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If there s anyone who actually has a hint of the state i m in now, it s LLC. Because he is the only one on board the same boat. Apart from H2 Econs and H2 Bio, we are almost in the same pair of shoes.

A decision that never came easy, and a path that will never be easy. The load seem to increase, the frustration follows. It s kinda justified, but not to such an extent. I m fine with facing failure, but not others that i face daily. All i ask for is time. I know there isnt a lot left, but, honestly i trust my sanity to last me through everything. It s not being complacent, because it has never been an issue, being never at the top. It s just a matter of trust and time.

Distance taught me many things. Perseverance and pushing beyond limits are life long skills. I m not trying to boast about being in distance, but it s indeed for a special breed of people - like Bio. Trainings are tough, but LLC and i never slacked in our strides. We push to the max, and even beyond the max for every single training. Encountering complete exhaustion, fainting, migraines, cramps, long lasting lactic acid, breathing difficulties, shin splints etc. It s all part of being in Track, but i ve got Coach's backing on this, 'Distance is tougher than Sprints'. I've thought of giving up and just join Sprints, so many times, i can be a specialised 400m runner under coach or even go shorter distances like 200m, take things at least a little easier. But looking at how LLC and Monique's determination overcome the mind, is seriously inspiring. These are the special breed of people. They dun just give up.

3 times a week. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, we go home completely dead. The next day is just a fight to stay awake. The weekends are just to pay the rest debt and do that little bit of work. And weekends arent just weekends anymore, it s for so many other things other than leisure. I m just a zombie in school, roaming the campus, going through the motions of school life but not internalising the content. A bad start easily kills everything. A disruption breaks the momentum. I'm no robot.

I may seem slack, indifferent and oblivious to everything. But it s really difficult to be pushing beyond limits daily. Limits are in existance for a reason. To take a step more is an achievement. If i d given in, i would have just dropped Econs to H1 and take the easier way out. But i chose to persist. And i hope those who pin any kind of hopes on me, do grant me some time. Results dun inverse overnight.

I m tired. Very very tired. I chose this path of high intensity torture that sometimes i wonder if i m even medically up for it. But i survived till now. Just one more month. Being the most worn out zombie in class and probably in school isnt helping. So please, do understand, world.



The pain is bearable, the peserverance is maintainable, only with understanding and just that little bit of support. And more minute hands to keep the clock going.