extraordinary

This guy's got some real courage and talent. Check it out!

He deserves something seriously. All the best dude!

tech spoof

I happened to be browsing through some blogs, some defunct, some active, some totally gone.

I read through the old posts, the tags and I was kinda puzzled. Were we really like that 2, 3 years ago? Or rather, who's who? Is the person's character and personality really as portrayed in the post?

Or am I to believe what I see now? Or perhaps it's true, people change. And quite drastically too.

Maybe it's just me, but I think many things can be deduced from one's blog. From the maintenance, the type of entries, and especially something which I for once have an opinion- the number of blogs. The frequency the user changes his or her blog.

Yea, maybe it's just me. But to me, a blog is like a record book. You don't just keep changing record books unless for a good reason. It's something to refer to in future and by closing one down, it's as good as destroying a hard disk of memory. Yea I wouldn't rule out the many possible reasons for changing or closing blogs. But I believe when you start something like this, don't just end it with no apparent reason. The lack of time has often been the excuse. It's acceptable and I use it sometimes too but it's admirable to see people who actually set aside time daily to do a personal reflection. The discipline, the willpower, the character is truly respectable.

With the everchanging technological scene, it is very easy for something to be a hit one day and a miss the next. Take iphone as an example. I remember the craze when iphone 1 came out. The craze was even more intense with 2 and then 3. You will hardly find anyone using an iphone 1 anymore. The turnover rate is insanely high. It just promotes wastage and encourages desire and greed. And that is why I admire a down to earth, practical, disciplined person who will standby his values. I'm not discouraging advancement and improvement. One can always stay current by not being directly involved in the unnecessary craze. You don't have to be a user to advance.

However, if you do become one, don't jump ship so quickly. Or abandon ship. Look at msn messenger, does anyone still log in regularly? It used to be the first thing everyone would do when the computer is switched on. People complained how artificial the interaction was but I think it's so much more personal and useful than facebook messenger. The emo-icons, remember the games?, the file sharing and even video conferencing. People spent hours on it. My record was more than 12 hours. And now, a hi bye on fb usually doesn't last an hour. I don't know, the feel just isn't there.

Anyway, my point here isn't to discredit fb, but to put up a reminder: like the first generation bots in i-robot, PERHAPS, the older generation deserve more of our time. And perhaps they served only a good cause, unlike a superficial unnecessary new generation of products which encourages more undesirable values.

around a ball, before a screen

Oh look! The pigs are flying! The sun's rising from the west! And the cows finally came home!

And yes, the rare pokemon's here to update this space.

Honestly speaking, I haven't done anything productive for the past 2 weeks. I've spent more time organising cages and matches than anything else. Having said that, spent quite a bit of time analysing the beautiful game as well. Weekend nights are usually spent on the couch at home watching 22 men chasing a ball. Ok, in short my weekdays were spent preparing for soccer while my weekends are just soccer. To sum it up, my life is back revolving around a ball.

Perhaps not. Watched quite a handful of movies too. Footloose, Paranormal Activity 3 and The Ides of March. And on mio, Mars Needs Moms, Ip Man 2 (again) and Take Me Home Tonight. Hmm could have missed out a few others but whatever.

Footloose. Was expecting more from it. It was more plot telling than action dancing. Step Up's probably better in my opinion.

My immediate thoughts on PA3 was that it was hilarious. The moment I stepped out of the theatre, I couldn't stop laughing. Cheap thrill. Gotta admit was given a shock a couple of times throughout but that's it. Maybe I haven't been watching too many horror films to appreciate this one. It is actually quite well filmed compared to those chinese ghost flicks. The scaremeter is more of sudden movements and loud sounds which is different from the bloody and gruesome scenes of similar genre screenings. Haha but if you can't get the images out of your mind after the movie, then good luck to you at night when the lights are gone.

Ides of March started off slow. It's about what goes behind the scenes in American politics. The main concept is interesting, the script well written, actors delivered smooth. However, I don't think it's worth focussing the entire film on one idea. It isn't as fun watching a guy solve a 3x3 rubik's cube compared to one solving 10x10.

Mars Needs Moms just taught me to love my mom even more. A kids show, period.

Ok enough of movie reviews. Been watching local drama serials too. It sucks because when you start on one, you gotta end it and find out what happens.

