Twist of events

Initially, I didn't want to recount much about the past semester. But I thought, maybe, just maybe the past semester could prove to be a life changing period of time.

Dinner and Dance was fine, and could be deemed a huge success given the low expectations of everyone when they heard of the situation we were in. I have never said this to anyone, but how I felt after the event was somewhat weird. Normally, as an organiser of a big event, upon the completion of the event, one would feel relieved, happy, glad, burden dropped, etc I suppose? I felt none of it.

I was in a total daze.

Right after the prize presentation, there was the traditional photo taking on stage. Whilst I was still busy liaising with the DJ, emcees and even the buses for the after party, everyone was busy taking photos. And what pissed me off was when I was left scrambling to take my position at the side of the big group while the 'key people' were in the centre. I had to resort to sticking a head in just before the shutter went off. Isn't it amazing? What's more amazing is that, Facebook was flooded with photos after the event, and I realised everyone had a million of them posted while I had none.

Let's make things clear, I'm not unhappy over the lack of photos.

I was unhappy that people had the time to go around snapping while I was the only one running up and down ensuring everything ran smoothly, was on schedule, and all the teeny weeny details weren't left out. I barely had the time to breathe let alone take photos. Then the final group photo. To be left out and forgotten just irked me. It would be fine if I merely played a small role. But the fact that without doubt, I put in the most effort and amount of work into this, and I wasn't even remembered left me feeling utterly bitter.

What made things worse was that while everyone was happily hanging out with their OGs, I had no one to turn to after I was done with my duties. I felt so lonely. And that was when I felt my van probably felt me more than anyone else present. It was like everything was so foreign and alien, apart from my own vehicle.

Everyone packed their stuff and ran off to the club as expected, while I was left picking up the pieces. I don't feel sad about that, because I knew that was still my job. Signing the hotel bill, making payment to the vendors, collecting lost and found items, clearing up the holding room etc etc. I expected those and was really touched my OG pageant girl actually stayed behind to try to help or at least provide company to a worn out lonely guy.

I was never comfortable in the club as expected, and yea, back to taking care of the drunk and dealing with hotel issues crises at 4am. After the storm cooled when the sun rose, I decided that I had no place there and retreated to the van and drove home, where I truly belong. The drive home was extremely liberating. I remember driving up a flyover and upon reaching the top, a beautiful sunrise greeted me, as if telling me there are still better things in life to look forward to. A lot of drama unfolded that night, and I thought it would be wise to just forget about it.

Elections

I was in a big dilemma when elections came by. I know I said before never to go for another term, but circumstances forced me to reconsider the option. There was a lack of experience in the new team. And I was a bit greedy, attracted to the 'big 4' role and thought about how it would look nice on the resume. But ultimately, I decided against it, after looking back at the amount of commitment and dedication was required to get through the year. Even being in a non-executing role, the small bits and pieces here and there, plus the late night meetings reminded me how much time would be sucked away. There were many other considerations as well, like the people and new culture, my waning drive, and the larger issue of the recognition, the belief in doing so much that seems unnecessary in the eyes of the average student.

However, even though I didn't go for the elections, I am grateful for it. As through it somehow, I've managed to meet someone whom have got me thinking about the possibility of a happier university life and hopefully life in general. Till next time, tata.