is the year i learnt the most life skills. Skills like living independently, which i m kinda loving it, social skills, time management (which still needs brushing up), DECISIVENESS which improved a lot and perhaps brotherhood..

This is the stage where i grow up, choose my path, pave it, and work towards it. I shall end this post with what i dreamt last night. It’s significant i guess, the last dream of 2010. And it woke me up at 4am, and i couldn’t sleep anymore. The details are kinda difficult to type out, but i think i can draw one conclusion from it. I think i’ve decided i should know someone better.

That’s it, folks. I don’t really like to set resolutions, so i shall keep it that way. Come what may, 2011!!

a mini holiday

2010-12-24T23:30:00.002+08:00

well, i had a pretty good break i guess. it aint the best but i somehow made full use of the 2 day leave and the stay out. family chalet at aranda was not bad overall. the chalet wasnt good as i thought. it s quite old actually and has the ... chalet smell. the musky smell. anyway i went prawning in hope of putting my newly acquired skills to good use and to bring some more food to the dinner table, ok bbq pit in this case. but i failed miserably. i caught NONE. at 6pm in the evening, where the owner only releases 20kg of prawns in total two times a day, it s quite an expected outcome. which brings me to a point in business. it s really quite smart, but unethical to me. things like buffet, and prawning, or even those machines with psps, ipods amd handphones danglin at the arcades. it s a sure win. they get to control the medium. for buffets, just slow the serving process, take forever to serve and throw in the time limit, no matter how big the stomach is, it cant be filled. prawning, just have rods dipped in an empty pond! and the machines, it s programmed such that no one ever wins.

ok anyway, back to the chalet, had a fulfilling bbq without prawns, and we went for late night bowling till 1am. slept for a while before booking in. skip the boring parts. ok went back to the chalet after book out and had a simple dinner at the food court. played some mahjong before hitting the sacks earlier. went back to aftc for the last time to move our stuff to safti once more. i ll miss the place. it has been a brilliant 6 months spent at paya lebar. life was good. i m one lucky fella to be posted there for training, and to have spent it with great people and inspiring leaders.

safti. sweet old safti. memories rushed back the moment we hit the gates. i m sure i ll be black by the end of 3 weeks. evident by some sun burn after just one drill session. it s quite fun though. booked out early and met lois for movie at jp since it s her territory. i would say it s worth the money. quite a good movie.

driving today, and i mastered the highest level of the art of solitude by strolling down town all by myself. just walked and walked around orchard, mingling within the crowds, observing the changes, soaking the christmas atmosphere and just people watched. of course it would have been nice to have friends there, but i just didnt know who to ask. and so, i just had dinner and went back. it s not that sad as it seems. it s just a phase of life, where you just think.. and that s all you can do.

sword for life, wings to fly.

2010-12-20T23:11:00.002+08:00

and we spent the entire week preparing for this. the graduation ceromony.

it was apparently quite a big event, considering the number of HEADS who actually bothered to attend. i was pretty amused. yep anyway i have to admit everything went very well and the organisation was really good. i received my sword at last! not to forget, the wings too! after the 26 weeks of training, it finally ended with this to mark it. but somehow i didnt really feel that ecstatic. it s like, oh ok, yea it s here. perhaps the build up to this wasnt that intense. we had so much freedom, so much time out, and even stay out. i guess this just shows how much these things are compared to time spent with my family and friends. however, i could see how proud my parents were when i received the sword. they must be thinking, yea this fella finally got something right after getting everything else wrong for 19 years. hahah. anyways, after the ceromony was fine dining which was labelled 'uncomfortable dining' by the guy sitting beside me. i m fine with fine dining. i m fine as long as the food is nice. and damn, it was great. soup was creamy, appetiser appetising, bread free flow, tenderloin brilliantly tender and pan fried. even the spirit was well mixed, ok minus the pot wine, everything was great. after the formal stuff, there was some sabo game which i shallnt disclose anything here.

sat morning was cage! played pretty well and that s all that matters since my main dudes were mostly missing. it s so difficult to organise when everyone s schedule clashes. lunch at koufu leisure park and then went for lesson and home. sun, i finally cleared up my army stuff. and played mahjong which i technically won $120, but the new rule was to divide by 10. so, i won 12 bucks. great. squeezed in time to watch despicable me on mio. yep it was quite good, but kinda like ratatouile. too similar plot.

today, i m at home thanks to the need to clear leave. and i dedicated my entire day to family. which was kinda weird. because, i ended up going to karaoke with them. hahaha. and it s not teo heng or kbox. it s civil service club! tried to get teo heng but no space, tried kbox but too ex. the club was pathetic, but cheap! $7 per hour for a room that can hold 10 people. just that it s like some nightclub type except that it s all the uncles and aunties trying to practise for Golden Hour (is that the ch8 programme?) or is it golden years. ah whatever. it s quite hilarious. teo heng s still cheaper though, since they stupidly forced us to order $3 cokes and $5 fruits. went for dinner at some tim sum place around farrer park. quite fulfilling. ok i guess thats it. MORE family time tml, at the chalet. till then, tata!

packed like sardines

2010-12-13T16:22:00.002+08:00

it was non stop action since book out. but i guess it s called making full use of time.

booked out and went for driving which i m quite pleased with the progress. rushed down immediately to city hall to have dinner at the garlic restaurant once again to celebrate pam s birthday. stayed till quite late and as usual had to run for the last bus.

recharged till late morning to settle some admin stuff which failed. now i gotta do it again. anyway, met huihui for a rather impromptu lunch, which was rather awesome. indulgence once in a long while. sushi tei rocks socks.

flew back home to drop my stuff, got changed, and flew back down to town, vivo to meet up with the guys for zoukout10. it wasnt THAT good. as an early bird, we went in quite early to queue for free drinks (for singtel users only) and got just a liiiiiilllllllllll tipsy. but we realised it was too early. and before the real thing started we were all totally sober. yep that was basically what happened. because nothing happens when you aint high. ok at least that s for me. 8 cups wasnt enough. and we didnt open the bottle that one guy brought.

but the music at the retro arena was not bad. at least recognisable. other than that, not my cup of tea. it was like l4d fighting zombies, getting swallowed in the crowd. so we left after finding one another AFTER getting separated in the crowd. walked all the way out to vivocity and took a cab home.

slept till 2pm and watched a mio movie before packing up and visit ngee ann poly to help my dad with some of his work. and a nice rewarding dinner at sizzler toa payoh hub. it was damn worth it. salad bar buffet. i m never going to jack s after the sizzler session.

yep so that s about it. booked in and that concluded a great weekend.

social creatures

2010-12-05T14:07:00.003+08:00

the freedom we have now is unbelievable. and it s just a preview of what is to come. now i understand the rationale of having the tough training, the picky system to choose the right people to take up these roles. there will be no more cats to chase the rats. the rats are trusted to do the right thing all the time. to have the discipline that was instilled and carry on upholding it.

the distinct line between trainees and instructors have been fading at an astonishing rapid rate. somehow, we are more like friends than colleagues. the transition is difficult for me, but i guess i ll have to pick up some skills to deal with that. i aint no natural.

we had late night sarpino s pizza on thursday, a crazy kampung fight, an early bookout for prata breakfast outside our 'beloved' nee soon, and a hell of a time at bottle tree park yet again. this time it wasnt prawns, it was WAR. paint war! haha it was fun, but PAINtFUL. i sustained some battle scars being a hero who charged to the frontline of exchanging fire. the paintball may be small, but it caused some serious bruising. there was blood too. but i guess it was all worth it in the spirit of fun and competiveness.

next up was LAN, just outside our future 'beloved' chong pang. it was amazingly fun, considering i m no LAN fella. it has been a long time since i touched l4d2. and it felt good to be actually one of the better ones at it that day.

after 2 hours, it was food yet again! xiao long bao buffet at crystal jade holland village once more. the good stuff came too slow! i was almost filled by the steamboat by the time our full orders came. but it was a good meal nonetheless. the end of course cohesion was a success overall.

as i was heading home at tampines interchange, i was stopped by one of those surveyors with a pen and stack of papers. being in a good mood and had lots of time to waste, i decided to listen to what she had to say. somehow, the statement made by the famous tangs plaza underpass busker struck me. he said something like this "i hope singaporeans will slow down their pace and listen." of course he was referring to his music, but i thought yea, maybe i should just slow down and see what this people want. i totally understand the sucky feeling of having millions of people zoom past you while you are trying to your job. (FLAG DAY)

so anyway, she was introducing some savings scheme for students and NSFs to save 3% of their monthly income, instead of the usual 0.01% interest when thrown into the bank. she said she would earn $0.50 if i filled the particulars form, and $1 if i followed her to her booth to collect some brochures. ok, so i being a nice soul that day, decided to help out. instead, another guy appeared at the so called 'booth' which was just an empty mcdonald s table and started to display the usual salesman behaviour - build rapport by talking about similar experiences like NS and uni, then display some professional knowledge and persuasive skills.

after trying to retort their scheme by pointing out that 3% is too little, and i could get way higher interests with my assets by other means of investment, he came up with some lame counter that i can put in lesser money with them. then i rebutted with 'what s the point in putting in so little to collect probably just $20 after 1 whole year which i might spend in a single meal??'

their jaws just dropped.

apparently, i wasnt that stupid as i looked. i asked them twice about their company but they kept shunning telling more about it.

but i didnt have enough just yet. i shot back at them with a last question. why are they targeting students and NSFs despite knowing their disposable income is so little? some hardly have $10 to save, and the amount of effort to get the large number of kids to make up for one rich working adult who can contribute so much more is tremendous.

the guy who claims he was from NBS said with an unconvincing smile that the company s aim is to help the target group. i ended the conversation with,"dun kid me, i study economics too, and i know that all commercial companies have the primary objective of making profits." and i stood up, offered a handshake and walked off. the feeling was awesomeeee.

it was obvious that they cant convince the working adults to put their money with this minnow company who might be just starting up and now they are targeting adolescents who can be easily conned into signing 25 year contracts and freezing their assets when they could be used for a better return.

from that moment, i realised the immense importance of education and financial literacy, which i guess might well be my route in future.

yesterday. driving, which went very smoothly. i m pleased with my learning pace. fighting out on the main roads was thrilling but i m glad i managed well.