Hmm what else? Rotting at home I guess. Feeling tired by doing nothing. Alright, better do something useful now. Till then!

for the first time

This has gotta be one of the best covers on youtube, together with their cover for just the way you are. It's addictive.

Life has been great. Can't ask for more. Ok technically I can but I'm someone who's very easily contented. And just being at home or spending time with my family is good enough. Spent a couple of days out in town with my mum, having a good lunch and a walkabout when the malls are empty. The carefree days somehow looms. Haha. What a bad way to put it.

I realised I 'wasted' a lot of time on the couch watching everything that pops out on the black screen. From local drama serials to taiwanese variety programmes (oh crap how I miss taiwan) to encore matches to the very well produced xfactor usa and even news. And just when you are about to label me as a pig, ah, I moved my limbs at the gym too.

To make things even better, had a brilliant cage session at punggol today. 3hrs was da bomb. Ok maybe I had more fun because my team was in it most of the time, but I think I matched up well in terms of fitness and performance. Played well and made a new friend. Good day.

Speaking of friends, I really enjoy the company of this dear friend who has fought with me from bmt through ocs and now unit. Somehow we are always on the same wavelength and our conversations always end up with some random witty conclusion or a raised eyebrow. Spent 3 good nights ranging from a coffee shop, starbucks and mcdonald's with him just talking nonsense. Sometimes we engage in some really intellectual discussion which I'm really grateful for the enlightenment that would result. And infamously, we are the longstanding exco members of the lonely hearts club which has the ultimate objective of having zero members in the end. Such a self sacrificial club. Hahaha. Nice one raven warrior.

Oh and I watched Real Steel last fri. That was hellavu movie. Great stuff. There was so much meaning behind each scene. So many lessons to learn, so many values we can pick up. It's the real deal.

Speaking of movies, watched Source Code on the plane to taiwan and it was a master stroke of genius. I was very very tempted to give 5 stars, but the medium in which I was watching probably killed it. Haha.

In short, the past week has been absolutely outstanding. I might not have touched the books, but I wouldn't say I have 'wasted' the week away because I thoroughly enjoyed and learnt through whatever unconventional methods there might be.

the lazy song

Hi all. I'm here to confess I'm just too lazy to blog.

Life has been interestingly weird for the past 3 weeks ever since I returned from Taiwan. Yea I went for a week of hols with my mum and sis for a timely getaway. But since I came back, life hasn't been that peaceful. My poor phone has been ringing and vibrating non-stop and poor me will always be in a dilemma whether to answer. It isn't that I don't want to heed a SOS call, but people must really learn to survive without me. Soon, I wouldn't even be around to help and what would they do? I'm really sick and tired of how this whole thing turned out. The demands are crazy. And it isn't about the organisation, but the people, especially the management. It's extremely unsustainable. But that's it, I'm leaving my legacy. Call me mister.

As usual, I will have my long long post holiday blogpost but it's still under construction. When you have to do such a thing on your smartphone when you are sitting in the bus or train then you know you are either insanely busy or just too lazy to switch on the desktop. Ok, I'm both.

But seriously, the past 3 weeks have really made me hate my phone. Especially when a call comes in. It has reached a stage that even when close friends call, I will hesistate to answer. My smses will usually be 3 hours late and one sentence long. For those who are abstaining from contacting me it's a good choice, because all I want to do now is lie in bed and do nothing or at least do my own stuff like studying.

Despite this strange behaviour of mine now, I know I will want to start hanging out soon. Everyone has been wanting a piece of me, but soon I will want a piece of everyone. Ok not everyone, but those that I see a purpose and meaning in spending time with.

Yea maybe you.

this I promise you

Post dated sunday.

I'm smiling now because I had a brilliant day.

As usual, I began the sunday with the routine family time at civil service club and had a pretty intense yet slack workout. I didn't feel that I put in much but I still felt satisfied and tired. That was followed with a nice lunch at a coffeeshop nearby. Everything just fell in nicely, the weather was great, with a cool breeze and the ambience was comfortable. With the chinese pop music quietly thumping in the background and the cosy and homely feeling the coffeeshop provided, together with good dimsum, a soft boiled egg and tehpeng, it gave the resort-sy yet singaporean feel.

I went home, packed up and carried my bookin stuff to bugis. There I met my brudder reuben and a familiar face. Yea, a familiar face, but unrecognisable torso. I knew it was belmond but I was shocked to see how much he has changed. My jaw literally dropped. He lost an astounding 67kg since the last time I saw him. That was the end of last year. I shallnt elaborate on the details but will just comment that he is really blessed.

