BT2

I m always tempted to blame, to feel disgusted with myself. The results are horrible looking figures.

People are all filled with greed. Having something is never enough, it must be something better, something more appealing to the eyes. The objective of the assessment was just to seek improvement and if surprises arise, it s a bonus. But it s easier said than done. It s more demoralizing than boosting, who likes to fail? Sometimes after working, you realised the returns aren’t justified, but all you can do is shut up, listen to others discuss how bad you are and feel totally crappy. What help are others rendering when they ignore or simply fail to realise the importance of getting the morale up again, the confidence booster, the belief in the potential that s evident in the long journey we’ve come thus far? Why dun they recognise the fact that people hate to fail, and trust them to get back on track by themselves? Why must they constantly target certain people, when in fact these people just need sometime on their own? Why must they always THREATEN and scare us with numbers and parents. AND why are parents so intimidating??!!

Lecture time is just to fill up the notes that are punctuated with blanks. What s the point? Just to keep us awake? People still sleep anyway. We waste hours filling up blanks when it can be used more productively. Honestly, i learn so much more academic stuff from youtube than trying to fill up blanks, copying chunks of information labelled as bonus points when they could all have been included in the notes in the first place. Many concepts need time to understand, and that is done by staring at proper notes.

Why dun they understand that productivity is dwindled as the day drags on? Having tons of lessons from 7.45am to 6.30pm just aint gonna help. 3 hour lectures are practically useless. At least 3 hour naps refreshes the mind. Feedback? Sure.

2 DAY WORK WEEK, i like that idea.


At the end of the day, we still have to accept it. JUST HEAVE A HUMONGOUS SIGH and move on.

But i m glad and blessed with wonderful people around me. Be it friends, be it teachers. Ms Yeo is ever supportive and encouraging, still believing in us when the results are atrocious, giving us the regular 'jia you' s through emails and even a custom made notebook. Mr Tan is the best math teacher and math friend ever, always fully booked for consultations and patient with us regardless of anything. Mr Peh brightens up the day with his lameness and sacarsm, and his explanations are always top drawer stuff. Friends just make the torture less significant.

OLD PALS reuben and ming s birthday recently, 6 years now, 60 more years to come. Just the right time to catch up when i missed the bbq and soccer sessions locked up mugging. The simple stuff like playing cards, teasing, cracking lamer and lamer jokes, and LAN really keeps life meaningful. Left 4 Dead! Without these people, there really isn’t much motivation to move on.

Haha i sound kinda suicidal eh. There IS still many things to accomplish and do and to simply enjoy life. So many more wonderful non-academic stuff to look forward to. There is also one important task that i ll regret if i m unable to complete this year. And that s driving me on.


Courage is being afraid, but going on anyhow. And that s what i have to do.










Enjoy when you can,
Endure when you must.