headed down to 15 minutes Cafe at Lasalle College for dinner with ying, reub, shawn, tong, jer, his gf and friend. it was supposed to be a celebration for his birthday coming up next week. the place was nice but a lil too cold. jackston joined later and met up with ivan for another session of INTENSE l4d2. once again, i returned to become the noob of the group, but didnt play that badly. improving! great time spent, but ended at 1plus only to catch the night owl for an hour s ride home alone.

men - social creatures. how would i thrive without these people around me? really appreciate the company of these wonderful people in my life. even though some people simply love teasing me for apparently no reason at all. hahah. good try dudes, but nope, not true. :)

it ain't over yet

2010-11-29T20:49:00.004+08:00

the final outfield is done.

it wasnt as intensive. i can back it up with stats and data. the previous one i lost 3kg, but i only lost 1kg this time round. ok cut the boring stuff, i embarked on an amazing journey to gain back all the weight i lost and it started right after book out on friday.

aunt's birthday at imperial palace at tampines1. ok the usual stuff, but food never tasted so good after a week of abstinence.

sat was my ftt alas. yea passed with flying colours. but long way to pass the practical. went back to do admin stuff, catch up with amazing race and got changed for another wedding. another cousin wedding at marriot hotel. and guess what. the entire 10 course meal was the same as what i ate 24 hours before that. it s scary. and this time, i m eating for 3 pax portion since my table has only 8 people. at the end of it, i was sure i gained the 1kg lost PLUS gst, service charge, extra service charge, extra extra service charge etc. as for the wedding dinner, the whole thing was kinda well planned. it was contemporary, the food was good, the speeches were engaging, the entertainment was excellent. live acoustic trio performance. the guitarist is imba. ok maybe coz he has a good guitar, but he s familiar with the tabs like the back of his hand. great stuff.

anyways, was deadbeat and just died on the bed without even changing out. woke up to the charms of the morning sun rays and did more admin stuff before going out to watch harry potter. like finally. the build up to it was kinda complicated, but oh well, i think i made the best choice.

the feeling of just snuggling into a warm jacket, while roaming about the cold mall, drizzling on the outside, and buzzing with people on the inside, is just great. throw in the hot coffee and some snacks, i just went wow. had a nice jap dinner after that and just booked in. it was still a brilliant weekend, but it could have been better. it was close.

should be a short and good week coming up. good luck to those having exams!

crap, i miss tau huey and croissants.

sweet freedom

2010-11-21T13:53:00.002+08:00

hah. it was a week to dream for.

put it in nicer terms it s called rest and recovery, or as some of my friends would say, body maintenance. hahah. ok i didnt quite rest since i sustained yet ANOTHER injury.

warmed up for cage on monday night and had cage on tuesday which we could only reach the finals but could not win it. i cant believe it. the team s really strong but we couldnt create enough and contain all their attacks. i tried my best but i was covering too much all by myself. glad that i did my part for all the defensive work, the initialization for attacks and a thumping penalty in off the post. had a great time, but screwed my right hamstring after all the work.

and so i was limping for the rest of the week. wednesday off, friday drove.

saturday was a pretty productive day. some how, i felt all happy and chirpy to wake up at 9 and left for town alone with no friends to meet, only to settle my personal stuff. it s nice because you have all the freedom in the world. i guess this is just what i need before going through another round of crap coming up this week.

been stocking up my cells with nutrients over the weekend. meaning eating like no tomorrow because i know i m gonna lose yet ANOTHER 3KG in a week like the previous time out in the field. peeps, i found the fastest and healthiest way to lose weight, just visit the wilderness.

appreciate

2010-11-14T15:10:00.001+08:00

Hello world, i did survive the week in the end. It was really a hell of a week. Never in my life i felt so exhausted and still kept going and going. The basic instinct and nature of a human being was actually forgotten. Food and rest were of my last priority for me and the groups i took charge. And they understood and followed my lead to get things done first.

We just kept moving, it was mission after mission. I probably slept 5 hours for 5 days, and ate portions that i would usually eat for a single day only. However, all these would not be a problem on a normal day when you just sit around doing nothing. The activities kept us moving nonstop, some were even as intensive as running a marathon, some even worse. Pee was always yellow since we were always sweating, yes, sweating like a dog. Our bodies were pushed to the limits, no rest, no recovery, we kept going and going. Fatigue level rocketed sky high as each second passed. It was to the extent where you can sleep standing upright. I didn’t feel human for 5 days.

When it finally ended, we went back to greet surprises but little did i expect surprises to be as surprising as the initial surprise. Oh anyway we survived and went back for a shower. The clean cool water streamed through your hair, down the camou-ed face and the worn out body driving the dirt down the drain. It was refreshing, it reminded me how it feels to be alive, to be sanitised. It’s these little things that we take for granted every day. Sleep, food, sanitisation.

As i was walking home dressed in my uniform, with the bulky black bag of muddy clothes on my shoulder, i walked past the playground i ve been walking pass for almost all my life. The laughter and screaming of little kids enjoying their selves , the sound of the ball ramming against the void deck walls and the chirps of the birds which were bidding goodbye to the dimming sunrays. Upon hearing those, i just smiled to myself and the line came to my mind: “children having fun, while we are holding guns.” I thought, perhaps, what we are doing is indeed for a greater cause, indeed worth it afterall.

I dropped my bag got changed and went for a great dinner with my family at the airport. The ambience, the food, the company, just reminded me of the times i had when i was a kid, running to the viewing gallery to see the big planes and sitting on ronald’s lap eating my Happy Meal. But that day, i strolled to the same place, with hands in my pockets and just looked on. I didn’t even glance at the planes on the other side of the glass, but i found myself sitting down on a platform, not on ronald’s lap, simply admiring my mum’s eyes, my dad’s inquisitiveness, my sisters’ liveliness. And i wondered, how things have changed, how far i’ve come. More importantly, what’s closest to my heart.

It’s amazing how tough times make you appreciate these little things, especially your loved ones and the memories that have passed and will never come back. Cherish the present ones and enjoy every moment in the future. When i finally do find the other half who i can spend the rest of my life with, who i can join the Amazing Race with, who i can lay down my life for, i know i will give nothing less than what she deserves.

class

2010-11-06T16:01:00.002+08:00

past 2 weeks, or rather weekends have been good. the weekdays were tiring. it s so difficult to be the one organizing everyone when the egoes are so high. everyone s a leader in their own way, that s the reason why they are there. it s tough, but i managed to pull through my term and i think i did reasonably well. it was tiring and stressful at times but that s part and parcel of the 9 months i guess.

last weekend was unexpectedly fun. i expected it to be kinda mundane and considering i just had a long tiring week.. but somehow the company was good. it s really important to have the balance in a group. just like a football team. you must have different types of players to make the team tick. there must be a willing goalkeeper, a hardcore centreback, a destroyer midfielder, a creative attacking spark, a touchline hugging winger, an out and out striker. and of course a captain, a leader to make them work altogether.

back to the topic, the reason why cliques can stay together is because either everyone in the group is goddamn similar, or everyone have totally different personalities. someone has to be the crazy one to suggest ideas, someone has to be there to take the lead and enforce it usually by joining in first, and someone has to be the joker to make retarded but hilarious comments and actions. however, someone has to be the coolheaded one and make sure things go smoothly, steering the group clear of potential danger and take care of them when situations do finally arise.

it s amazing how everything falls into place nicely without the members noticing, until you sit back and analyze why things happen the way it is. and i m glad i m in such a group.

there s another group i have which i know is there, it still exists, just that i ve been neglecting for so long. everyone s really so damn busy, i cant do much now. but i do have plans. everything will be just the way it was.

this weekend, a movie and class gathering. the movie was brilliant, not the inception brilliant, but good enough after resident evil. class gathering, felt bad to arrive so late. missed out on the interaction part. it was not bad actually, the food was about right, attendance was more than expected and the host IS someone i have utmost respect and fondness of. one of the best in his line around, and a very good man. sometimes you wonder, why is he still single??

haha i guess i have a lot to rant today. it s a day of opinion, a day of words (perhaps after a week of words since i had to talk so much, there s this momentum kept going).

next week will be the week of truth. the test. dirty, smelly, uncomfortable, minimal rest, minimal food, stressed out, exhausted, pushed beyond limits, heat rash, mosquitoes, sandflies, scorching heat, freezing storms, interrogation after interrogation ... everything you can think of. all packaged into a nice parcel to be opened by us next week. i will push till my mind blanks out, till my eyes see nothing but pitch black, till my limbs cramp up, my knees scream for mercy. that s the extent i ll go, just to get pass next week, and EARN the bar come january.

falling once was painful enough, i cant afford to fall once more. pray that i do survive to tell you about the experience.

it s all in the mind.

like a fool.

physical vs mental

2010-10-26T20:43:00.003+08:00

hmm ok.

pretty straightforward weekend.

had driving lesson on friday after bookout, cousin s wedding on saturday at hilton hotel. doubled up as the reception fella at the lobby and a photographer. pretty busy but felt that at least i was useful. spent my entire sunday settling admin stuff and studying for a theory test that went ok i guess.

i m finally done destroying my knees! completed the final test for soc with a respectable timing of 7.59. and now after physical, it s back to studying.. everything must be shoved into the space between my eyebrow and hairline. great.

personal taste

2010-10-18T21:11:00.002+08:00

ok, it s another post of "How I Spent My Weekend".

i didnt do much this week but somehow i felt that it was quite well spent. went for a relaxing ramen meal at Central with 2 of my closer coursemates right after bookout. we roamed about the clarke quay after that and finally settled for some kungfu bubble tea. it was a really relaxed and carefree stroll with my buddies.

spent my saturday continuing watching personal taste which i finally finished! it s one of the few dramas that i would actually watch and commend. good plot, but a little too drama. the ost is really good though. kinda hooked onto it. it s amazing how someone can change so much under the influence of someone else.

went for supper with 5 other guys and my instructor at bedok 85. it was kinda gay but ultimately it turned out quite well. chill out session, didnt regret going even though so many pang sehed. HOWEVER, i m really getting too lazy. i m eating too much and working out too little. i always want to go run or swim but my legs are screaming. sustained a new injury on the left hip flexors, and i cant seem to do any exercise. walking is already a problem. seriously, at this rate i ll end the course in a wheel chair.

went shopping with family on sun! retail therapy as people call it. even though i ll always look at the price tag before picking the item up to have a closer look, when i have an objective in mind, i ll usually complete it without hesistating when i m locked on one. i guess that s the good thing about me. i get the therapy, without busting the budget! times are bad y'know. times are ALWAYS bad (fyi hahaha)

yea that was about it, booked in early to watch liverpool lose again. i ve got nothing to say man.. it s gonna be an eventful weekend coming up, so something to look forward to!

hope you guys are doing fine, whoever reads this.

alive for a life.