Visited this coffeeshop that literally means coffee shop as it sells only freshly brewed coffee. The design and concept of the shop is really unique. It is quite a small shophouse and had tables and chairs at random locations. Their payment concept is comparable to a religious outfit. Ok how it works is that you order the coffee, they find a seat or if you can diy even better, they deliver, you drink, and you decide whether you want to or how much cash you want to drop into the container at the door. The coffee aint that great but you can taste the freshness of the beans and the sincerity of the one making it. They really put in much effort in brewing their coffee.

Next up was to marina square where we watched Suck Seed. I'll give it 4 stars. Funny yet sweet at the same time. There were times in the movie when I really felt connected. I mean you don't get the type of feeling when you watch movies like captain america, or even the last harry potter installment. These are the scenes where you don't even have the time to go awww because it isn't cheesy or deliberately included to have that effect. It's down to the acting and chemistry of the cast. Or perhaps, the intent was to connect with viewers of similar sentiments or experiences. In that case they succeeded as I believe any teenager or post adolescent being would have gone through some sort of relationship complications or issues.

Whatever it is, it is a good movie.

I was at total ease with the company I had, and I'm glad and grateful for that. I don't think anyone else got the opportunity to see that because somehow the personalities within various groups doesn't balance out. Sometimes it's just so fake, forcing out a conversation, or having a one-sided conversation where questions only come from one party, or being totally uncomfortable and awkward. I believe a group would achieve the ultimate balance and understanding when everyone can feel comfortable with silence. Of course, there must be words flowing, but when it's time to shut up, there are no qualms.

Despite saying all that, I wouldn't want people to change how they are when around me. Every relationship should always be special and unique in its own way. I appreciate that fact.

After the movie, we went for a quick bite and decided to walkabout at esplanade where we chanced upon the moonfest performances. The night was particularly beautiful despite the slight haze. A clear melodious voice piercing the nightsky, with the distinct city skyline as a backdrop and the ceaseless breeze in my face, I realised what I've been missing by staying in camp and home all day long. Or maybe I'm just lacking someone to share these with.

Taiwan coming up on friday! Finally a real break. Till then, ciao!

rights

I'm really disappointed with how things have turned out. Disappointed with the so-called 'management', the supposed wiser leaders. Even for someone I used to hold high regard for, the true colours couldn't hide ultimately.

Somehow, I felt like a domestic worker for the past 2 weeks. Only worse. It's really crazy. For the first time in my life, every minute was fully utilized. In 24hours, 2 x 10min meals, or even optional, 20min spent in the loo, 3hours sleep, the rest work. That equates to approximately 20hours of solid work time a day, consecutive for approx 2 weeks. No weekends. No breaks. Just a slave.

Of course, inevitably the black hawk went down. The bugs attacked. I shouted mayday but still kept working. Until I decided I needed a break and took one day off stating mc, but all I did was sleep for one whole day. The flu subsided, the throat soothed, the fever cooled. I was kinda proud of myself though, for I actually recovered fully in 2 days with the help of only 2 flu pills.

The purpose of this post isn't about how I fell sick and recovered. It is about the reason why I fell sick. I've learnt so much how people give an organisation its shape. I've learnt the importance of good leadership, imposing strong and robust internal systems, a solid foundation. I've learnt how the quality of the manpower can make such a difference and how different education backgrounds affect the standard. I've learnt that respect is earned and not given. I've learnt that there's a bigger world out there for me to explore. I've learnt that I hate the combination of incompetence, stubbornness and authoritativeness, because it's the perfect composition for doomsday. I've learnt that there are easy yet stupid methods to earn your pay, and difficult yet brilliant and constructive methods for the same target. I choose the latter.

I realised the importance of freedom and the right to choose what you want to do every single day. It isn't about politics, it's just plain basic human rights.

Haven't been really replying msges and bothered with social life thanks to the past 2 and coming week. But like I said, it's like an exam and it's ending soon. Real soon.

you take the left, I take the right

"Each year China graduates seven million English speaking students from its universities"

How scary is that?
Do you feel threatened?

I think that's the reason why the world ends in 2012.

Anyway, I just can't wait for these 2 weeks to be over. It's like the crazy exam period in school. Where you stay up late to cram stuff into your head and in the end still go into the exam hall light-headed. And the best part, you screw up. Tada!

