appreciate

Hello world, i did survive the week in the end. It was really a hell of a week. Never in my life i felt so exhausted and still kept going and going. The basic instinct and nature of a human being was actually forgotten. Food and rest were of my last priority for me and the groups i took charge. And they understood and followed my lead to get things done first.

We just kept moving, it was mission after mission. I probably slept 5 hours for 5 days, and ate portions that i would usually eat for a single day only. However, all these would not be a problem on a normal day when you just sit around doing nothing. The activities kept us moving nonstop, some were even as intensive as running a marathon, some even worse. Pee was always yellow since we were always sweating, yes, sweating like a dog. Our bodies were pushed to the limits, no rest, no recovery, we kept going and going. Fatigue level rocketed sky high as each second passed. It was to the extent where you can sleep standing upright. I didn’t feel human for 5 days.

When it finally ended, we went back to greet surprises but little did i expect surprises to be as surprising as the initial surprise. Oh anyway we survived and went back for a shower. The clean cool water streamed through your hair, down the camou-ed face and the worn out body driving the dirt down the drain. It was refreshing, it reminded me how it feels to be alive, to be sanitised. It’s these little things that we take for granted every day. Sleep, food, sanitisation.

As i was walking home dressed in my uniform, with the bulky black bag of muddy clothes on my shoulder, i walked past the playground i ve been walking pass for almost all my life. The laughter and screaming of little kids enjoying their selves , the sound of the ball ramming against the void deck walls and the chirps of the birds which were bidding goodbye to the dimming sunrays. Upon hearing those, i just smiled to myself and the line came to my mind: “children having fun, while we are holding guns.” I thought, perhaps, what we are doing is indeed for a greater cause, indeed worth it afterall.

I dropped my bag got changed and went for a great dinner with my family at the airport. The ambience, the food, the company, just reminded me of the times i had when i was a kid, running to the viewing gallery to see the big planes and sitting on ronald’s lap eating my Happy Meal. But that day, i strolled to the same place, with hands in my pockets and just looked on. I didn’t even glance at the planes on the other side of the glass, but i found myself sitting down on a platform, not on ronald’s lap, simply admiring my mum’s eyes, my dad’s inquisitiveness, my sisters’ liveliness. And i wondered, how things have changed, how far i’ve come. More importantly, what’s closest to my heart.

It’s amazing how tough times make you appreciate these little things, especially your loved ones and the memories that have passed and will never come back. Cherish the present ones and enjoy every moment in the future. When i finally do find the other half who i can spend the rest of my life with, who i can join the Amazing Race with, who i can lay down my life for, i know i will give nothing less than what she deserves.