2010-10-10T15:58:00.002+08:00

it was a very tiring week. a week where i pushed myself to the limits, and beyond. i was on the verge of going down, but the only thing that prevented me from doing so was my mind. i knew i could not go down, i was almost there, and i just fought it. the sense of accomplishment was enormous. i knew for once, i did well. :)

i broke another barrier on friday. pushed till i could push no more. and the end result was worth smiling for. something i ve never achieved and i finally gotten it, the feeling was good. of course i cant just stop there, i have to better it next week.

rewards always come. sometimes you ve gotta seek them yourself. but somehow the weekend fell into place really nicely. we had another course cohesion, went for a movie after a long while - legend of the fist. good action, good company, and good popcorn! shaw s popcorn s still the most worthwhile. had a great steamboat dinner around bugis area before having frolick at tampines1. great day.

saturday was .. better. haha. ultimately, it s time spent with the closer people that seem more golden. subway lunch, teo heng, pasta mania dinner and some extras were excellent. i was dead tired at the end of the day, actually forgot that i had badminton early that morning. totally glad i organised this session.

paid off my fatigue debt on a sunday morning and woke up to a sumptous homecooked lunch followed by watching the addictive korean drama. it s really quite sweet. the type where you can go aww for some scenes.. and damn! when the bad characters plot evil deeds. hahaha. yea but the girl s actions and behaviour are really sweet.

it s been a wonderful week. cant ask for more. :D

life? get one.

2010-10-03T15:45:00.004+08:00

basically, i have no life at the moment.

i spend my weekends
1) swimming
2) gyming
3) eating
4) sleeping
5) reading
6) watching tv

i cant believe i m actually following the korean drama on saturday nights.

chi, makan, devour and savour

2010-09-21T19:48:00.003+08:00

i returned to camp with a fitness level equivalent to zero and jumped into an intensive activity almost immediately last week. almost died. but i didnt, and survived to go prawning aka catch prawns using a rod and bait at bottletree for mid course cohesion. can you believe it? we are half way there, HALF WAY. and the training s ending in just a few weeks, meaning the tests naturally come. anyways, prawning wasnt easy and it took an expert to come and teach us a few tips for us to catch on a consistent basis. before that, i was practically prawn feeding with the bait.

but after hooking them up, i felt sorry for them. we, humans, are banking on the lack of intelligence of animals for food. it s the cunning and merciless nature of us, to trick them, to tempt them, and to play with them. it s soooo sinful. when i pulled the prawns out, i saw them struggling, so alive, and i had to remove the hook, which often still has the bait on it. they didnt even get a last meal! how sad.

and worse, we pierce a satay stick right through them when they are still alive and kicking, and then throw them on the smoking bbq pit! burnt alive. so much for wanting to eat fresh seafood. and i had my retribution the next day - diarrhoea the whole day.

the highlight was suppose to be up next. carnivore at chijmes. really nice place, chijmes i mean. felt like a mini victorian village where people just drink and make merry behind stoned walls. great ambience. the food at carnivore was not bad too, but 45 bucks might be quite overpriced. ok maybe becuase i had too many prawns before that and didnt have much space for more meat. however, the grilled meat were skillfully cooked and seasoned, served hot and in right proportions. we were quite neglected since we were sitting inside. the meat were flying about in the open outside. it was good nevertheless.

left slightly earlier to meet up with family at city square farrer park where they had putien buffet dinner to celebrate my dad s birthday. was too stuffed to stuff more. couldnt even down a slice of cake when we got home.

spent the whole saturday diarrhoea-ing, but still managed to squeeze some time out to gym in a bid to get my fitness back. sunday was just slacking at home watching the phillipine drama series! lol. it was like 4 hours?? had dinner, booked in early and missed THE MATCH. liverpool lost but at least with dignity. my blood s always red. the free spirited and devil-free shade of red.

YNWA.

SICK

2010-09-14T16:21:00.004+08:00

it was a short week last week since it was family day last thursday, we were allowed to book out on a wednesday, and go to the zoo on thursday. i guess the pics on fb are self explanatory. it was quite interesting to visit the zoo after 10 donkey years. yea the last time i went there was to do my Young Zoologist Badge, like WOW ttm. anyway, the zoo s still the zoo, and i agree it s kinda gay to be looking at animals with a bunch of guys who would only think of ways to disturb the poor animals, or crack a joke out of anything. we would spend 1 minute at each attraction and walk away almost immediately. hahaha. guys are just guys.

i started to feel the symptoms that day and i knew i was going down. it s always the same, sore throat, the occasional and untimely sneeze and slight cough. you can feel it. and it sucks.

but i managed to hold it off for awhile, actually managed to have lunch with lois, gab, pin, ho and teo. burger at cine before resident evil late in the afternoon. it was quite bad. it gave me a prison break feel with wentworth miller in it, but damn fake. the calefares always die. how sad man. bumped into dr. jerome and caught up with him. could smell the freedom just by talking to him. the difference between someone deferring and someone in the thick of sewage.

broke up after the movie and had dinner with gab at hot tomatoes which is still reasonable in my opinion. bumped into ian chai who s gonna pop on the floating platform. and then went to walk walk, "retail therapy". nothing much.

saturday.. oh couldnt take it when i woke up. just went straight to polyclinic and i was excused from army half marathon. crap, missed such a big event. took the medicine, almost died on the bed, before waking up feeling kinda ok to go for class gathering at ms ye s house. queued for hokkien mee at bedok corner but was not complaining since i knew that was the norm, and arrived quite late. the atmosphere was quite dead and i couldnt add more life since i was already dying. i guess too many were absent. finally touched mahjong after quite some time but there wasnt much incentive to play properly (since no money involved!). just kept blocking.

otherwise, it was somewhat nice to see the class after quite some time and that night seemed a tad too short.

sunday, virus hit full blast and i just lay dead. went to doc for mc and he wanted to jab me since i was burning. 38.7. and i spent the next 2 days suffering in the spikes of the merciless virus. how to go back training like that??

found 2 pics in my phone. it was hui hui s birthday celeb at swensons.

pictures will be quite rare from now. gone were the days..

the gaze.

a beautiful mess

2010-09-05T20:24:00.002+08:00

i've been eating a lot. a lot. a hell lot.

had a xiao long bao buffet last week after bookout with my coursemates and instructors. partly to celebrate eugene's birthday and partly as a cohesion. it was quite a good session, and we ate till we almost exploded. i probably downed 30 baskets of xlb s all by myself in just over an hour, not to forget there was still the steamboat. crystal jade will close down if people like me patronise daily man. went back only to drop dead on my bed yet again. it s just the friday norm, after soc in the morning and another physically demanding thing in the afternoon.

went for a swim on sun followed by another buffet at sakura downtown east before booking in right away. the quality wasnt there, and the singaporean spirit was clearly portrayed there and then. i m never going back there again, especially since with the same cost, i can go for a hotel buffet. which i think, it ll be quite some time before i get the craving again. totally stuffed after last week.

this week, fri, aunt treated to imperial palace at tampines1. she ordered something like a 12 course meal, even better than a wedding dinner. the food was good but it was like another grenade in my stomach.

ah take a break from food, took my btt (FINALLY) on sat after waiting for like 3 months? passed it and i m gonna wait for another 3 months just to take ftt. crazy crazy wait.

headed down to city hall to meet up with ying lun, guan ming and jackston to jalan jalan before walking in circles trying to find raffles place. there s so many new things popping out in town and i had no clue until yesterday. it was an eye opener. suddenly singapore seem so big! ended up at raffles place and met up with reuben and his friends and went to marina promontory for Chunk Fest 2010. quite disappointed because 1. it s not free. 2. there was no atmosphere. 3. i spent $9 for 2 scoops when i could have bought a whole tub with that money. damn.

cruised around before finally deciding to eat at plaza sing, manhattan fish market. going to ps brought back many good memories. 1 year ago i was probably there for a movie, eating the indonesian food at the food court or bolognaise at pasta mania in sa uniform. anw, went home earlier since the rest were going for a party and i wasnt invited... :( haha jk jk, was quite tired after waking up early. usually sat is a day to sleep in and just rot at home, ok to recover from the whole week.

today, went for a swim again at civil service club changi and had a good and reasonable meal at the restaurant there before booking in. that s about it, life s been pretty much slow pace. it must speed up!!!

short week coming up!

a mountain

2010-08-23T20:50:00.003+08:00

mixed. i dunno whether to be happy or sad.

i returned to the arms of my loved ones last friday, feeling the warmth and togetherness, especially a dinner right after bookout at IKEA. it s always IKEA. i sat at the dining table, sometimes feeling like as if there s so much to say but in the end realising there s nothing to say.

after pondering on it for some time, i think i know what i wanted to say, now that i m typing this not from home. here it goes: i just wanna say i love all of them and am very grateful for everything they have done for me, being always there for me. even though every week i go home to be a nuisance to everyone (hahaha) the activities and events will always be build with respect to my schedule. today, i walk up the stairs, look down the corridor and feel this sense of emptiness. it s so quiet and eerie, with the occasional rain drop, the cool breeze blowing. i am reminded who are the ones that are ranked number 1 in my heart and it is in these times that they come to my mind first.

i slacked for the whole saturday, parking in front of the tv to watch the YOG and then decided to go for a swim. my dad offered to sent me to safra just as i was getting ready to take public transport. this is the time when the sound effect comes in : awwwwww.......

haha, but seriously, i m thankful for such great parents. my dad who drops all his work to send me back to camp and my mum who ll always prepare my book in stuff before anything else if i need and to my sisters who just irritate me all day long, asking me to spend money on them. yea i will, eventually, just not unnecessary money.

i feel sorry, and upset with myself. for not studying hard enough for the test today even though i spent the whole sunday on it, and for not really understanding my friends, exactly how they feel or what they are thinking. i simply assumed everyone s busy with their lives and we should just take a break. but when in fact, i have friends who are dying of boredom and loneliness, to revive that sense of belonging once more, to bring back the good old times. i am grateful for such friends. you know who you are. i ll make things happen, dun worry.

maybe life aint that bad afterall. sometimes, you just gotta push yourself harder, for the sake of a better tomorrow.

hi, i'm bored, and very boring.