Had a pretty good break after a crazy week in camp. You see everyone running around rushing to get things done in the day, and by night, they are still rushing albeit at a slower rate, and by 3am, you see zombies along the corridors. And after a few hours of sleep, they start all over again. Seriously, it's like the game pac man. The circular thing goes around eating all the food, and he goes round and round with a snapping aligator mouth. Ah whatever, it's just chaotic and sometimes I wonder what the hell are they doing this for? A BIG SIGH.

Like now, I can't sleep because my clock has been reset to bed time at 3 and reveile at 8 and wake up to a mess, have a takeaway breakfast at 10, lunch at 4, dinner at 10. Or something like that.

I need a life, a normal one please.

first time

Had an eventful week as usual.

Even though I always complain about how busy I am week in week out, I realised I kinda like my job. Compared to other roles people are taking up, I have a pretty special role that no one would have the chance to experience in these 2 years, and probably 30 years.

Anyway, had a good saturday with the 5. Finally managed to squeeze everyone into a date. Despite some glitches, overall, it was still an enjoyable session. And yes, we need a new system to facilitate the small details.

It was yong pin's 20th birthday and I was reminded again of the big two zero. We have all come a long way.

I was reminded of all the small steps and first times I had that built up to today.

The first time I was left alone at a shopping centre and got lost.
The first time I was alone with strangers in a classroom.
The first time I danced with a girl.
The first time I spent the first cent and bought my own food.
The first ever friend I made.
The first time I was entrusted with the house key.
The first time I walked home myself.
The first time I took public transport alone.
The first time I reached home past midnight.
The first time I had a crush.
The first time I ran a race.
The first time I scored a goal.
The first time I failed an exam.
The first time I topped the class.
The first time I attended a camp.
The first time I went out of the country with friends.
The first time I was looked up to.
The first time I wore a tie.
The first time I sprained my ankle.
The first time I shot a bullet.
The first time I threw a grenade.
The first time I was thrown into a jungle alone.
The first time I got a job and got paid.
The first time I drove a car.
The first time I drove alone.
The first time I was saluted.
The first time I punished my men.
And the list goes on.

Many many more first times and many more to come. It's pretty interesting how things have turned out after these baby steps, and to see how things will turn out in a few years to come.

skyscraper

ok here it goes.

i am simply too lazy to come to this page, log in and type.

yea but somehow i ended up here.

anyways, been watching movies, new ones, old ones, good ones, bad ones. managed to catch bridesmaids (most of it i believe, despite being late for a record breaking 40 min). it was a hallmark of an excellent movie. a good script, plot and cast was sufficient. it's interesting to watch especially for clueless males as it offers an insight to women's greatest insecurities and thoughts which often results in illogical actions. hahaha. it's true. anyway, shallnt disclose any spoilers for those who havent watched.

captain america was crap. come on, i know it's base on a comic, but the depiction is way too far fetched. certain stuff were way too ridiculous. 1941, a supersonic jet? or laser guns? we don't even have such guns in the present. i was only glad that i watched it on a weekday with a $6.50 entrance tic and a discounted popcorn combo.

127hours, i really have no idea what to say. let's say, brilliantly acted and directed? everything seems so real. it showcased the true will and determination of a man fighting for his own survival. to what extent would one go to for passion and survival. the thoughts of a dying man. the ability to improvise. the wonders of the human mind. and the priorities in life. simply fantastic.

ok i shallnt rate the old movies i watched, because it's time for dinner soon.(stomach growling heh)

it has been a pretty hectic week, rushing out reports, printing them on agonizingly slow desktops and screwed up formatting. yea, experienced unnecessary stress and irritation.

however, a weekend that included a marche dinner, good kickabout session at cage and family sunday just about defined a good work life balance.

tonight

Hello one and all.

I think this is becoming a norm. To be blogging on a long trip home. Had a good hawker dinner at Bukit Timah with the guys after a disappointing cage session. Had a below par performance due to an ingenious idea to wake up early and go for a swim with the family. It wasn't that intense but I guess whenever it comes to sports, I can't control how much I exert because it's just me to always let it all out and conserve none. So, I used up somewhat most of my ATP and hence less energy!