2010-08-15T16:53:00.002+08:00

interesting week. tough but rewarding.

training was good, apart from some side effects. and my liver worked hard on thurs.

anyways, met up with the usual peeps on fri immediately after bookout to shop for yong pin s present. thanks to the mad rush to get out, i was in uniform and my phone was dying. before i manage to read the sms from huihui, it conked out. and so, i was stranded in raffles city, LOST once again. ah ok here s an interesting story:

i remember when i was about 5 or 6, i was lost there too. as a really kaypoh kid, i was looking at some kiddy performance schedule and when i turned back, everyone disappeared!! i remained calm and searched level 1 and b1 but couldnt find the adults. then i started to panic and the sour sour taste (yknow the taste prior to crying) started to overwhelm me. but as a good kid, i always had one 10cent coin and one 20cent coin in my little pocket and my aunt made sure we remembered all the crucial numbers, like 999, 995, the home number and her hp number. so i went to the nearest payphone to try and make a call. BUT i was too short!! i had to jump and hit the handset down before i can make a call. yep and i managed to get though and waited at the same place where they lost me. i think i cried like a baby when i met them again! hahaha! that s lost and found case 1.

now, fast forward probably 14 years, i was lost again, in the same place. no form of communication tool. not a single 10cent or 20cent coin. not a single PHONE NUMBER i can remember! hahahaha. i was dead. at least the sour sour taste wasnt there. luckily for me, my phone was good enough to let me switch it on and glance at huihui s number which i chanted for the next 15 minutes, just to embed it in my memory. i tried all the free hotel phones, but obviously cant. went to the swissotel and fairmount concierge but they were too busy with yog to care about me. so i went to raffles city concierge and asked politely for usage of their phone. yep and i was found again! lost and found case 2.

that was a bit of drama. but it s good, it makes you feel alive. situations, problems and more importantly, find the damn solution.

ok, and we travelled to marina for dinner at Changing Appetite which i had a really well prepared creamy sphagghetti with chicken and mushroom. it s like heaven after 11 hellish meals. enjoyed the time walking about, sitting at starbucks, playing some lame game and a late journey home.

had a FANTASTIC 12 hour sleep. it s the type of sleep you wake up and feel like doing a triatholon. nah but everywhere was still quite sore. watched 2 movies in the afternoon before going down to vivo to meet up for yong pin s birthday. decided on King Louis. nice place. good ambience, good food, and good price. the package was the real deal man. but the extra beer killed it off. $10 bucks extra!!! but in the end, i guess it was all worth it. brilliant night. moved to tiong bahru to present the present and finally went home again to catch chelsea thrash west brom 6-0.

badminton today, washed the car, and simply slacked. i need this rest for another hectic week coming up. ok that s about it. tata!

galore

2010-08-10T21:03:00.000+08:00

hello world! i cant remember where i stopped. i just know it was long long ago. but there s nothing much to update anyway. was quite busy for last weekend, studying for tests, doing admin stuff etc. oh oh, yea, i did went out. had a great buffet at Marriot Hotel i think after bookout on 30th. the quality of the food was good but not much variety. but still good overall!

there was a live range held over the following week and i couldnt get what i wanted. stupid mistakes cost you dearly. haiya, so i guess i was quite emo for that period. yea, but i think i ve gotten over it. thursday was half day! went home straight and headed down to vivo with family. nah, i didnt had buffet, but dinner was as good as buffet. indulged in the flavours of sinagpore at food republic. chicken wing, satay, beef hor fun, popiah, hokkien mee, char kway teow, ice kachang etc. just ate till perchar! never knew i missed singapore food that much even though i never left! went window shopping with the females as usual and my mum will try to teach me fashion. which always fail miserably. i m just a simple person trying to lead a simple life man!

anyways, the walkabout was good, even though i spent most of the times in tangs, f21, topshop, those shops that sell heels higher than ice kachang and many more. was dead tired and conked out on the way home. spent saturday and sunday with family. sunday playing badminton as usual and ran to Giant from the CC for lunch and stank up the whole place doing grocery shopping. went back, mahjong with granny and watched something decent on tv. it was about sun wukong speaking english.

yep, but monday was the fun day. met up with huihui for lunch and then lois to sing song, relieve stress. it was quite impromptu but some things dun need much planning. just go with the flow and everything will turn out great. and so, went in sian again, but at least it s a short week!

rough and tough

2010-07-25T18:19:00.002+08:00

past week wasnt smooth sailing. but pretty eventful.

we started a new phase. and the real thing started. but before that, i couldnt resist playing street during one of the nights and got whacked in the face by an arm while defending a shot. some part of my tongue was bitten off.

woke up the next day with a bad sore throat. so my entire mouth was killing me. but i still went gyming and resulted in soreness in every inch of muscle. the chin up regime started and my arms were about to explode. but then came the freak incident bayonet to stab my dear right palm 2cm deep. perhaps even deeper. no stitches required since the palm auto closes when left on its own. and so, i became a left hander since that day.

yep that just added to my list of injuries sustained over my very loooongg 19years. i m not careless, i m just plain stupid.

booked out and watched sorcerer's apprentice. it was an okay movie, the only thing that left an impact was the onerepublic song. secrets. i m hooked to it.

met up with reuben and gang after that at tcc clarke quay to chit chat till they chased us out close to 1am. it was not bad a ketchup session. had to take the nightrider home though. banged my head continuously on the window and seat until everyone behind me was laughing like mad. was dead tired that day. reached home close to 3 and slept till 2 the next day.

slacked at home till at night and went out for inception with ying and gang. brilliant show. no wonder it s movie of the year contender. managed to catch the last train home.

today, suppose to have a table outing but only 5 could go. in the end the 4 of us guys went to taka to walk and wisma to sit at starbucks. ok la, it was still not bad. the place brought back many good memories. and i had espresso frap finally in like 2 years! but that just reminded me how much i ve splurged for the past few days. still gotta pay for things in camp! going broke.

that s about it, gotta book in soon..

good week

2010-07-18T23:05:00.000+08:00

feeling a lot better over the past week.

actually, i looked back at the previous post and i cant justify what i posted. i cant remember why i was THAT sad or emo. maybe it was the early book in that caused the sian-ess and the feeling was exaggerated. yea i was unhappy about some stuff last week, dun ask me what because i cant put it into words.

anyways, i m happy this week because my effort paid off for ippt. havent ran for about a month and took an ippt. the result was - cannot jump, cannot run. trained hard for the next ippt and retained my gold and ahem some incentives. :D

had a good nights out on wednesday, accompanying my family.

the feeling of going shopping right after booking out on friday is awesome. not so much about the shopping, but just going out to walk, see and feel the world, and with having good company for dinner and just talking. it s nice.

and singing songs on saturday! celebrated huihui s birthday, with her not knowing it, since she ll never agree to it. songs, they facilitate the release of perhaps tension, or unhappiness within and bring fun and laughter when it s sung in a funny way. hahah especially when you cant really sing. laughing at yourself, laughing at your friend or just laughing at laughter. it s pure joy. dinner and had an interesting chat after that. it s seriously becoming a habit man. haha. good fun good company.

and doing stupid things at the garden festival at suntec on sunday with family was somehow becoming quite hard to come by. it was quite tiring to pose at every flower and leaf and cover 2 levels of plants! conked out on the way home. but it was fun to be someone not really yourself around people you know too well. you just do and say stupid things and the reaction will be totally unexpected.

ok i think i shall stop here and go to sleep soon!

till next week, tata.

stress

2010-07-11T19:39:00.003+08:00

can you imagine, despite putting in the effort, failure still haunts you, as if it's fate.
can you imagine, every action you make, every word you speak, someone s scrutinizing, waiting to pounce.
can you imagine, living in a world that offers no room for error.

how would you feel?

anyways, i had fish and co and marche this weekend as input, but not much output. that means i m gonna die on wednesday. how to run??

sent sam off at the airport on sat. sincerely hope she does well in aussie!

that s about it.

i don't feel right.

thurs, fri, sat, sun

2010-06-27T13:38:00.003+08:00

nothing much happened for the rest of the days. but still, the holiday is passable. speaking of holidays, i happen to flip through the forum that day and some mother was complaining about the schools eating up the school holidays. she even threw in the definition of holiday to argue. and if all goes well, i think she ll win. why didnt she start fighting a few years earlier man.

anyways, back to my mundane life. i watched ANOTHER movie on thurs. ip man 3. it wasnt as good as the first 2 but ok, good to watch. i cant believe they reused the same actor for a different role. that s damn cheapskate.

fri. oh it was supposed to be a family day. there was some plans to bbq but in the end NATO. (no action talk only) so we ended up visiting Marina Bay Sands. to be honest, the place is quite impressive. the architecture and the view. it gained some plus points whenever a cool breeze blew, coz it rained that morning. but many shops aint opened yet. all big names. just walked around, checked out the toilet at Paiza, the hotel. yea not bad. haha.

oh there s the YOG park also. they are doing some preparation for the opening ceromony i guess. and just across, they are preparing the road for the F1 coming up. singapore s damn busy.

anyways, we went back to marina square for dinner. so to make up for the failed bbq, we had yuki yaki. it was quite enjoyable for once. started inventing new dishes with whatever was provided. and of course, stomach was filled to the brim. shopped around for furniture and groceries at curry4 after that. it was quite a good day.

saturday. spent the whole day packing my stuff, getting ready to move house. from jurong, to paya lebar. the things are getting more and more. last time it was only BMT stuff. now there s BMT + OCS stuff. then next time, i will have BMT + OCS + AFTC stuff to bring home and to probably chong pang camp.

and i finally went to exercise! damn lazy. swam at safra for about an hour, felt good.

ok i m finally finally finally starting to learn a new skill, procrastinate too much. and IT is fun. but need lots of practise. till next week, tata.

an almost perfect day

2010-06-24T00:59:00.003+08:00

who cares about monday and tuesday when you ve got wednesday!

seriously, i cant remember what happened on monday and tuesday if you ask me now. yea, right now. ok lemme think.

oooo kkk.

monday. met up with huihui at changi international airport for mcdonald s breakfast at 10plus. then sam joined. and gabriel joined. then logs joined from a silkair plane. so the mainpoint was my SPINACH, which never came. instead, we had chicken and very nice mash potatoes and fries. quite a worthy trade. yep so anw, babarella came back with lots of mosquito bites which was kinda expected, slightly worse than coming back from pulau ubin aka the mosquito and sanflies breeding island. after much scratching, we packed her in a taxi and splitted up.

met up with family at a really weird place. farrer park city square. never been there before. but it s really nice and spacious with big name shops that sadly no one frequents. it would be a good hangout to be honest. had pizza for dinner and i actually bought a pair of jeans. it s like a miracle. a new piece of clothing that doesnt originate from SAF hanging in my closet in this period. wow.

tuesday. oh. aunt treated swensons and haagen daz. i was stuffed. should seriously start exercising man.

wednesday. aha. brilliant day. the reason why i m typing at this time, because i dun wanna forget this feeling and exactly what i thought.

collected certs back in sa. felt a little nostalgia. ok not that i had a lot of happy memories in school, but when i saw the pitch, i recalled how i was strutting during the track + sc vs teachers match. how the sun was setting at that moment, giving the oranje hue. and the red track that i ran like a dog 3 times a week. check the ground and you can find my sweat still there. the blue basketball court, the place we played our class captain ball. the canteen where i gobbled my favourite chicken rice and BANANA MILK. aww. the lecture theatres. damn, i kinda miss the bio lectures. the cc where i slept like crazy. hahaha. oh the TOILET! where i spend much of the time standing in front of the fan because it s only fan that can be fixed!

haiya, but you go back, think of all the great times, only to receive something that doesnt make you feel great. i dunno how to put it. but unfortunately, even if i turn back time 1 year ago, i would still do the same, because i ve done my best in the time i had. j1 killed everything. that s the reason why i keep telling my juniors to go study whenever i see them. especially ryan. i must save private ryan!

back to reality. and some fun. we migrated to marina square kbox to relive an illegal session 2 years ago, about the same time. it was fun. even though i cant sing. i managed to make some noises that some how resembled some music, i hope. hah! yea gotta agree with gay, it was abit too short.

travelled back to tampines to watch TWO movies in a row at gv with aunt and sis. TOY STORY 3. the front was kinda slow, but everything fell nicely in the end. it s worthy of probably a 4.5 star. there was this particular scene when the boy finally decided to give away his toys. and i had to hold back some tears then - because i understood how he felt. i can decide to act MAN and laugh it off but learning to confront the feeling requires some real courage. it s about how you become attached to the items that helped you grow up, spend your precious childhood, and how you finally outgrow them. we were all kids. we played with toys, ran around the house like no one s business, role played and rolled all over the floor, and i have to say i had fun doing those lame stuff and i loved my toys. it was the only time of carefree and letting loose.

there was this point the boy made that struck me: the toys, they will always be there for you.

it s not all about the toys. it s about how WE should be like the toys, how we should be there for one another in times of need and be the pillar or crying shoulder for the people around you. especially since now we (ok maybe just me) i dun talk to toys anymore, i talk to people. i dunno about you, but i had a reasonably good childhood, so i felt it.

next up was KARATE KID. 2 hour 20 min. worth it. a good ending, but it was all expected. perhaps the way the good guy won was eye catching, and that s why it s good. hahah but it kinda got me a little hyped up to do some BCCT aka basic close combat training. i was looking forward to Intermediate CCT in army ocs but now... air force. nope. anyway the movie was cool.

yep that s it. a day of entertainment. brilliant day. this is block leave. :D

a chapter concluded.

2010-06-20T15:02:00.002+08:00

there goes another phase. i ve completed somewhat, another bmt.

here s the breakdown:

6 feb 10 +
9 weeks bmt in tekong
1 week block leave
19 april 10 +
2 weeks clm in safti ocs
7 weeks afst in safti ocs
1 week block leave

soon to come:
28 june 10 +
26 weeks afpt in aftc
3 weeks joint term in safti ocs

= COMMISSIONING

ok, that s being positive, and STILL assuming, my knee doesnt give way, i dun do stupid things, and i dun have baygon sprayed all over me.

looking back, it has been 20 weeks in NS! that s an astonishing approximate 5 months. i dunno whether i can declare "time flew" because it didnt quite fly by THAT quickly. it required some amount of praying that the day ends faster, some gritting of the teeth, some trembling of the limbs and quite a significant amount of merrymaking. hahaha. it has been significant.

the last week in safti was er... erm... not so challenging. social night on friday and it was okay. rounded up the term with the closer friends i made in afst, which werent that many, but i m prepared to form some covalent bonds with the gbad guys.

all i m doing now is slacking. so, ask me out next week, before i start to rot at home!

enjoy life people!

a real weekend. for once.

2010-06-13T21:52:00.002+08:00

thanks all for the birthday wishes! appreciate every single one of them.

one year older now. and i guess i m on the steeper part of the exponential learning curve. been gaining some vital life lessons for the past year. chionging hard for A s, chionging hard for the soccer ball, chionging up the hill with my rifle and my buddy. basically chionging. learnt a lot for the 4 months in NS now. mainly learning to be independent, dealing with people of different social backgrounds and sucking my thumb. real hard.

worked hard during the weekdays and had a well deserved break over the weekend. booked out on friday after scrubbing the toilet bowl as usual, and had a boomz buffet dinner at The Line, Shangri la, with the first match of the 2010 FIFA World Cup screening while i chomp away in a brilliant setting. That s life man.

And i had a nice undisrupted sleep on my comfortable bed with the air con blowing that night. When i woke up, i had no homework! Spent the whole day storming down orchard area. i had a good time actually. even though it was quite tiring.

sunday was just as good. nice sleep, good family breakfast and lunch, then had a karaoke session with the guitar and piano, laughed at Babarela on xinmsn and packed up to head to jurong for sakae dinner. and finally here i am, contented with a full stomach, mentally recharged, physically rested, ready to sprint the last stretch, the last week in safti.

life, oh life.

all alone

2010-06-06T18:30:00.002+08:00

i have been typing for the whole day now, so i think i shall keep this short to spare my eyes from further damage done by the computer monitor.

the past week seemed damn long.

my buddy left. we had a long heart to heart talk on the last night and i realised the best thing that happened to me since the start of air force service term was to have him as a room mate. we are somewhat similar in many ways, the only difference lies in that he has a hell lot more life experience and made decisions that i have to make soon. being at the cross roads of life, it is fortunate for me to have some valuable advice thrown down by a senior. it was a good night.

i met another good fella on friday. he was another senior. and the tips and preview he gave gave me some mental preparation for what to come. it isnt gonna be easy but still it wouldnt be as depressing as what the army guys are going through. they seem so... sad. even if they dun manage to pull through, they have already earned my respect. just compare to some others.. i can only sigh.

celebrated my birthday which still has a countdown on everyday s newspapers (there is only one countdown at the moment) on saturday with gay, ape and 2 nineteen year olds. haha we are really running out of ideas. but it was something new in a way. i was dead tired yesterday so pardon my lethargy and sianess. thanks peeps for everything.

the PROJECT. chionged till 3am yesterday but i still couldnt complete. fell asleep while doing it. seriously exhausted. finally completed it about an hour ago.

checked my knee. it should be fine. i just need to do a Jamie Carragher for the moment. Capello just have to come at the right moment.

i still havent found a solution to the problem for next friday. and i have to find soon. real soon.

everyday, there s this feeling. i cant really describe. it s a mixture of wanting to cry, wanting to shout, wanting to grab something but there s nothing to grab, wanting to swallow something sweet but the taste s only sour. It s just so damn complex is frustrating.

just sigh.

maybe it's time for miracles.

2010-05-30T16:14:00.003+08:00

feeling sick.
feeling tired.

Pitstop

2010-05-23T16:32:00.003+08:00

Short book out. Had fun yesterday at Pitstop, Clarke Quay to celebrate logs birthday. Havent felt so let loose and liberal for a long time now. I simply enjoyed the session. Nothing else to say but looking forward to the long weekend! It's quite a physically demanding week coming up but..

let's go!

week 4 and counting

2010-05-16T17:24:00.002+08:00

i was back at pulau ubin for three days to donate blood. it was a tiring continuous session. but nothing compared to what my friends in green are going through, or gonna go through. anyways, i gotta make some plans soon. everyone else is.

finally had a decent weekend. went to town yesterday to meet friends. caught FeMan II at the Cathay with yinglun, jeremy + gf, and reuben. had a brilliant ketchup session with them. after ying lun s sharing, i m grateful for what i m given. not taking anything for granted.

that s about it i guess. oh yea, visited the doc just now to get some medicine. no way i m gonna miss lectures. it s like back to studying all over again.

life s good.
thank you.
hope everyone else s doing fine.

let s goooo! another week!

chapter II

2010-05-08T17:16:00.004+08:00

hello world. i survived 3 weeks.

i cant say much about what went on for the past 3 weeks. but i can say that i m no more green. but now blue. ok maybe i m still partially green in some sense, but i m officially and technically blue from now onwards.

i m halting here for a while.
because i have to think before typing.

ok.

learnt quite a bit so far. missed life on the outside, missed people, thought about stuff and went through some tough times. both physically and mentally. but more of mental. for once, i had to pause, take out a book and a pen, list out problems and come up with solutions. and everyday i attempt to apply them.

it s a new dimension of challenge. trapped within a boundary of unfamiliar scenarios, feeling uncomfortable. but it s a stage of becoming independent and facing the real world. the artificial environment created for me since i was born has finally collapsed. there s no longer maternal wings to hide beneath, no longer filtering walls of separation, no longer shields of steel to take the blows. i stand alone.

a new chapter has begun.

but you'll never walk alone.