Anyway, I can't really remember what I was busy with such that I had no time to post. However, I do remember that I was on duty, caught a HP7 movie, went for the sunday routine and that's about it and booked in all over again. It was a pretty interesting week, with an array of activities happening. From being able to go to places never been before, to firing rounds, to sitting in the office. The week seemed extended but at least the routine was broken and everyday was made less mundane.

I kinda like the sat that just passed. I attended my sister's PTM and the feeling of returning to a sort of alma mater is kinda comforting. Things have changed yet every location will bring back those precious moments. PAE was a good time. Never had a better work life balance in my life. And after that, we went furniture hunting! I still remember about 10 years ago, when we first moved house, we were so excited to go try the display sets of beds, sofas, and just running around the shop and giving the kiddish two cents worth as to which furniture to buy. As for now, we are just looking to replace the worn out sofa set.

That was followed by an interesting road trip to a really nice place with a nice view for dinner. The only drawback is that only a car can take you there. Nevertheless, it's a potential spot.

Alrighty, shall end here. I think my posts are getting more boring but whatever. That's life now. And perhaps life for many years to come, sadly.

a good week

Alrighty, time to utilize time. On the train back home.

Hmm I'm pretty happy this week, despite having to go back to camp for duty on a friday when the whole unit's having a stand down. I was elated winning the soccer match during the games day, contributing significantly to the team. However, I believe I could have played better and should have prevented the 2nd goal we conceded. I should have anticipated that my centreback would miss the cross and should have reacted better to head it away. Damn. Anyway what's important is that we did our part, won the match and scored points for the overall victory.

To build onto that satisfaction, I had a halfday and went home for a great afternoon nap. Haven't had one for a long time. Moreover, I managed to log onto msn messenger and had a really interesting conversation. Good for you.

As mentioned, booked in for duty on fri, booked out on sat morning and had a good breakfast talk with my mum again. Basically spent my sat slacking away.

Sun, cage in the afternoon followed lan with the usual dudes and a splendid dinner at sizzler's suntec. Bumped into diana ho along the way, small world indeed. It's been awhile since we all had the time to sit down on the same table and talked, rubbish topics or ns topics, it was a jolly good time. Especially with the big ass joker around, it was pure fun. Sadly now, I'll be booking in and looking forward only to another friday duty and a mountain of work to clear. It has been a good week, and a good day today because for once, I walk into the open without breaking a sweat! Great weather today.

wish you were here

It has been a pretty interesting week.

For the first time this year, i walked into my bunk having nothing to do. The feeling was really good. I guess that's the reason why i would want a job that starts at 9 and ends at 5. Sharp. I really like the idea of working hard in the day and just letting loose for the rest of the evening. But life ain't like that, and it's gonna be another hectic 6 months all over again starting next week.

I spent my closing week listening to people and somehow really enjoyed the process. It's interesting to hear about others' thoughts and happenings. I may have a boring life but by listening to such stories, it's as if i have been through such things myself.

The weekend was brilliant. And the best part is that it hasn't ended yet. Technically, the weekend IS brilliant.

laisse-faire

Hello one and all. I promised myself I would post something today, so here I am.

The previous post isn't a good post to leave as the latest post. I had another read recently and I questioned myself, did I really feel so shitty for that week? I mean how bad can life be right? It's amazing how different I feel right now as compared to 2 weeks ago. Call it quick to bounce back from tough times, or just can't be bothered to be affected, I have no idea how i managed to overcome that period.

Looking back, yea again, lessons learnt. Ok but enough of that week. It has passed, and I was fighting more fire the following week. As usual. Ok to put it in proper simple English, it is handling or seeing to urgent impromptu stuff that suddenly pops out of nowhere. And these crap usually attack big.

Anyway, apart from those forest fires, I practically reverted back to a full time student for the week. It's scary, the familiar stress and tension studying and facing examinations. It isn't easy being a student and it isn't easy working either. Life sucks man. Haha.

After all the shit that happened, I finally sat back, rested and had a great Sunday with my family. Dimsum brunch at the old Fortunate Restaurant at Toa Payoh, now named swatow or something. And followed by grocery shopping at Giant, a good swim and a great dinner at Civil Service Club Changi. Somehow the conversations were simple and stress free, talking about everything under the sun, laughing at the lousiest of jokes. Great time.