a new journey

2010-04-18T22:44:00.007+08:00

and so... that s the end of block leave. just a wink of the eye. all i did was - slack.

ok put in a positive way, it s called resting and recuperating. but, it wasnt 100% recuperating. in fact i made life even more difficult for myself. had cage on thursday with section and slayers. and yep, in the midst of a heroic block, i sprained my right ankle yet again. at least it s a lot better now.

had lunch with slayers at kallang and then went for a rather nice relaxing stroll around the shopping malls in tampines alone. ok it wasnt a stroll because i was hobbling about, but still it was just a period of solitude and peace. went to times for some glancing of books and hobbled home for dinner.

friday was posting results day. and i got ocs. feelings? excited perhaps. glad that i ve been given a chance to do something right for once. i guess i should be fine if i dun come back here and announce my right knee gave way, or my back broke or i sprained both ankles for the 4073288th time. short term goal - get through 3 weeks confinement.

class dinner at handburger that night. comforting to see most of the class doing ok and good to catch up with some of them. had an aptitude test the next morning, wont expect much in return.

sat, supposedly a clique outing, lunch at jack s at marina and then kick ass movie. funny show but i was more obsessed with the salted popcorn. hahaha. havent tasted it for a long long long time. sorry peeps if i hogged it for too long!

haha caught this on the way home on friday night. the boy was really adorable. he was sitting there holding his sketchbook and colour pencils, wanting to close his eyes, but still looking around, then closed gradually, then opened and look around before finally closing in peace. the innocence is priceless. i never remembered being that tired to be able to fall asleep sitting on the floor after probably an art class? and when the train reached their stop, the mom stood up and just walked to the door before realising her boy was still there. she called out softly and he jumped awake, rubbing his eyes and without a word of complain or reluctance, he duly followed his mom.

should i say maturity at such a young age?

up to you to guage.

sunday. last day out. settled the stuff left and had a last meal with family. ok getting tired now, going to sleeeeeeeppp!

cya in 3 weeks time. i hope. :)

i'm officially missing you.

.. as always.

pop

2010-04-14T23:04:00.003+08:00

hmm so my bmt journey ended last friday. but honestly speaking, i dun feel like i have accomplished something great. no, not that bmt wasnt tough. in fact it was quite tough. it s just that i think there are much worse torturing to face and overcome, and this is just a miniature step. 1 year 8 months more. that s 20 more months to go.

ok ok let s be a liiiiiilllllltttttttllleee bit more cheerful. i completed 24km route march. that s a WOW factor. it was quite bad at that time. but looking back, it s not that bad. apart from the after effects of the march, which includes a migraine on the right side of my head, burning temperature, heat rashes, abrasions, blisters, back aches, and fatigue, it isnt that bad. i havent collapsed yet, which means, my mind was still in control, which means i could still walk further!

yea call me nuts.

anyways, block leave has been pretty much quite boring. slept my whole saturday away, ok throw in a bit of mahjong. then chalet on sunday with section 2. rundown place but spacious and it was quite a good gathering overall. blasted the place with my amp, someone brought a ps2, the bbq was not bad, there was drunk action and we had some sleep. so, everything was pretty much in place. really proud to find a diamond in the section. self sacrificial, organised, loyal, funny and a gentleman. rare rare rare. i hardly had to do anything for once at all. thanks marcus.

tue, accompanied mom to hospital for operation. everything s well. wed, met ying lun and went for nationals at cck stadium. sa did well. fantastic job. then had a mad rush hour with ying lun and nic kang since the commando was going to be late for book in. 30 buck cab ride. thrilling.

one thing i wanted to type about for quite some time. i just dun geddit. what do people actually see? seriously. virtues? or they just cant see them? or they ignore them? or they interpret them so damn differently? i really have no clue. what s wrong with the world?

read a book, read between the lines, see behind the words, get the basis, get to what the hell the book is about. see something good, like it. see something bad, hate it. simple as that. why are there people who read incorrigible books and still love them? what do they see in such a book? are there no distinct universal catergories for good and bad?

lights out: zero eight zero zero

2010-04-03T15:15:00.004+08:00

hello. didnt have time to update last week and last week seemed a long long time ago, too long for me to even remember what happened. there was swensons with the class thanks to the generous mr tan. oh and i actually booked out on a friday night after a 16 click route march. miracles happen.

haha another miracle happened 2 days back: we were the first to book out, meaning a long weekend. and so we made plans for a good night out as a section on a very Good Friday. met up with slayers for clash of the titans at lido but i had to pang seh them for lan to meet up with p3s2. had this " oh so familiar " feeling when i was with them, sad to miss the lan session. but there will be other times i m sure.

and so, i met marcus and syafiq then lim wee came along at orchard mrt. bussed to zouk and had a hellavu night. if you are imagining me dancing like a mad dog then please halt. party started quite late but it was at most 20 min of high-ness and it was the beginning of a pretty amazing night. shallnt go into details but i was almost moved to tears by someone i see practically almost every day now. the revelations, confessions or simply what came from the bottom of the heart. when the cerebral doesnt control the gate to secrets, or pent up feelings or the stuff in the stomach, literally everything comes out.

last night i witnessed

loyalty
passion
friendship
brotherhood
determination
selflessness and ...

love.

i learnt something. everything you do has an impact on someone else. everything. every single little thing.
and the previous post is justified.

it's not what you leave behind,
but what you are about to gain.

locks

2010-03-21T15:16:00.002+08:00

you get to see the true person,
when the locks obstructing are removed.

an eye-opener indeed.

the alphabet that ranged from letter A to letter U

2010-03-14T14:47:00.004+08:00

hmm i probably had one of the worst week of my life. both mentally and physically. but i guess others had it worse on their bodies. the fever was bad, but the mental torture was badder.

i dun think i displayed any signs of depression or suicidal thoughts though. haha. perhaps, it could be what was predicted or thought as positive and a blessing in disguise. a time offerred to me as a period of reflection, and a duration of confession of what i truly thought about myself. whether anyone else understood was an entire different matter.

but i guess, this is growing up. when you ve gone through real shit, and survived it. you ve grown up. that s life. just accept things, take it into stride and keep moving. there s always a way out. if not, just keep digging under till you find one. there are many other things to look forward to not just those to dwell upon.

let's go!

TO THE LIMIT? IT'S BEYOND LIMITS.

2010-02-21T17:03:00.002+08:00

LIFE'S GOOD!

i woke up this morning feeling awesome. well it s not that i suddenly went bonkers in order to get this feeling. but when i thought about how life was the day before and i compare it to today, i m just glad.

and yea, i realised i ve been way too dreary. let s start looking on the bright side of life for once.

and weekends, rock. no, actually i m referring to saturday afternoons to sunday evenings. and that s good enough. always better than nothing. :D

be appreciative.

a brand new kind of life

2010-02-14T01:49:00.005+08:00

i survived. that s about all that i can say. learnt many valuable lessons in the past week, the type that people term as life lessons. but i guess the most important thing i learnt is to not take anything for granted. be thankful, always. be appreciative. be glad that life is good. tomorrow can be worse. or there might well be no tomorrow at all.

should i say i was complacent? or confident?

anyways, put the serious stuff aside. it s time for the festive mood! CNY. reunion dinner today, hardly a reunion at all. just the usual people that appear during weekends. tomorrow should be better, i hope. dun be too confident about it, expect less, anything more will be a surprise. a pleasant one.

kiddos all grown up. and now i m ranked lower than them. it s like taking the prelims for 4 years, and now, i m taking the final examination for 2 years. i can say that, the prelims are way easier than the final exam. but at least, i braced myself for it.

just 8 more times. in the mean time, i have to decide, whether i want more of it. am i up for the challenge? i know now, it definitely is.

valentines day.

i miss japan and bintan.
and a life.

TIM

2010-02-06T00:14:00.002+08:00

this post is dedicated to Hahn Dong Seok.

because to him, i can only express remorse and regret. if i ever made a promise, i ll stay true to it. i mean my word. BUT, i broke not 1, not 2 but 3 promises i made to tim. i m so ashamed.

so tim, if you still remember (i highly suspect you dun), please forgive me.

the promises were:

ONE : Plan Z. we'll sit by that cambodian beach and watch the sunrise.

TWO: i will organise an all guys outing.

THREE: i m suppose to tell you something when the time is right, because you told me yours.

i fulfilled none. i suppose i can make amends by changing the beach to the one at ECP or pasir ris park. the poker nights should make up for 2. and 3, i ll say, the time aint right. or maybe it was, you know, but you missed the auspicious hour. anyway, sorry dude.

going in tomorrow. completed tasks like going to chinatown for the festive mood, done with all the cleaning, installing football frenzy, and a good dinner with the 5. alright that s about it. bring on the new challenge! if it even is.

negative, over.

the unsolved puzzle.

2010-02-03T01:03:00.003+08:00

i'm smiling as i type, because somebody lighted up the rest of my night. thank you.

life is a path lined with rough rocks. it ain't easy to stroll down the path. there are bound to be obstacles. times that you fall and your knees are scraped and bleeding. times that you rise from the falls and heed the wounds. and there are times that you stand tall and look back, looking at how far you've come. looking at the amount of blood, sweat and tears shed and what they were shed for. it's amazing to realize what are the things you put in effort for, trying to make it all right, the things that you care for. and also to find out the many times that things didn't go your way, didn't go as planned. perhaps, it's fate. maybe, that rocky path was there all the while, you are just walking down a one-way street. or maybe, you can create your own path.

i don't know.

but i know something. if you don't try, you never know it might be possible. just try. make it your best shot. and someday, you might just create the path you wanted all along.

i tried. so hard that i'm tired.
then i wonder. perhaps, it's really fate.

only time will tell, or has it been told?

am i fated to fall and never stand up again??

since that night, i couldnt sleep.

2010-02-01T21:27:00.002+08:00

just completed another book. it s like watching another movie. speaking of movies, watched Blind Side last week. it was good. ok, almost any movie would be good after abstaining for a month.

life s pretty boring. and everyone make it seem like i m gonna die in a few days time. which is true to a certain extent. no more civilian life. but i m kinda glad in a way. being a student for two thirds of your life, suddenly, the occupation blank changes its content. that s something new.

let s grow up, it s time to be fully independent. serve the nation dudes!

the rotting days..

2010-01-26T14:37:00.005+08:00

as promised, i m supposed to blog about bintan. but since the pics are already on fb, and since a picture paints a thousand words, and since there are 93 pics (i think), that means 93 000 words, i should save some crap here. basically, we just slacked.

the highlights were:

1. ying lun and jun jie puking and shitting at the same time on Wan Seri Beni (the ferry) due to violent turbulence, eating a cup noodle and puking instantly.

2. ying lun got scammed at a restaurant at the shopping village Oleh Oleh.
the story:
he ordered Kampung Nasi Goreng.
i ordered Kampung Nasi Goreng, sama sama.
the food came.
ying lun got Kampung Nasi Goreng (fried rice).
i got Kampung Nasi Goreng SPESIAL (fried rice PLUS nice and big deep fried chicken wing).
the best part, Kampung Nasi Goreng and Kampung Nasi Goreng SPESIAL, both sama sama, S$5. ying lun went wtf. LOL.
so, ever since, everywhere we went for meals, we always ordered the SPESIAL version, hoping there will be a free chicken wing. hahaha. even the petrol, SPESIAL price, got free chicken wing added to the petrol tank.

3. jun jie s favourite phrase to chase everyone. since moving slowly is termed as slowly, to move faster, we should move fastly. FASTLY ftw.

4. all we did was to bask by the poolside and played water polo in the afternoons. everyone became black after that.

5. roller coaster ride at night. in the taxi. almost died. no lights, not even traffic lights, no seat belt.

6. watched a marathon of matches in the room.

7. and owe yew tong 25 points in hearts.

yep that s about it. the ride home was safe. managed to sleep, nice and smooth.

and after coming back, it was just spring cleaning almost every day or just reading jeffery deaver s books. loved roadside crosses. great read.

spent $17 on newton hawker food with 5 minus 1. went back to visit the kiddos too. all grown up. but quite screwed up. will go again probably next week before going to another island.

ok gotta work now. cage.

back from bintan

2010-01-19T23:07:00.002+08:00

hello. back from bintan. was back on sunday, but didnt spawn till today. shall summarize the whole trip in a few words and upload some photos (maybe) another day.

it was good, if not, great. i dun think i m giving credit to the place, but to the company. ok maybe some credit to the venue, giving us the chance to get away from the hustle and bustle, just lying on the long ratan chair, enjoying the sea breeze and warm sun. it was a brilliant trip with lovely people. fun filled shit. hahah i love the new terms created. ok ok i shall upload some pics and account the whole thing for memory sake. that s what this blog is for anyway.

cage today. dead tiring. gave it my all, upped the game. nice session.

spring cleaning commences tomorrow i guess. or maybe the day after. gotta offer my free services. that s about it. till i m free, ta.

i will go nuts, that is,
if you haven't driven me.

New Year

2010-01-13T01:03:00.006+08:00

One-twentifourth of the new year 2010 has gone and i m still here uploading pictures of fireworks.

Went to the Flyer with buddies yinglun, junjie and jeremy. there was zero atmosphere. everyone at the Flyer whipped out their cameras and just videoed the whole thing. hardly any cheering, or people going wild. just mr. su making those weird noises. hahaha. yea but that s what the countdown s for right? just make a fool of yourself. the bangla workers certainly enjoyed themselves, hogging the dancefloor. that s working hard in 2009, playing harder in 2010.

anyways, life s pretty stale. recent events.. hmm not much of a big deal. movies!! i only watched one. Sherlock Holmes last year. not bad, liked the smartness and the action. yea apart from that, i just stoned my life away. helped my aunt play some mahjong and that s probably my only income. but it s really good money. sit there and enjoy the entertainment throughout the night, and it works for nightbirds like me. the others are already half dead, or anger levels hitting sky high and just cant let the tiles do the talking. the only drawback is, i m blogging at this time of the night. can only sleep at 5am.

met up with lois and yong pin to get gabriel s stuff to cover his head and sent him off soon after dinner at Wakami? Watari? ah some Jap restaurant at Central. then went for a drink at clark quay. money just thrown down the gullet within seconds. ouch! i can gurantee you wont find me there often.

been training everyday either for NS or soccer. just had 2 matches, 1 official 1 training match. beat Reddy City 6-2. i loved the performance. the defence was good. was reading the team blog and realised how much we have grown. physically and mentally and cohesiveness. physically, dun have to say, can see la. sji buddies all grown from scrawny kids to musclemen. mentally, the thought processes, the way we think, the way we blogged, the way we settled disputes. cohesiveness. that s the main thing. read the top, "Established in 2006". That s almost 4 years. we have seen players come and go, the ex members list is getting longer and longer, but look at the current squad. the core is always there. these are the people who will stick with you through thick and thin. they are the ones who share your joy and sorrows and grow up with you. they are the ones who make fun of you, but you know and they know it s all in the name of fun. it s a fellowship. it s a brothership. wonderful bunch of guys i have here. from the times we kicked balls at the back of the class, hid in the classroom and got screwed by the HOD, got chased out by the old man at Dempsey, stranded at the furniture shop due to the downpour, got thrashed 5-0 and became a laughing stock, had slippers and shoes stolen at the chalet, played cards throughout the night, covered your ass when you missed the ball and cheered for you when you finally did something right. these are the ones. Chien Ming, Shawn, Ying Lun, Jun Jie, Zi Xiang, Reuben, Jeremy, Christopher, and yes you Ting Soon. you too. partners in crime, brothers for life.

aww. got me all emotional. was clearing my room the other time and stumbled upon stuff from NCC. the admin stuff, my own shooting targets, relay systems, and letters. letters from my partmates and the kiddos. while the bonds between the part wasnt that strong, it was still some good time reminiscing. and time i will look forward to in my next 2 years. what s there to fear in army? the kiddos. haha, they write some inspirational stuff too. well wishes for O level, words of thanks and encouragement and crap that was still worth smiling for. it made me look back and think, hell yea, i couldnt have done any better, i would still do the same if i turn back time. i wouldnt knock them down still, i would still teach all the drills and songs, maintain the tradition, and let them know everything i knew. that s the problem with SJI. they give you the chance to be moulded by others and let you mould others. everyone is a leader and a man for others. no regrets.

track chalet last week before the match. it was.. uncomparable to the previous one of course. just touch rugby, soccer, soaking in the pool, dinner at Carls, cards all night, 1 hour of wink, and Mac breakfast. that s it. ah well. tim's farewell, waited for peeps and went late. it was erm kinda disappointing but oh well again.

ok, enough of looking back for the time being. time to look forward. Bintan trip coming up! hope to have even better time with my buddies!

you are busy,

always always so busy.

JAPAN

2010-01-09T23:57:00.000+08:00

Finally, i m done with uploading all the photos i wanna upload for the Japan trip. It took days!!!

Before reading on (that is if you bother to do so),there are some erm lets say, warnings or maybe just points to note.

1. This post is longer than the great wall of china.

2. Not all pictures are posted, it s just a small sample out of the 2700+ photos taken.

3. The pictures have gone through the process of censoring, because no old man's face can appear, only selected pictures of a middleaged woman, and minimal same generation pictures can appear.

4. That means, all the pictures will contain either me, or the scenary. so, if you are sick of it, just click the X button on the top right hand corner of the screen.

5. I will look practically the same in all pictures because i have only ONE pathetic set of outer wear. (dun worry i changed my underwear)

6. This is a record breaking feat: i never had so many photos taken in my entire life. thank you very much.

Let's go! Japan 2009.

13 December 09, Sunday

Set off for our dearest Changi International Airport.

Had dinner in transit.

Yep, it was an A380. Promotion la.

First time taking SIA, see how sad. So, i made sure i made full use of the entertainment and watched movie after movie within the 8 hour flight. Watched GI Joe which was quite the normal action pack movie. Watched Pixar's Up too. and i gotta agree that it s really a brilliant movie. 5 popcorns. Emotion connecting and audience relation. Ah, cant remember what else i watched.

14 December 09, Monday

Sun rise and we reached Narita Airport soon after. Oh, and i saw someone who looked like xunqi, really scary. It s amazing how people can look so similar, despite coming from different origins.

And we took our baggage and took train after train from Narita to Osaka.

Somewhere along the way, we waited 55 minutes for a train which never came as it met with an accident. So, we walked from the station all the way to our hotel, dragging the gigantic luggages on the streets.

Took a short rest before setting off to explore the hotel's vicinity.

And had Japansese curry rice for dinner.

Santa was either dancing with rudolf or fighting with it outside a Pachinko shop.

See all the metal ball bearings, they are like the chips for gambling.The Japs love the game, it s all over Japan because casino s forbidden.

They are ever eco friendly, with lines of bicycles along pavements, mostly unlocked.

Litter is rare, but dustbins are rarer. They keep their wastes in their pocket and find bins that are big enough to shove it in. Obviously this one can barely contain much, see the diao face. -_-

Just 3 statues.

Zebra stripes are long

15 December 09, Tuesday

Train station just outside hotel

We were on the way to Osaka Castle

And passed by some science museum i guess which looked kinda gross lol

here comes the food!

Ate along the way. Some small shop seem to be specializing in curry noodle.

Had to walk through a park to get to the castle

A park with beautiful autumn leaves even in winter

They failed the jump

Ok, that s the name of the park.

Finally at the entrance of the castle

The water is meant for people btw

The main building

Chiong ah!!!!

On the way out

To the Osaka Aquarium

Just by the port

Haha, this jelly fish represents the entire population in the aquarium, because i m too lazy to upload the rest

The Japanese are the most thoughtful inventors, especially in toilet technology. Hand dryer IN the sink. Oh and the bidet toilet bowls, they are ubiquitous

The wheel lights up at night

aquatic animals celebrating Christmas

Colonel Sanders celebrating Christmas

Left the aquarium in search of food

Actually it was suppose to be in search of the Christmas lighting, since they had some festival of lights

But parted with some cash at these street stalls in exchange for snacks like bacon and cheese sausages, simply irresistable

Finally at the main attraction

And late late dinner at the shopping centre near the hotel

16 December 09, Wednesday

Off to Kyoto!