My mum described me when I was a baby and it was quite amusing. She said I was really just a chubby fat baby who would grab a bottle of juice, shut up, lie down and drink in the cot. With my legs dangling out, occasionally making small kicks and basically just taking life easy, relaxing. Hahah I guess it's really in-built into my DNA. I see no point in being bothered, being uptight about small little things for a long time. Even if it's a major thing, I would try to settle as calmly as possible and move on. My mum said I was really different from other kids who would run around, scream and cry for no apparent reason. I and my sisters would just hold hands, walk down the street and people watch. Just observe silently and ask politely when necessary. Is that even possible? I have no idea why we were and are like that! How can we be born obedient and mature? It's seriously scary! Haha but that's me I guess.

Aha, watched lion city cup and was totally impressed and inspired by the kids. They got my legs itchy all over again. Meanwhile, it's time to sleep! Dead tired.

Have a great week ahead! (I definitely would!)



Always look on the bright side of life. :D
(Lol that's coming from me, wow. Hahaha!)

happy birthday to me

I probably had the worst birthday of my life.

I just feel so miserable. So much for gritting teeth, fighting on with perseverance and determination. All the talk of enduring through the toughest times, it might be all bullshit afterall. Yes it's true, I'm still hanging on, putting up a straight face even though I really feel like breaking down, hide in some corner and just run away from this world. I can't even hide how drained I am. So tired and stressed out.

I just feel so helpless. All the talk about being independent and facing shit myself. Yea facing shit myself is true, I won't drag anyone down with me. I won't even breathe a word. But I'm feeling equally shitty. The pillar is cracking, falling apart and about to collapse. I am looking around, looking for someone to talk to, someone I can confide in, someone who can be my very own pillar of strength when I need a boost. I feel so lonely. A couple of my bros gave me some encouragement. But i realised there's someone who I would want to talk to at this point of time. I don't know why but it's just this feeling. Having said that, I really can't think of anyone who can fully connect with me. Or is it this thing called ego that's stopping me? Or is it truly independence? I have no idea.

And I think they finally realised how I am feeling. They probably noticed the blankness in my gaze and my world of black and white. The weariness of my face and the frequent daydreaming. In case you are wondering if I am sick or crazy I can assure you I'm not. But at the rate I'm working I probably will.

My wish came true. The first time came and hell I learnt so much. If you are a regular here, you might be sick of reading my lessons learnt everyday. This experience will be engraved in my mind for life. It's painful, but I just want it resolved. Sometimes, there are more important things in life. And someone reminded me,that life is well, the most important thing in life. Something even worse could have happenbed but it didn't and I should be thankful.

And thankful I am. For I had a 20th birthday I will never forget.

The build up to 11 june was unbelievable. I wondered why my usual bo chup self was so easily affected. I was truly demoralised. Upon having the chance to have a glimpse of what happens out of my own cubicle, my morale just hit rock bottom. Whatever I said about life being unfair and to suck it up became an irony. Something struck me. Seriously, why am I working so damn hard when everyone else who's involved just don't give a shit. Why am I covering up for people? Why did I work so hard for? What ever happened to the ultimate goal of being among the top, the privileges, the honour, prestige and authority? What's gold on your shoulders when you are no difference from anyone else apart from being a stupid capable workhorse who others sometimes come by to exchange a hypocritical word of respect or to seek help? What happened to all the promises, hopes and expectations?

I slumped back into my office chair and just sat there not wanting to do anything. And when I finally opened my inbox, I read an email from a colleague that was a direct attack on me. I was extremely offended. Accusation from someone who does NOTHING. However, I just took a deep breath and ended it just there. Some people are just two faced hypocrites and I can't do anything about it. And so be it. Ultimately, if they don't change for the better, they are the ones to suffer.

Ok mood's kinda better and shall end here to do some thing productive.

somehow

You'll Never Walk Alone.

dying flame

i'm pretty drained this week. it's the type of week when you wake up every single day tired all over again. even with an attempted 10 hour sleep, it wasnt enough for compensation.

sometimes i wonder, why are we so hyped up about what others think of you. what would they judge when you do certain things. why should we bother? i have a simple stand on this. just do anything to the best of you ability, do it your way, do it with style or do it with no nonsense. they can think what they want, but i still live my life. there's no point trying to change their minds when they don't see how things are presenting themselves. they have their opinion, so be it. everyone's entitled to one, don't bother.