Special carriage for women at certain times

Just outside the Kyoto Station

Bought a bus pass to ride around Kyoto

First stop: Imperial Palace

Nobody wanted to take photo with me, so i took with my dear bagpack that contains everybody's belongings. money, shoes, coats, makeup, water etc. just the representation of a family photo.

outside the palace

quick lunch before the guided tour

katsu don i think

the tour begins

Da Ren and Xiao Ren, how sad, kids are called xiao ren. And the bus entrance is via the back door. People will have to squeeze their way to the front to show the bus driver the pass before alighting. One time experience is more than enough.

Er, haha i forgot the name of this temple, i think it s Kiyomizudera Temple

Brilliant scenary as it is located all the way on the top of the hill

Fantastic for artistic photos

This is one of my favourites

Many high school kids climb all the way up just for this. haha i did it for fun too.

On the way down

Look at the time and look at the sky, that s winter time

17 December 09, Thursday

On the way to Kobe, changed train and stop by a shopping centre for lunch

had the most OISHII SUSHI ever

the ebi fry sushi is simply delicious. they set super high standards. fabulous stuff.

Mosaic shopping centre

But, we came here for this. SEAFOOD BOOOOOFFFAAATTTTT

We just ate and ate and ate. Comparative advantage.

18 December 09, Friday

Time to move. Checked out of Swissotel.

Headed for Tokyo

Caught a bug and slept on the bullet train

Passed Mt. Fuji

Checked into Mercure Hotel Ginza

Had the best ramen in the world for dinner!

Ippudo Ramen

Very tasty

Visited Akihabara, the Electric City where there was the latest Jap electronics after dinner. Had to be sardine packed in the train as it was peak hour. Went to see see only, everything was expensive.

19 December 09, Saturday

That s Chuo Street of Ginza, the street that boasts all the big brands. Chanel, Tiffany & co., Louis Vuitton all at our door step.

Bought a 1 day subway pass and travelled to Asakusa

Famous for its temple

Yea, the Red Lattern

They follow the Chinese zodiac too. Year of the Tiger coming up

Next up, to Ueno

Ameyoko's like a flea market, selling all kinds of stufff

Ueno Park

Next, to Roppongi Hills

Nice sunset with the Tokyo Tower standing out

Roppongi Hills is the futuristic Japan with modern skyscrapers built by Japan's own Donald Trump, who isnt famousenough for me to remember his name

And we walked from there past the Singapore embassy, Singapore Restaurant, and haha St. Andrew's church. Japanese are mostly Buddhists but turn Christians in December.

To the Tokyo Tower

Had to queue like mad to get up, just to get pictures of buildings in the dark. The only outstanding feature was the Rainbow Bridge in Pallete Town. YES that s where Pokemon originated. They have a Pokemon Centre there but we didnt have time to visit Odaiba.

Many couples were just waiting for this

Was famished and hunted for Yakitori. But forgot to take pictures of the food.

Except this! How sad. Mother didnt like the place as it was a bar with people smoking. So the mood was dampened. Yakitori is usually eaten with beer in bars.

Since Yakitori wasnt enough (damn ex!!) we had to turn to our international best friend - Mr. M for Mr. Money McDonald's

20 December 09, Sunday

Harajuku was the destination.

First stop: Meiji Shrine

We were lucky enough to catch a wedding. Eh no, it was 2 weddings.

Then we walked to the park next door. Yoyogi Park where all the weirdoes like this group perform acts. We went too early and only caught 3 acts, the band performing on the side walk was good. the other groups were just starting to set up when we left.

Then there was this whole land space for shops selling youngsters stuff. It was like the Bugis Street of Japan. Sadly, the price isnt the same as Bugis Street. In the end we only spent at Daiso, everything at $1 plus.

Lunch. Tempura Rice!

Cheap, comparatively and good.

Was looking for some shops but some went missing, Probably closed down.

Left Harajuku for Shibuya via their Yamanote circle line to the Hachiko Square, busiest pedestrian crossing in the world. it s like going into a war trying to cross the street.

Haha. dinner was the DIY BBQ.

something like Seoul Garden. but BETTER!

I wasnt the most stupid looking wearing the cake hat at Tokyu Hands near our hotel. my sis's specs was ultimate, too bad cant post.

21 December 09, Monday

Mt. Fuji tastes great! Better than ice kachang.

Joined the hotel's Gray Line Tour to Mt. Fuji and Hakone. There was some hoo haa in the morning as my dad forgot to bring the cam battery and we had to make a mad rush for it with the tour bus waiting. That s the problem with tours, never liked it. Too bad it was unrealistic to cab to Mt Fuji, take a few photos and go back, so we had to bear with it. Oh and the tap at the viewing place had no water, because the temperature was 0 degrees Celsius and even pee turns into ice. How cool! Literally.

At least the lunch was good. It was at some hotel in Hakone. Beautiful place to live.

Took the cable car over the volcanoes.

To a place obviously to scam tourists with black eggs.

One of the best shots of Mt. Fuji.

We had to climb all the way up the hill to buy the black eggs which was basically CHICKEN EGGS dyed black, similar to what the Chinese would do for birthday red eggs. 1 black egg s suppose to prolong your life by 7 years, 2 gives you 14 more years, 3 gives you a stomachache.

Oh and the sulphur was bad. Talk about controlling greenhouse gases in Kyoto when Hakone volcanoes fart so badly and they still wanna mine them to release even more.

100 yen per egg. That s $1 plus per egg.

Ah.. after getting off the smelly mountains, it s all peace and fresh air in Hakone. Too bad no one wanted to see naked men in the hot springs.

So we went for a river cruise instead.

For the view and the chilly cold air.

Yep that was about it, the tour. The bus took us back to our hotel (fortunately) or else we had to squeeze like sardines again in the JR trains at the peak hour. The other peeps who didnt stay at Mercure had to find their own way back after dropping them at some station.

oh this was interesting. it s the sign board of a restaurant just outside our hotel. it s 2 men and a woman, can you see it?

Had Yoshinoya for dinner which was ... just Yoshinoya. Dun worry, the Singapore branches didnt short change us with the beef bowls.

But it wasnt enough for me so i went to buy cheaper Yakitori near the Yurakucho Station. I actually conversed in Japanese! hahaha it was quite fun actually, asking for an English menu and da pau back to the hotel. Takeout-to!

22 December 09, Tuesday

Yep, Disneyland.

If only we could stay there, the Disneyland hotel.

oK, basically we went there hoping to relive the experience we had at Movie World or Sea World or DREAM WORLD in Goldcoast. Taking pants wetting rides, jaw dropping drops, or horrifying stunts. But.. we were sorely disappointed. Instead there were more kids than screams. The scariest thing there was Stitch.

However, the turkey drumstick didnt disappoint. That was for lunch. A $8 drumstick.

I shall be honest and say i liked Disneyland's experience. Despite not having those rides, it s like a magical place - for kids. The parades were brilliant. You know where all the Disney characters come out dancing in their fanciful costumes. The dancers were ever professional, never putting a step wrong and smiling all the way. And they do this everyday, to bring smiles to the kids.It s just sucha happy place to be in. The kids loved it and were all dancing to the tunes, some even could sing along (obviously not first timers). Sis went to Hong Kong and confirmed Japan s Disneyland is way better. So in conclusion, a Japanese speaking Mickey mouse sounds nicer than a Cantonese speaking one.

Ah.. dumb tourists throwing away money.

The trademark castle.

We missed the life sized walking creatures, so had to make do with the substitutes.

Walt Disney and Minnie.

I almost bought the hat, it s just nice for NS! But temperature in Singapore can cook eggs.

Night view

Dinner time!

Pizza!

The night parade. i m so ashamed of myself, i fell asleep halfway. with the Japanese made stereo speakers booming away, and the cough medicine taking effect, i actually slept sitting on the frozen floor.

Going home.

Here s some tips for those potential Disneyland visitors. Find those creatures and fight to take pictures in the morning. They sleep quite early. As for the rides, exciting rides are few. The rollercoaster, the water drop, and the best, indoor roller coaster Space Mountain. Best as in, in the park. Best so far for me, Movie World's Scooby Doo Ride. Plan your rides as you can claim Fast Pass tickets for popular rides, the queues waste a lot of time. Catch the parades, late morning, late afternoon and night. We were deprived of childhood, got thrown onto a roller coaster when others were hugging Goofy and Pluto. So, go there when you are still considered a kid.

I seriously suggest this to SMRT. Water coolers in train stations. Ok maybe not like this one which can turn into a water feature, the standard water cooler, instead of catching people drinking water on trains.

23 December 09, Wednesday

The SOP, dragging luggages all over Japan. This time we were moving for Narita. Last hotel. Last day. Had to go to Ueno to change train.

And have lunch there.

Delicious ramen!

a standard stall at Ameyoko. went back to buy more food, since we are already going back. this fella claim to be friends with Jackie Chan, the singapore chef Eric and everyone else la. bought clam to clamp his trap. but it s this type of shopkeepers that keep the place lively. everyone in Japan s so polite. People actually queue up to take photos, queue up to enter the train, and the sales people can stand in the cold all day long shouting the same thing over and over again. Truly amazing. Kudos to the japanese government to reduce unemployment, they are really good at creating jobs. 4 people direct traffic at a junction where there is already functional traffic lights. and people who stand on the streets to shout and advertise for shops when they can simply use a recorded voice and a banner. but i really admire their determination and work ethic. those who give out flyers say thank you to everyone whether they take it or not, similar to the bus drivers which are so respected, like a pilot. Singaporeans punch our own bus drivers. See the difference?

Mercure Hotel Narita, it s a complimentary stay, that s why.

Explored the place. Narita s really like Changi. Almost dead.

24 December 09, Thursday

That means time to go home.Took the hotel shuttle bus to the airport.

Had to repack everything, because we went duty free madness food shopping. Finally hunted down Shiroii Koibito.

Watched more movies, like Ice Age, Public Enemies and District 9. Rewatched others, meaning fast forward, Ugly Truth and Transformers. Just had to make full use of the entertainment. That s Tanah Merah Country Club.

And home sweet home. I was quite excited to go home, sick of staying in hotel rooms. Started to miss friends and everyone i care about. Missed the guitar and soccer ball. But not the 30 degrees. I will miss the climate and the friendly and fashionable people in Japan. Oh, the food too. That s it! Japan 09.