the other day, we were all called up for a 'feedback' session. when asked for honest feedback, those who complained day in day out just kept their mouths shut. none had the balls to say it. instead, they came up with lame distractors that just caused more story telling and rebuttal. i had no complains, because i know what i am here for. i know life's never fair, some do more, some do less but we get the same rewards. i know we are doing jobs that it is impossible to find willing and capable people to do, but someone has to do the job, for now. it isnt that long, so just grind your teeth and bite your tongue or swallow it if need be, suck it up and just do it.

on a happier note, i had a timely reminder from that feedback session. short term goals. they do wonders. had a great time on thursday, and spent time with family on friday. it is ok to let loose and be a retard once in a while, because sometimes, life's just worth it. however, i think this shouldnt be a norm and regular pastime. we should find alternatives, and perhaps, healthier ones. afterall, someone will always be left out and that's inequity.

hardly a soul out there knows my one and only fear. yet, i almost encountered it that day. however, that same day, i learnt how strong the mind is. it breaks your physical limits. i knew i had to hold out and hell i held on. i did everything i had to do before i know it's safe to let go. call it kiasi or scaredy cat, but it's more of responsibility. when you know you are the pillar, or when you know you have a duty to fulfill, you cant just let go. hahah i guess i'll make a pretty good lingering spirit always having unfulfilled tasks.

watched kungfu panda 2 with mum and sis. it wasnt good in my opinion, but $30 was worth it to exchange for some good laughters from my dear mum. i went for a run the other day and realised my stamina was back to ground zero after just 1 week of no exercise. it's demoralising.

today, i went in the direction of a SOS flare and wasted my whole saturday. sji sports fiesta or carnival wasnt that good. at least for me. lack of playing time, played badly, horrifying mud pitch, untimely downpour, team disqualified and more importantly, the whole day gone. went for a quick lunch at mos and reached home at 5 only to spend almost 2 hours washing my mud filled clothes. 10 minutes on the pitch, 2 hours in the toilet.

ok i shall end here, gotta study and SLEEP. when i can.

i sound like a retard

i've been kinda carefree and exceptionally easy going for the past 2 weeks. just letting the free spirited side of me overtake my sanity. i've learnt to take it easy, easier than normal. perhaps it's true, the flame is dying. burnout. music's been influential of my mood.

ok cut the crap. i wouldnt be here if i havent had anything to say. yes, i played a match last week, and we lost. there were some issues raised. and it seems to be in the forward direction. even though it relies heavily on me again to make things happen, i'm taking a step back and let others contribute more. haha maybe it's the trend of stepping down to distribute the power and rights to the next generation, and only step in when needed. it's kinda weird, coz everyone's a leader, but a leader in different fields. but it's good everyone knows when to step up when needed.

i just read an interesting post, and it finally fed me with the reason and explanation for the sudden change in behaviour. it might not be sudden, but drastic enough for me to notice. i was thinking of it for a period of time, but i couldnt deduce and conclude i was spot on. i totally understand the feeling, but i can't do anything to help, only to make myself sound stupid and pretend i didnt know.

ok i think that's enough, it's movie time.

weird

Hi all. I'm finally forcing myself to type something here. I've been too lazy to do so. There has been quite a number of things I wanted to blog about, but just too lazy to switch on the com, and type. And great, I'm doing it on a bb again.

Anyway, life's been weird. I have no idea what kind of lifestyle I'm leading. I've been eating like a glutton for the past 2 weeks. Zhi char which always came with crabs, hell lot of them, a Carousel buffet, which adds on to my snaking list of conquered hotel buffets, chinese restaurants for meals and weird timings or people call them brunch and high tea, a return to Outback Steakhouse after probably a decade of absteinance and many more. And I have to declare I didn't have much output, but yet I remain hovering between 64 and 65.

And now, I'm training up for a crunch tie, a comeback to field soccer this weekend. The sore muscles and the feeling of puking after pushing hard for a mad run reminded me of good old days.

Then there's the guitar making a comeback. Suddenly realised I've been playing instrumental since we stopped jamming. No lyrics. So music started to come with word for me.

Despite all these, I'm slotting in studying whenever I feel like and have the time. And not to forget, the countless duties I have.

The feeling is just weird. I've been juggling so much, but I don't really feel stressed up at the moment. Perhaps it's the long weekends and the good company ie. Family and friends that make life so much easier.

Yesterday I had another weird dream. It's those type that just pops out of nowhere. I have no idea why would someone just appear in my unconcious thought process when I haven't even been thinking of the person. It's just weird.

happy

All I can say is, it was a fantastic long weekend. Period.